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Mallcrawler

23K views 185 replies 78 participants last post by  JEEPDON 
#1 ·
Whats a mall crawler? Like a street princess??
 
#9 ·
To qualify for Mallcrawler status, you must have completed two out of seven of these complicated tasks:

- Gone over a Parking Stop in 4wd
- Gone over a Speed Bump faster than 10 MPH
- Parked at the mall by another Jeep
- Told to move by a mall cop
- Have had your door dinged by another vehicle while parked at the mall
- Wave at another Jeep at the mall parking lot
- Imagine how cool it would be to go over that snow bank at the mall

You must then show proof of accomplishments and apply by mail to a real Jeeper. In order to identify a real Jeeper you must find one that owns a Jeep with a snorkel, roof rack, aux gas tank w/tractor jack, and preferably a fake Rubicon decal on the side of the hood.
 
#10 ·
To qualify for Mallcrawler status, you must have completed two out of seven of these complicated tasks:

- Gone over a Parking Stop in 4wd
- Gone over a Speed Bump faster than 10 MPH
- Parked at the mall by another Jeep
- Told to move by a mall cop
- Have had your door dinged by another vehicle while parked at the mall
- Wave at another Jeep at the mall parking lot
- Imagine how cool it would be to go over that snow bank at the mall

You must then show proof of accomplishments and apply by mail to a real Jeeper. In order to identify a real Jeeper you must find one that owns a Jeep with a snorkel, roof rack, aux gas tank w/tractor jack, and preferably a fake Rubicon decal on the side of the hood.

__________________
2014 Unlimited Sport with fake Rubicon sticker Amp'd 6-Speed
Fixed it for you
 
#13 ·
It's exactly what it sounds like. It's any vehicle that looks like it was built for rock crawling but never leaves the pavement. I think it may have started with H2's back in the day. They usually display a gawdy combination of large tires, bumpers, winches, chrome, and lights along with a complete lack of trail rash or any evidence of ever being offroad.

:beerdrinking:
 
#17 ·
It's exactly what it sounds like. It's any vehicle that looks like it was built for rock crawling but never leaves the pavement. I think it may have started with H2's back in the day. They usually display a gawdy combination of large tires, bumpers, winches, chrome, and lights along with a complete lack of trail rash or any evidence of ever being offroad.

:beerdrinking:
That. Also known as poser.

Oh and there is no way any other brand started that thread. Its a jeep thing.
 
#16 ·
i think Mall crawler is just such horrid name..... i understand thats great for a person driving either a JK or JKU that never has the roof off or down and is just dailying it on a regular.

my JKU is slightly modded but has never been taken off road. yet i have neve since owning it in the year i've had it ever been to a mall....

I've taken it bars, drives towards the beaches, and just around really and this time of year the roof is off until May.

Instead of calling them Mall crawlers why don't we just call them On-roaders or jeep cruisers :beerdrinking:
 
#18 ·
I'm forced to go mall crawling with my wife about 2-3 times a year when I need new clothes. The mall ain't that bad guys you can have a coffee buy some new work boots, have a pair of prescription glasses made in 1 hour go use the bank machine have some lunch go buy a few pair of jeans then take the wife to Cabela's and spend the money I took out of the bank machine. You should see how many JKs there are at Cabela's in the super Mall parking lot. You folks that don't go to malls don't know what your missing. lol
 
#32 ·
Every time I read a thread like this I just shake my head. Jeep wouldn't still be producing the wrangler if it wasn't for people who buy them and never go offroad. The % of owners who actually use them for what they are capable of is tiny in comparison to the people who bought them cause of what they are. A 4 door 4wd convertible. The ones that take their jeep off road and rock climbing is a small amount everywhere in the USA but on this forum. I've learned alot on this forum and built myself the perfect little mall cruiser. Wheels, tires, lift, bumpers and off road lights. And if people like me didn't buy all these add-ons there would be a lot less companies producing them.

It's kind of like the guy with the 12 second hot rod that's never been down the track. He's got nothing to prove. Neither do I. I made my jeep look the way I want it to. I don't have to go off road....but I know I can. If you want to show how great of a wheeler you can build make everything custom by yourself like my buddies with their geo trackers do. They can't open up a catalog and order the parts to build their off road toys.
 
#43 ·
Can I be butthurt cuz nobody is calling Sahara's mallcrawlers?
Just follow me to the mall in the place that is famous for not having any hills!!

North Dakota!!! But it is a little chilly right now!

 
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#50 ·
Like the threads where people ask what the biggest tires are they can put on X and not rub. So you tell them you might fit 35s but your articulation will be jack shit. They reply that they never go off road.

In my experience, it is not bad mall crawlers exist, but 9/10 those are the ones that are too cool to wave.
Like, why you waving at ME, you are driving that dirty Jeep?
And hey, your Jeep is puny, I have a lift and 35s.

You want to use your Jeep to go to the country club and starbucks, fine, but don't be smug a-hole about it.
 
#52 ·
Guys,

C'mon! Let's all be truthful and not try to be "Barney Badasses". I would be willing to bet that 95% of all of us use our Jeeps no matter how big and bad they are to "Mall Crawl" and not for their real purpose of being out on the trails. We all use ours to run to the store whenever our wives ask us to. We can all deny this but it is the truth. And think about it, when you go to the mall you do have a very good chance of seeing some pretty good eye candy walking back and forth while waiting for the wife to get what she needs. I will happily take the Jeep "Mall Crawling" to have a chance of seeing some nice sights. Just saying!

King Con
 
#53 ·
C'mon! Let's all be truthful and not try to be "Barney Badasses". I would be willing to bet that 95% of all of us use our Jeeps no matter how big and bad they are to "Mall Crawl" and not for their real purpose of being out on the trails.
Exactly. If it were not for the mall crawler crowd (like me, for instance), the Wrangler line would probably have shut down years ago.

Anywhoo...our Sahara is basically stock and it will be staying that way. The hard top gets removed a total of about 5 days per year. I doubt the doors will ever be removed. Except for one time when I was driving in the snow and thought I was still on the road but was in the dirt (oops) it has never and will never be driven off-road. That was about 10' worth of driving off-road. :D

So, is ours a mall crawler? I don't pretend to be an off-roader with a lift, bigger tires, etc. Absolutely no desire to do so.
 
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