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dumbest salesman lines?

46K views 405 replies 251 participants last post by  Reaper22 
#1 ·
I'm the kind of guy that researches things heavily before going into dealer to look at something. I went into the dealer and looked at a 13 wrangler on the showroom floor. I inquired about the cost of a factory soft top, since this one came only with the hardtop
He said -
"i'm not sure why anyone would want a soft top"
"We don't sell Jeeps that have both tops"

What are some stupid things you have heard from a salesman? Sometimes i want to quit my job and go sell jeeps, cuz every time ive purchased one, the salesman knows considerably less than i do about them. How do you do this daily and not know easy questions about your products?

Other stupid comment was ,"how are you going to afford this?" Well sir, thats between me and the bank, and i wont be buying anything from you i guess.
 
#2 ·
I was with a buddy a few years ago, and we were at a dealership. He was looking to buy something small, economical and fun. We were wandering around the lot, and were approached by a Russian salesman. He showed my friend a little green Honda Del Sol. It had the word "SPORTY!" written across the windshield in bright orange paint, like a lot of dealerships will do. Anyway, the guy just kept telling us how SPORTY! the car was. It was a very SPORTY! model. It was a SPORTY! car. If he wanted something SPORTY!, this was the one. He was rolling the "R" and his Russian accent was super thick. Now, every time I see one of those cars, I here the word "SPORTY!"
 
#3 · (Edited)
A couple years ago I was looking for a Chrysler 300 SRT. The sales manager at my CDJ dealer had a black on black that had been sitting in the lot for a year and a half, that he was trying to unload.

I told him I didn't want black on black. He says: "why don't you come take a look at it anyway; I'll give a GREAT deal." I said "okay. Why the heck not". So I tell my dad to come with me to take a look at it.

We get to the dealer, check with the sales manager, he calls Steve the salesman, and tells him to show us the black Chrysler 300 SRT. As we walk to the car, I tell Steve that black is not my preferred color, but his boss wants me to look at it because he wants to unload it at a good price. He brings the keys, opens the car. It looks stunning! My dad and I sit in it, walk around, look at it. So I ask: "can I take it for a spin?" But the car is behind three other vehicles.

Steve says: "are you going to buy it? I say: "I dont know. I haven't even driven it." Steve replies: "I'm going to have to move three cars to get this one out." I say: "do you expect me to decide to buy a $55,000 car without even driving it first?" He says: "well, you said you don't even like the color." I say: "I guess you are right." So, I turn around I tell my dad: "he doesn't want to move cars." So we just left and went home.

When I stopped by the dealer a couple months later to service my new WHITE Chrysler 300 SRT with red interior, Steve wasn't there anymore.

Aldo
 
#4 ·
When researching my jeep purchase a general manager was trying to convince me how much fun the wrangler is and then told me he drove his personal wrangler from Jacksonville to Daytona on the beach the entire way. Besides being totally illegal with no beach access for most of that trip, it must have had a hell of a snorkel to get through some of the water inlets and a river along the way.
 
#5 ·
A girl I dated was told when she was shopping for a Mini Cooper that they never lose value by the sales manager trying to close the deal. She asked him if she took good care of it and kept it in the garage never driving it would he buy it back from her next year for what he sold to her for. We laughed as we walked out.
 
#6 ·
I was looking for a used jku for my mother a couple years ago .and the local dealer had a 08 steel blue out front for $21k so I stopped to look pulled my jeep right next to it .so im looking at it and noticed it had manual windows and locks but my mother wanted power .in the mean time the salesman starts walking to me and said are you interested.so i said no it doesn't have power locks and windows .and then this is what he said " well you know this particular model is made to get wet" so I looked at him and said well i guess i bought the wrong one pointing at my rubicon thanks anyway
 
#127 ·
Think I know the dealership you are referring to. They also will let someone walk rather than try to make a sale. No negotiating either. They had an 2011 Sahara in Sahara Tan that had been sitting on their lot for almost 18 months, the MY 2013s were about to start rolling onto the lots and they wanted MSRP and wouldn't budge a dollar!:rant:
 
#8 ·
I was looking for an XJ, this was back in 2002 - so there were literally 20 on every lot. If I didn't see anything I was interested in, I would tell a dealer that I wanted a manual, which I had not seen in a 4dr 4.0 combo.

Had one guy drag us across a lot and look at 3 or 4 different one. Ready to walk away, just done shopping for the day

dealer looks at my wife and say "can you talk him into this" are you freakin kidding me.
 
