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10 of the Dumbest Things Put on a Jeep

63K views 305 replies 172 participants last post by  WillyD 
#1 ·
This is an article I read from another Jeep site. What do you think?

Dumb Accesories
 
#2 ·
I'm in 100% agreement with all 10. They nailed it on the head.

I have a few more to add.......

Stingers on daily drivers
Snorkels on anything
Renegade flares on those poor YJs
Chrome ( I know they already said it, I just wanted to reiterate)
Bull balls hanging off your hitch. (Go drink some Draino and play in the street)
Nascar accessories. ANY Nascar accessories. (We get it, you're a hillbilly. Move on.)
Light bars (Cool in the 80's-90's....not now)
Tube Bumpers (see above)
Chrome (Yes, again)
 
#5 ·
Could you imagine nascar but with Jeeps racing around a dirt track? I guess like moab rally or something were each had to navigate obstacles on the track. I would so watch that.:punk:
 
#7 ·
Bad article. I don't see many people spending the money and going through the trouble of installing a snorkel just for the street. Snorkels get used in my opinion. There are plenty of places that pretty much require them. The Pine Barrens is one that comes to mind. That australia comment is BS.
 
#174 ·
Bad article. I don't see many people spending the money and going through the trouble of installing a snorkel just for the street. Snorkels get used in my opinion. There are plenty of places that pretty much require them. The Pine Barrens is one that comes to mind. That australia comment is BS.

agree 100%
 
#8 ·
Ten of the dumbest things put on Jeeps

We've all seen them, those Jeeps rolling down the road that you just have to shake your head and wonder to yourself, "what the hell is that guy thinking" or "what a stupid looking rig".

The ignorance of the American buying public combined with the sheer brilliance of Madison Avenue advertising has convinced many that they NEED this stuff on their Jeeps. What many Jeep owners just don't understand in the beginning is that the rig they see in a magazine or the catalog they get in the mail isn't necessarily the type of rig that is suited for the wheeling they will be doing in their own part of the country.

With that in mind, here are 10 of the dumbest things we have seen done to Jeeps:

10. Number 10 isn't really put on Jeeps it's what Jeeps are put on....Trailers! First of all, 99% of Jeeps on trailers have a good reason for being there. Usually these rigs are modified to a level as to make them illegal for or just highly uncomfortable for street use. These rigs need a trailer. The Jeeps we are talking about are the 1% that look like they, by and large, just came off the dealers lot except for maybe sporting a new set of 31" tires. For some reason these guys seem to think that pulling up to the staging area with a Jeep on a trailer is a sign of a real "trail rig", a status symbol. I guarantee that the guys he is following and in front of on the trail by the end of the day will be letting him know what an idiot he was for sinking $5000 into a trailer instead of lockers, lift, winch and some body armour.

9. Super Swamper and TSL Bogger tires. Hear us out. First of all, we have to say that Super Swamper tires are by far the BEST off-road tire we have ever used. The operative term here is "off-road". SS tires as well as TSL Boggers and many of the other tires made by Interco are some of the best tires you can buy for their intended use which is, lets all say it again in unison OFF-ROAD USE! It never ceases to amaze us when we see them used on street rigs. These tires are the absolute worst riding, horrible wearing tire you can buy. In addition to that they can be counted on to reduce your mileage from 1 to 3 miles per gallon. It is astounding how many Jeeps as well as full size trucks we see riding down the road on these horribly uncomfortable tires just for show on rigs you just know will never see a dirt road let alone real off-road use. We think this is why we see so many Swampers and Boggers on craigslist, the owners figured out they suck for on-road use and replace them with different tires.

8. Dome light clips. Resembling the spring in the middle of a clothes pin these clips are placed over the door pin to disable the dome light when you remove the doors from a Jeep. When we saw these items for the first time in a catalog we had to ask, WTF!!! Priced at around $10.00 they are a very expensive alternative to just pulling the door pin fuse which Jeep has very conveniently provided for doing the same thing for free! "A fool and his money are soon parted" - T. Tusser.

7. Tail light and turn signal guards. O.K. folks these things just plain look retarded. We can't even begin to fathom the reasoning some use for buying these things. On a street rig they serve absolutely no purpose and come to think of it they won't do squat for a trail rig either. In most cases they only make changing out tail light bulbs much more difficult. Furthermore there is nothing backing them up. If per chance you were to back your rig into an object in just the right way as to actually do damage to the tail light the guard is only going to ensure that some serious sheet metal damage will be done in the area right before it bends and then crushes the light anyway where as the plastic (and may we add very inexpensive) tail light would usually just break and that would be the end of it.

6. Light bars. Light bars are as good as putting a big sign on your Jeep that reads "I'm a dork". We have NEVER seen anyone with a light bar actually turn the lights on. In many cases the installations we have seen include a row of very expensive lights that aren't even wired! Light bars are also guaranteed to be the first thing ripped off the top of the rig by a low hanging branch or downed tree if the owner does actually take their mall crawler off road. Really, come on people, how much light do you need to drive to the grocery store at night.

