I get home from work this afternoon, get settled in and walk out back of my garage. This is what I find...
First I was perplexed where the sand came from. A little closer inspection and I found the culprit. Surfboard wax.
"Son, that isn't a @##$#@# table. Keep your @#$%% surfboards off my top, or I will shove them up your @## sideways. And clean my @#$$#!@ top."
I don't think I was being harsh. Besides, he's a 23 yr old honorably discharged Army vet. I'm sure he's heard worse.