#10 ·
The following conversation happened after the salesman told me there was nothing he could do to improve a competators price
Him: So are you ready to sign some papers?
Me: Um... not yet I still would like to speak to my dad first
Him: What do you need to talk to your dad for?
Me: Well I'd kind of like to get his advise on a few things first, this is my first big purchase
Him: Well what kind of advice are you looking for?
Me: You know, just which the best deal is?
Him: Wouldnt the best deal be the cheapest
Me: Well yea but i might be able to get some one else to throw in a soft top
Him: So you're just going to go back and forth to dealers to get as much as you can eh?
Me: Nope

I stood up and left and went immedietly to the last dealer I was at and placed an order. Seriously? "Why would you need advice from your father first?" Dink
 
#11 ·
i went into my dealer and told them i wanted an automatic with 3.73 gears, which they had none, so they asked why and i said because it will be lifted with bigger tires and the salesman tells me that 3.21 will get just as good of mileage with 35s as the 3.73 gears...needless to say they found me exactly what i was looking for from another dealer a couple hours away and dealer traded it for me.
 
#31 ·
I actually got that same offer ($100 below, not $400, but same line) the Internet sales manager when I was looking for my jeep. I read the email, chuckled and told Mike I probably wouldn't be buying my jeep there because he'd never honor THAT deal. Two days later I sent him my quote for 5% below invoice and he replied back, "Not a problem! When would you be ready to place your order?" and the rest is history. :)

My favorite telephone solicitor story: when I was a teenager and LIVED on the phone, you could tell when a solicitor called because my father had our number listed under the name Czarneczwicz, which wasn't close to our name and IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to pronounce.

Guy calls one night, says he is Sgt. Joe Blow from the PBA:

Guy: May I speak to Mr. Czarneczwicz?
Me: Sorry, he's in jail for killing a telephone solicitor. <hang up>

Guy calls back:
Guy: <exasperated> May I PLEASE speak to Mr. Czarneczwicz?!?
Me: Sorry, I told you he's in jail for killing a telephone solicitor. <hang up>

Phone beeps in a third time:
New guy: This is Colonel DumDum with the PBA. I'd like to speak to your parents. I'm sure they won't appreciate learning how you are playing games on the telephone! Now let me speak to Mr. Cazaneczwicz!
Me: I'm not the one playing games with the telephone. YOU called ME, and you don't even know who you are calling! <hang up>

They didn't call back again... :firedevil:
 
#13 ·
Salesperson: "We've never gone below invoice price. Invoice is the best I can do. We've never sold a Wrangler cheaper than that."

Me: "I have a Tread Lightly membership, so I believe I'm entitled to 1% below invoice"

Salesperson: "What's that? I've never heard of it. We can't offer anything below invoice price"

Sales Manager who overheard: "Yes, we honor that discount."

Salesperson: "Oh, I guess we do. OK, that's the best I can do. I can barely put food on my table at that price"

Me: "Let me talk to a couple more dealerships and I'll get back to you"

Salesperson: "OK, but you're not going to find a better offer"

LOL.

I walked out, went to the next dealership down the street, and talked them down to 3% below invoice, which was good enough for me. Way to lose a sale, rookie.
 
#36 ·
That's exactly the same conversation I had at my local dealer last week. I subsequently went to my preferred dealer (a 30 min drive) and placed an order at 2% below invoice OTD for a Rubicon Hard Rock.

Treating me like I'm an idiot is a really fast way to lose a sale.
 
#14 ·
The Form E-mail

"I just wanted to say thanks again for giving me the opportunity for your business here at (Dealership's name removed) I understand that we were working with you on a Jeep Wrangler, but we were not able to earn your business this time. However, moving forward, I wanted to assure you that if you were to need anything in the future, I am still here to help. If any questions or concerns should arise, please feel free to contact me as I would be more than happy to assist you down the road."

Sincerely,

(Salesman's Name Removed)

P.S. If you know of anyone who is looking for a New or Pre-Owned vehicle, please give them my phone number, (XXX) XXX-XXXX, and have them give me a call directly."

Humm, I purchased the Jeep from them...
 
#16 · (Edited)
I love it when the salesman is trying to convince you to buy ABC vehicle, raving about its quality, how many happy customers own one just like it, how bullet proof it is, etc.

Fast forward to the moment you sit in the finance office, and now the finance guy is trying to sell you an extended warranty, telling you how the transmission/water pump/electrical/etc. on these vehicles have been known to break down, and how expensive they are to repair.

At this point I tell them: "well, if it is going to break down as you say, maybe I shouldn't buy this vehicle." They usually shut up then.

Aldo
 
#17 ·
I wanted a Wrangler but it was to be a work vehicle so I needed to consider other options. I went to a Toyota dealer to look at used Tundras. The salesman showed me several but when I actually sat in the truck my knee hit the dash while I was driving. This was a deal breaker for me since I owned a car that used to hurt my knee in the same place. I explained this and said there was no need to look at these vehicles. They also had a Wrangler on the lot but it was an automatic and I wanted stick.
That evening I saw their Jeep lot had a 4 door stick Wrangler so the following day I called and asked the salesman about it. He said he would bring it over to his lot after lunch so I could look at it. That afternoon he called and said it was too much trouble to bring it from the other lot (less than 2 miles) but he had another Tundra for me to look at. I went to the other lot myself, Drove the Jeep and wrote a check. A few days later the salesman calls to see if I was still interested in the Tundra and got mad because I screwed him on the commission for the Jeep.
 
