Mine would be called the Cold, Hard Reality Edition:
You'd pay a minimum of $5,000 extra for the CHR logo, which would be in the shape of a red fist showing it's middle finger.
The Jeep would come with no headlights, and tiny pinholes drilled through the hardtop so it would leak like a colander. Once taken down, the soft top would be impossible to put back up without serious damage. You'd get seven gears, but only be able to use five of them, unless you went with bigger tires, in which case you'd only get three. Owners would have to take the MMPI and both IQ tests (Wechsler, Stanford-Binet) to get a license to alter the Jeep's stock suspension, and then be forced to choose between a 2" lift and a 6" lift. The sat/nav system would require a 23-digit user interface # to turn on, and even then would shut down at random intervals, requiring the 23-digit user interface # to turn it back on. The horn would sound like John Candy laughing, and the Uconnect would dial your cellphone from time to time and, when you answered, say juvenile things like, "Is your refrigerator running?" or, really fast, "aretardedguysayshello?" Oh, and it would only be offered in "10-day-old-parking-lot-bubblegum-gray."
Probably break sales records.