OK, after trying all of the above and blowing fuses and generally stuff not working, I called an car electronics guy and here goes. The switch is not hot, it controls the ground so if you wire the relays as follows IT WILL WORK!
Terminal 30 to ground, the radio one works great.
Terminal 85 to the outlet from the control switch on dash
Terminal 87 to the fan resister
Terminal 86 to the power source, the add a fuse thing worked great, i used the cig lighter position, this is just control power for the relay.
Again you have use the ground wires like power and power like ground. For all of us mechanical folks that aren't tron jockeys hope this helps. I used the prolink stuff.