5. Snorkels. We can only guess that the origin of intake snorkels is from Australia where frequent and sometimes unexpected deep water crossings in the middle of nowhere is a common occurrence. However, most of the snorkels we see now are mounted on Jeeps emblazoned with the "It's A Jeep Thing, You Wouldn't Understand" sticker on the windshield, loaded with all kinds of chrome and sporting 22" rims with low profile tires. We have never seen one of these people with a need to ford a 3' deep water crossing on their way to Nordstroms.

4. High lift jacks mounted to the face of the front or rear bumpers. We see this situation all the time and it just screams "I don't take my Jeep off road". Those few individuals we have seen on the trail with their jacks mounted this way really haven't thought things through. Heavy duty trail bumpers are made for a reason, to protect the front or rear of the Jeep from impact with rocks, trees, your buddies Jeep, etc. Mounting one of the arguably most important tools you can carry in harms way is just plain foolish. On one outing we warned a guy with us that having his high lift jack on the bumper was asking for trouble. Sure enough he got a flat and proceeded to remove his jack from it's ridiculous mounting location only to find out that the beam of the jack was bent (from bouncing off a large boulder earlier in the day) and therefore the jack was rendered useless. He soon started asking for someone to loan a jack so that he could change his tire. Good thing he wasn't out on some lonesome forest service road alone or he would have been out of luck.

3. 20" rims and low profile tires. Obviously not seen on real trail rigs but the idiots that do this even to street Jeeps don't seem to understand that the low profile tires negate the fact that the vehicle has 4-wheel drive. Low profile tires are not synonymous with good traction in low traction situations (like snow and ice in the winter) Last winter we saw more 4x4 rigs in the ditch sporting 20" rims and low profile tires than anything else. One of my neighbors with this setup on a larger SUV managed to make it only half way up our hill then proceed to spin his pretty over priced low profile tires until he ended up in the ditch, mind you he had 4-wheel drive. Right behind him another neighbor in a Honda Accord drove right up the hill, go figure. Why anyone would buy a 4-wheel drive vehicle and then ruin it's capabilities by putting stupid wheels and tires on it are beyond me.

2. "It's a Jeep Thing, You Wouldn't Understand" stickers. Always seen on Jeeps that NEVER leave the road. Jeeps loaded with chrome gee gaws, 20" rims and low profile tires, snorkels, light bars and which will never see dirt. We own Jeeps and they're right, we don't understand. The kind of people that put this statement on their Jeeps will probably never use them for what they are engineered for, off-road use. It's the Jeep owners that put these stickers on their Jeeps that really don't understand.

1. And the number one dumbest thing we have ever seen on Jeeps: Chrome. Today you can buy chrome replacement items for almost everything on a Jeep. From chrome hinges for the doors and windshield to door handles, diff covers, mirrors, hooks and the absolute dumbest, chrome grills. Just like the guys that show up at the trail with their stock street Jeep on a trailer, Jeep owners that put all their money into chrome crap instead of items like lockers, winches and protection usually end up needing the "hook" throughout the day to get them through the trail and attract the disdain of all they share the trail with. There is an old saying in the 4x4 community: "Chrome don't get you home". Even if it is a street only Jeep chrome still looks completely stupid. Silly yuppie, chrome is for Harleys not Jeeps.
i am guilty of the trailer thing, but i fit into the 99% club because it is a lifted CJ7 that is a death trap at any speed over a crawl.

i am guilty of the super swampers, but the are mounted on said death trap, so they are only used off road.

i was not only stupid enough to buy one set of the dome light clips, i actually bought 2 because i didn't realize they came in a set of 2 :duh:. i gave one set away, used the other set once, and then tossed them in the glove box never to be used again. then i went ahead and bought the fancy light switch that gets wired in, i spent $50, and THAT didn't work either. now i pull the fuse. :duh:

i am also guilty of the tail light guards, but in my defense, they were given to me for free.

i have no light bar on any vehicle

i do have a snorkel, but it is necessary when you actually drive through deep water

my hi-lift is mounted safely inside the jeep

my 15" rims are black and they have 34" swampers wrapped around them, not lo-pro's

"it's a jeep thing" sticker....guilty as charged (it's a sticker thing, you wouldn't understand)

all of my jeeps have been de-chromed
 
#10 ·
:wavey: Sometimes snorkels are used in high dust areas. I'm guilty of watching NASCAR. My wife watches football. I ask her who the hell wants to watch guys in tight pants patting each other on the ass. In a game last week one of the players walked through a group of his guys and 4 of them patted him on the ass.
 
