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Old 01-12-2008, 06:38 PM   #1
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13 Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in houseware," and see what happens.

5. Put some M&M's on lay away.

6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone."

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'

11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

12. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

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Old 01-12-2008, 06:46 PM   #2
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I'm gonna try that crying one next time I go

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Old 01-12-2008, 07:38 PM   #3
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I tried some of these before. A guy there the other day was really creepy. I asked for the baby wipes and he said, "I'm fine! How are you?" I said, "I'm ok..." Again he repeats, "I'm fine! How are you?" and I just stared at me. True story happened last week.
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Old 01-12-2008, 07:50 PM   #4
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Dude, you don't even talk to anyone unless you know them at Wal-Mart.
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Old 01-12-2008, 08:42 PM   #5
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What's a Wal-Mart?
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Old 01-13-2008, 07:12 PM   #6
Really?

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Originally Posted by woody_k View Post
What's a Wal-Mart?
Really?! You don't know?!

Ok... Well, as near as I can tell the "Wal-Mart" is where you can go to see rednecks in their natural habitat.

Just know that you should take precautions!
*DO NOT make eye contact! They will eat your soul!
*Never feed them!
*Keep your hands firmly on the cart handle at all times!
*Never ask for assistance!
*Beware of turning corners or crossing isles! Getting hit my a cart can be deadly!
*Never go to the "Self Check Out" registers! They never work anyway, and the toad with 2 teeth and a lazy eye will roll her eyes and make a sigh of disgust when she has to come over to clear it. Because we all know she left her job at Apple to work at wally world!
*If you can, get a ride to Wal-Mart. Have the driver stay with the car so a speady get away can be made.
*If you HAVE to park there. Park on the hill away from the free wheeling carts! But beware! The parking lot at the Wal-Mart is also used for NASCAR Wannabe qualifications. So look out for speeding pickup trucks with gun racks and number 3 stickers!
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Old 01-13-2008, 09:01 PM   #7
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went to wally world with the gf tonight.
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Old 01-13-2008, 10:16 PM   #8
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already done a couple of these...
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Old 01-15-2008, 12:17 AM   #9
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<<filtered>> Oh dang! I can't respond due to my New Year's filter!

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