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Old 04-05-2013, 11:14 AM   #1
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Female humor

I personally found #1 and 6 to be my favorites

Had to share it...... Lorie


1
He said to me.....I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to him ...... You wear pants don't you?

2
He said to me ............. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said to him ............... That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing

3
He said to me ..... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him ........ Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
4
He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him ......... They don't have time..

5
He said to me..... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him ...... I don't know; it has never happened.

6
He said to me..... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him ....... They already have boyfriends.

7
He said to me.... What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said to him...... A widow.

8
He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him ..... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

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Old 04-05-2013, 12:32 PM   #2
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I love #1

I really love #2

And 3 , 4, 7 & 8

As far as #5, I am the ONLY one to do this in my house!

#6 is always a good one for a laugh

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Old 04-05-2013, 12:36 PM   #3
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#1 haha
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Old 04-05-2013, 01:36 PM   #4
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LOL funny stuff and most are so true!! I thought it was a good "Friday" joke


TGIF!! And I'm goin wheelin'!!!
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Old 04-05-2013, 01:52 PM   #5
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Those are great, had to share with the boss why I was laughing at the computer again

Have a fun and safe trip Lori
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Old 04-05-2013, 02:00 PM   #6
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Those are great, had to share with the boss why I was laughing at the computer again

Have a fun and safe trip Lori
One of my buddies on base in FL. sent it to me. I thought it was funny...maybe most of the guys, not so much I'm sure my close male buddies will have their own "colored" opinions.

And thanks! Can't wait to hit the 85 degree weather; top down, windows and doors off! Tank and a pair of shorts..Summer in Calico!!
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Old 04-05-2013, 02:17 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by I H8RDS View Post
One of my buddies on base in FL. sent it to me. I thought it was funny...maybe most of the guys, not so much I'm sure my close male buddies will have their own "colored" opinions.

And thanks! Can't wait to hit the 85 degree weather; top down, windows and doors off! Tank and a pair of shorts..Summer in Calico!!

Hell, Summer anywhere right now. I'm so sick of being cold
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:13 PM   #8
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I like number 4. It should say, she said this isn't a race, and he replied, yes it is, and you're losing. Lol.
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:24 PM   #9
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I think they are all funny and I got a good chuckle from them but 1, 2 and 6 are the winners.
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Old 04-05-2013, 08:34 PM   #10
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They all made me laugh.
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Old 04-06-2013, 12:21 AM   #11
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I agree,there all good!
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:26 AM   #12
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Hilarious. Thank you
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Old 04-10-2013, 12:45 PM   #13
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Maybe qualifies for posting on the Frig? At least the spare freezer in the garage?

Good stuff!
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Old 04-24-2013, 06:32 PM   #14
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how many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

4.



one to do it, and 3 for him to brag to about screwing something
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:54 AM   #15
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I likes # 8 that was funny
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Old 04-27-2013, 11:56 AM   #16
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I likes # 8 that was funny
#1 is my favorite. Lol
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Old 04-27-2013, 01:39 PM   #17
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You have to add to this and make it grow.
So here is my addition. It came from my Ex.

Women have many faults
Men have only two
Everything they say
and
everything they do.
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Old 04-27-2013, 02:06 PM   #18
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I don't think there's ever been a more acurate statement.
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Old 04-27-2013, 02:17 PM   #19
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I don't think there's ever been a more accurate statement.

You must be an English major?
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Old 04-27-2013, 02:24 PM   #20
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I'm a major in a lot of things!

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Old 04-27-2013, 02:30 PM   #21
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I'm a major in a lot of things!

I'll take that as a yes, Thanks I H8RDS.
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Old 04-27-2013, 02:42 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gunner View Post
You have to add to this and make it grow.
So here is my addition. It came from my Ex.

Women have many faults
Men have only two
Everything they say
and
everything they do.
Pretty good reason to make her an ex. Lol
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Old 04-27-2013, 04:53 PM   #23
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Glad I'm not the only one with a crazy ex. Mine had this weird fetish, she'd dress up as herself and act like a b!@%h
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:02 PM   #24
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Ohhh, all ex's are crazy. And all exes are ex's for a reason.
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:23 PM   #25
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Some are crazier than others. But yeah. Lol
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Old 04-30-2013, 01:15 PM   #26
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Not female unless the attorney is.

From a court reporter:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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Old 04-30-2013, 03:50 PM   #27
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Tru Dat!

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