#15 ·
All I have to say is to each his own. We all buy the things we do because we like, not because someone else likes them. :rolleyes:

BTW, I agree with most everything in the article, but I'm not going to tell you you're an idiot because you like it. :flipoff:
 
#16 ·
I think the whole thing is just a bunch of ball bashing bullchit written by some elitist prick.

If a person buys a Jeep, they can do whatever they darn well please to it, It's no one elses's business.

Our tastes may not be the same, but that's what makes us all individuals.
When I read stuff like this it makes me want to take my trail rig out, yank the bumpers, corners, hi lift and steps, have them chromed, and plaster it with decals proclaiming that it's MY Jeep thing and I'll do with it as I dang well please!

I'd like to see what that guy's Jeep looks like and furthermore - I wonder how his living room looks.
 
#128 ·
I agree tired of the BS

I think the whole thing is just a bunch of ball bashing bullchit written by some elitist prick.

If a person buys a Jeep, they can do whatever they darn well please to it, It's no one elses's business.

Our tastes may not be the same, but that's what makes us all individuals.
When I read stuff like this it makes me want to take my trail rig out, yank the bumpers, corners, hi lift and steps, have them chromed, and plaster it with decals proclaiming that it's MY Jeep thing and I'll do with it as I dang well please!

I'd like to see what that guy's Jeep looks like and furthermore - I wonder how his living room looks.
10-4 if you shell out the money for the rig make it look any way you want. Its your money its your rig if you don't like chrome don't buy chrome. what kills me is these guys that leave the mud on their rigs ya know Wednesday middle of town hasn't rained in two weeks and there setting in the parking gagage a mud covered jeep. You knoe the guy can pay 30 k for a jeep but not 20.00 for a wash,
 
#53 ·
yet you bash people's "stock jeeps on bicycle tires".....:crash:

My biggest problems with the green jeep is the A pillar mounted rollcage(if you're gonna spend that much on a Jeep...why go that route with the cage), and the testicles. My nuts are big enough My jeep doesn't need any.

Not sure I like the shock mounting. I think there are better options. also don't like my springs being unseated.
 
#20 ·
I agree with most of the points.

The items I take issue with...the "it's a jeep thing, you wouldn't understand" sticker, though I prefer only the fisrt half "it's a jeep thing". Don't see a problem with that, it's kinda like the jeep wave regardless of what you use your jeep for.

The other thing is the bashing of chrome. Many might look at my rig and shake their heads, however, what looks like chrome might not be. My chrome accessories are all STAINLESS. Stainless won't rust and cleans easy...how many of you with std parts or have 'blacked out' their rigs have rust to deal with? Even AEV put stainless on their front bumpers and heat reduction hood (granted, not polished, but it's stainless)

Hans
 
#22 ·
Stainless won't rust and cleans easy...how many of you with std parts or have 'blacked out' their rigs have rust to deal with?
Hans

Watch out, you might get hit for saying you clean your rig... :rofl:
 
#23 ·
Never heard anyone knocking the lightbar before...weird. Use it on the beach and in the dunes all of the time...quite handy...and not too many tree branches to deal with. Snorkels? What, you never did a water crossing? Try the dunes in the winter tough guy. Of course if you jack it up enough you really don't have to worry about it. If you are really worried about horribly uncomfortable tires, maybe you should get a Jeep Compass...maybe that Jeep thing you could understand.
 
#24 ·
I think what the author's main criticisms were directed at people who put all of the off road accessories (Swamp Tires, light bars, etc) on the poser mall crawlers who just want to look the part and is not directed at those who truly off road and have a use for any/all of the mentioned true off road related accessories. As for the bull balls or whatever dangling from the hitch, that's a whole other story and the people who do that have deeper issues imo. The grenades...I'll give you that.

I hate to admit that my Jeep has not really been off road yet so I may be in the poser category. I'm still learning and want to learn the right way. My Jeep is still stock as I am trying to figure out what I need, not just what I think looks cool.
 
#29 ·
My Jeep is stock except for BFG p235 tires and I like it that way. I keep it in the desert and 80% of its use is offroad. It's quite capable, thank you very much.

When I see these silly debates I just smile .... and move on....:D
 
#30 ·
I totally agree w/ Kate. There are so many different things you can buy for a Jeep for a reason. Anyone get and look through a Quadratec catalog? The last one I got was thicker than some of my college textbooks. As a Jeep owner you have the right to do whatever you want. It may make us that like the mud and dirt sad to see a mall crawler but thats their wasted money not ours. I'm thinking of Hurculining my fender flares and roll bars (inside and front bumper is already done) and putting black diamond plate over everything I can. Does that make me a poser?
 
#31 ·
IMO the #1 dumbest thing you can put on a Jeep is an undersized miss-matched spare. I always wonder what they think they're going to do with that donut when one of their 35" M/T's goes flat out in the back country.

Of course I also assume those guys have no idea what the back country is ...

Not to mention how rough it would be on the diff ...
 
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