To each their own but some of the advice is strange.
1. a 4" lift is a big lift particularly on a 2 Dr. If you want to maintain reliability and more expenses down the road stick with a 2.5". It provides plenty of lift for 35" tires. If the event is that important to you then go with 4" lift but it will be expensive in the long if it just a nice thing to do. Go with a quality lift. The taller the higher quality. TF, RE, RK, MC and AEV are some of the best.
2. You flat out don't need a dual stabilizer - that alone proves they don't know what they are talking about
3. This is obviously a road shop. Off road shops do not recommend bigger wheels. 18" tires are not abundant and are more expensive. 20" rims are too vulnerable off road and shorten the tire sidewall too much so you get highly reduced cushioning. Go with 16 or 17" rims.
4. 33 or 35" tires is fine. The BFGs are good tires but there are a lot of great choices depending on how much and what type of off road driving you will do. KM2s, Duratracs, MTR, Coopers, etc,etc are all good choices.
Read the sticky at the top of the forum and search for threads on lift kits and tires. You'll ge the hang of it. It will help you make the right choice for you; not the shop or other owners.