Your relay isn't clicking (energizing), at least you can't hear it clicking. The relay is a very basic circuit, it's not as difficult as some think it is... so it's not hard to get working if you take some very basic steps.
There are four main connections on a relay when used for driving lights... two of those energize it, the other two are simply the on-off contacts that turn something on... like your driving lights.
Pins 85 and 86 on the relay are the two leads that when power is applied to them, energize the relay. If those two pins get 12v, the relay will energize. All those two connectors need to energize the relay is a ground and +12v. It doesn't matter which of those two gets ground or the +12, they are not polarity sensitive. If you connect a ground to one of them and +12 to the other, the relay will energize.
Find out which is missing on those two pins, ground or +12v, and you'll find out why the relay is not turning on. Incidentally, those PIN numbers like 85 and 86 are molded onto the bottom of the relay next to connections themselves. Pins 30 and 87 are the on-off connections for the lights.