#19 ·
Many moons ago, my girlfriend at the time took her car to the dealer for a state inspection. The 3rd brake light bulb was out, the service writer told her it would be $300(some where around that amount, I don't remember) because they had to remove the back window to get to the bulb. She refused, and picked the car up. I called and yelled at them (cause I was young and dumb) went to local auto parts store, and for a couple bucks and a few minutes, I popped a new bulb in.
 
#22 ·
Pulled into a Jeep Dealership in my Toyota 4Runner and had the Salesman walk up behind me and say, "You ready to get a Real 4x4?".
I just replied, " No, just stopped by to see if their was a salesman here with a functional brain, guess not".

Must of been related to the guy who approached me when I pulled in with My SS to look at the new Mustang, " Ahh I see you want to get something really fast".
I wonder how long it took the tire smoke to clear his parking lot?

Idiots. If I ever suffer a dibilitating stroke that robs me of higher brain function and possibly the ability to form coherent thoughts - I'll be sure to take up a career in car sales.
 
#26 ·
Pulled into a Jeep Dealership in my Toyota 4Runner and had the Salesman walk up behind me and say, "You ready to get a Real 4x4?". I just replied, " No, just stopped by to see if their was a salesman here with a functional brain, guess not". Must of been related to the guy who approached me when I pulled in with My SS to look at the new Mustang, " Ahh I see you want to get something really fast". I wonder how long it took the tire smoke to clear his parking lot? Idiots. If I ever suffer a dibilitating stroke that robs me of higher brain function and possibly the ability to form coherent thoughts - I'll be sure to take up a career in car sales.
:rofl: :lmao:
 
#27 ·
I've mentioned this in a couple of other threads already, but when I was shopping around for my Willys I contacted about 20 jeep dealerships (strictly email at this point)....the one with the best price wouldn't back off on some add-on called "Auto Guard", which he explained was where they etch your VIN in all the windows as a theft deterrent. I told him no thank you, I don't want that. He replied that it wasn't optional, it's something they add to every vehicle they sell and it's non-negotiable. It's also $495. I reiterated that since the SOFT TOP vehicle I wanted would have only ONE glass window (the windshield), there was no way I was paying almost $500 for their shop to do a 5-minute job to etch one VIN in one piece of glass. He wouldn't back down so I told him, well, you have your principles and I have mine, you know how to reach me if you change your mind. He never did and lost the sale.

Of course, now I understand how he could offer the lowest price. I was very suspicious what other "mandatory" add-ons they'd try to stick me with.
 
#85 ·
The Jeep dealership that my sister bought her Sahara from put that Auto-guard on her windows without telling her or her agreeing to it and then they wanted to charge her the $495 at the last minute when she was signing the papers. I just happened to stop by the dealership when they were reviewing the paperwork. I told them they were either selling her that Jeep with free Auto-guard or she was walking. They kindly gave her the free Auto-guard.
 
#28 ·
I worked at a car lot for several years when I was younger in the detail shop, driving the tow truck and picking up cars etc. and I can tell you that nothing I have read in this thread is a surprise to me. There are a lot of bad salesmen or ladies out there.

When I was doing a delivery one time I needed a signature and I walked into the dealer and there were 3 salesmen standing around and one saleswoman sitting at a desk. I asked her to sign and she asked in a pissy tone if I thought she was the receptionist, I said no I asked you to sign because I assume you work here and you are the only one sitting at a desk with a pen in your hand. All the sales guys laughed but I am sure her eyes bored a hole in my back when I left.
 
#29 · (Edited)
Many moons ago I sold cars at a CDJ dealership.

One night a couple pulls up in their aging Jaguar XJS coupe. She is covered in fur, they walk towards the showroom; I greet them...but they ignore me and walked right by.

It is my "up", so I have to follow them inside. I stand behind as they look at a new Grand Cherokee Orvis sitting in the showroom.

I ask once again how can I help them; she looks at me with total disdain, and continues to ignore me.

At this point I had enough of their arrogance, so I lean forward, and whisper in her ear: "ma'am, you won't find what you are looking for here; these cars won't break down like your Jaguar."

She turns around, looks at me in disbelief, and yells very loud "OH, how insulting!!!"

They storm off, mumble something to my boss who is standing outside, get into their 15 year old Jaguar and take off.

I look at my fellow salesmen, shrug, and say "Well, it seems she heard me this time."

Aldo
 
#30 ·
The first Jeep I test drove the dealer kept messing with the radio. He was playing dance music, hip hop or whatever whereas I would’ve preferred Dead Kennedys or Motörhead. Eventually I had to say, “would you stop that I’m really trying to see how this vehicle runs.” He replied, “Oh I was trying to show you how good the stereo is.”
Yes… that’s exactly why I wanted a Wrangler.
 
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