Find a diagram and use it to help with the wiring...the directions are a joke...I understand basic electronics and schematics and their directions had me scratching my head.
Basically what you want to do... run a wire from the battery to the coil on the relay. On the other side of the coil, run a wire from it to the switch, then from the opposite side of the switch to a good ground point.
From there...run a wire from the hot lead of the lights to one side of the "switch" on the relay. Then from the other side of the switch, run a wire from there to the battery. Then ground each light separately to a nearby bolt (grind off any rust and get a good bare metal ground).
Instead of using the switch provided with my kit to power my lights, I tapped off my high beam wire...so whenever my high beams turn on, it kicks my Hella 500's on. The only drawback to this is that I can't run them with my low beams, but if there's any oncoming traffic, you can't run them anyway so I really don't miss out much.
I did keep my switch in there so I can turn the lights off separately...I just can ONLY turn them on with my highbeams.
I'm sure I didn't make that much easier for you to understand, but when you see a basic schematic, it's really quite simple.