1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt road."
I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No
matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust
on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why
they smell funny to you. They smell like money to
Get over it. Don't like it? I-74 goes East and
West, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We
have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are
driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in Indiana waves. It's
called being friendly. Try to understand the
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point
buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out
of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up
to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat catfish & chicken livers.
You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at
the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer
season. It's a religious holiday held the closest
Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all
women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu.
Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and
pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main
dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three
spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We
don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that
stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be
brown, wet and served over ice.
14. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better
be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have
15. College and High School Football is as
important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a
dang site more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the
water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State
Universities, Community Colleges, and Vo-techs.
They come outta there with an education plus a
love for God and country, and they still wave at
everybody when they come home for the holidays.
18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army,
Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with
us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That
thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't
want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
boxers. Refer back to #1.
20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry.
Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take
all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery
stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to
live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with
snow blades will have you out the next day.
A true Hoosier will send this on!!!
on a quite night you can hear a hummer rust in the mud, and the driver crying when a jeep is pulling him out.
Another Hoosier here. I love the list. I especially like #6. We all know about the Jeep wave, but where I live just about everyone waives at you. It doesn't even matter what you drive. About #3, I live on a dirt road, but not by choice. It was paved up until a year ago.
Don't even know for sure what the heck a "Hoosier" is. I've seen it on a DVD, (did'nt watch it) and I've seen it on tires. But, except for #20, it works here, too! (If we get 4" of snow/sleet, the world is shut down, I get to drag people out of ditches! )
That is true. I may be a floridiot now but I was born and will always be a Hoosier. Change #20 to a tropical storm or the start of Hurricane season and it applies here. People will buy everything if you tell them they will have to go a day without.
Well said and I live in Lafayette so every year we get the new students to purdue and the onse form out of state and drive their imports and then we get to pull them out because they can't drive in just 2 in of snow. they aslo think they can handle their beer or what ever. I guess that is job securty for me.
Had a 04 wrangler sport Auto 4.0 w/ lod rear bumper w/ tire carrier, 2" rusty's lift, custom front bumper, air craft landing lights on front and 32" cooper discovery stt
Had a 2011 sport.
Now I have a 2006 X