You've hit the problem on the head - everybody's got a different way to detail a vehicle, but all the methods boil down to these steps:
Clean
Polish (remove paint defects by leveling the paint to create shine a shine)
Protect (wax / sealant)
Ten years ago, I bought a new car and read all the detailing forums. Too many products, too many ways to use them and too many claims of huge visible differences in appearance.
I decided the best approach for me was to go with a known brand that offered a complete line of products. At least that way, I'd cut down a lot of questions about which products work well together.
I started out with Meguiar's - They make everything from detailing spray to orbital polishers, plus I attended a few of their Saturday training classes at the Meguiar's HQ in Irvine.
You need to wash your Jeep thoroughly using a car wash soap - no domestic house soaps like dish washing liquid.
Next, put your hand in a plastic bag and run it across the paint. If the bag doesn't slide smoothly and "grabs" the surface you need to get rid of imbedded contaminants in your paint (rail dust, brake dust, etc.) You can't was these off. You use a clay bar for this. Rub the clay bar over the paint after spraying the panel with detailing spray.
The next step is leveling the paint. You do not remove light scratches and swirls, YOU REMOVE OR LEVEL THE PAINT AROUND THE DEFECT using your hand (forget it, don't even think about it) or a machine polisher with a foam pad and polishing compound. The trick is to always use the least aggressive method to remove as little paint as possible. the amount of "cut" is a combination of machine speed (orbits per minute), choice of foam pad, and choice of polishing compound.
Leveling the paint is what produces shine by allowing light to bounce of the surface without being diffracted by swirls and scratches.
The last step is applying a wax/sealant. Although EVERY manufacturer uses different terminology (don't get me started on how Meguiar's uses the word 'polish'), wax usually contains natural carnauba and sealant is man made. Virtually all waxes are sealants and they're sometimes labeled wax because the average Walmart shopper understands the term.
Unlike most of the guys posting on detail forums, I absolutely HATE detailing, but I love the results so I was always looking for products that would let me detail less often. My go to sealant is Finish Kare 1000p High Temp Wax (it's really a 100% man made sealant originally developed for use as a mold release agent by Fred Meguair who started his own car car products company). This is not only only one of the best looking sealants, but it absolutely lasts longer than anything I've ever used in Mojave summer heat and through Rocky Mountain winters..... And that means I have to put it on less often.
I currently use a Meguiar's branded Porter Cable 7424 orbital polisher with Lake County Pads, Meguiar's Professional Mirror Glaze Mild Detailing Clay, Meguiar's Professional Mirror Glaze M80 compound and the aforementioned Finish Kare 1000p High Temp Wax. I have also used Meguiar's Professional Mirror Glaze M21 Synthetic Sealant 2.0 with very good results.
Do yourself a BIG favor and take the time to tape off plastic, rubber, emblems, etc. when using a compound and waxing. It may take a long time, but not nearly as long as removing compound and wax from where it isn't supposed to be.
Also, check out the Meguiar's Detailer Line for products such as window cleaner, all-purpose cleaners, vinyl and plastic protectant, quick interior detailer, car was soap, etc. Gallon sizes at great prices.
Don't be fooled by individual products. A new paint sealant comes out every day. Good looking paint is 98% prep and 2% product. I remember Mike Phillips at Meguiar's ( he's now the director of training at AutoGeek.net) using Meguiar's consumer products to compound and seal half a Corvette hood belonging to a Zaino devote. Guess what looked better?
I also DuraGloss AquaWax every time I was my cars. You mist it on the wet car as you dry and it adds a little bit of protection and shine so you don't wax as often. You can spray it on everything and it takes a few extra seconds.
There is no set period for compounding paint. as long as the surface is glass smooth, you don't have to clay. If you don't see swirls and imperfections, you don't have to compound.
Always wash you car in the shade. For me, that close to sunset (and it's cooler). I think guys who wash their cars or cut their lawns in the middle of a hot day have a screw loose.
P.S.: It's almost impossible to damage paint with a Porter Cable and foam pads. If you're really stupid and maybe if you dipped the pad in sand........
Don't ever buy another black vehicle!