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Old 10-28-2008, 10:41 PM   #1
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ANYTHING(!) else...

I'm so tired of all the political nonsense...

give me a different topic...ANYTHING will do!

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Obama -> The Presidency to Nowhere
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:45 PM   #2
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:51 PM   #3
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:03 PM   #4
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This "Monkey swapping" you speak of sir is ILLEGAL in 42 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and American Somoa. Also condemmed by the United Nations and just plain wrong.

Oh, wait...SWAPPING...I get it...

Sorry I can't help on the original post...I stopped reading that 2 days ago...Not gonna go look now either!
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:12 PM   #5
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This "Monkey swapping" you speak of sir is ILLEGAL in 42 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and American Somoa. Also condemmed by the United Nations and just plain wrong.

Oh, wait...SWAPPING...I get it...

Sorry I can't help on the original post...I stopped reading that 2 days ago...Not gonna go look now either!
I don't share my monkey with anyone.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:12 PM   #6
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Uranus' orbital axis is tilted at 90 degrees.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:14 PM   #7
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Uranus' orbital axis is tilted at 90 degrees.
OW!!! That sounds painful!
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:14 PM   #8
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NO ONE is tilting my anus!!!
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:15 PM   #9
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Guinea pigs and rabbits can't sweat.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:16 PM   #10
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Uranus' orbital axis is tilted at 90 degrees.
Well, if it's yours, can't you tilt it back?
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:17 PM   #11
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Guinea pigs and rabbits can't sweat.
They wouldn't fit either.

Don't ask me how I know this.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:19 PM   #12
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There is an average of 50,000 spiders per acre in green areas.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:22 PM   #13
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9 out of 10 dentists who chew gum prefer Trident... The 10th dentist likes to dress like a woman and hang out in seedy night clubs.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:24 PM   #14
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Man, this is like a Cliff Claven thread.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:28 PM   #15
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Most household deaths occur in the bathroom.

Someday, maybe they will finally prosecute those at Taco Bell who are responsible.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:29 PM   #16
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Man, this is like a Cliff Claven thread.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:31 PM   #17
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The pen is mightier than the sword... But, only if it's jammed into the eye socket correctly.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:35 PM   #18
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Cliffisms

Cliff Claven "Cliff-isms" - On the sitcom CHEERS/NBC/1982-93 John Ratzenberger played the verbose know-it-all postal worker Cliff Claven. Some examples of Cliff's veritable cornucopia of wisdom:

They did a study comparing postal workers to chimpanzees. They proved chimps were 32% slower. Of course, they were better with public relations.

There's no rule against postal worker dating women; it just works out that way.

It's a little-known fact that the smartest animal is the pig. Scientists say if pigs had thumbs and a language, they could be trained to do simple manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service, and at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.

Due to the shape of the North American elk's esophagus, even if it could speak, it could not pronounce the word lasagna.

Basketball was invented by the Celtics. Interestingly enough, so was the parquet floor.

It's a little known fact that cows were domesticated in Mesopotamia and were also used in China as guard animals for the Forbidden City.

A Freudian slip is saying one thing and meaning a mother.

I wonder if you know that the harp is a predecessor of the modern day guitar. Early minstrels were much larger people. In fact, they had hands the size of small dogs.

Everyone is the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army Knife. That's why no one messes with Switzerland.

If you were to go back in history and take every president, you'll find that the numerical value of each letter in their name was equally divisible into the year in which they were elected. By my calculations, our next president has to be named Yellnick McWawa.

If memory serves, the umbilical chord is 90% potassium.

It's a little known fact that the tan became popular in what is known as the Bronze Age.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:45 PM   #19
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NO ONE is tilting my anus!!!
Too Late...It's already done. Just check.
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Old 10-29-2008, 08:10 AM   #20
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uh... how about those Mets... I mean Philly's...yeah Philly's.
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Old 10-29-2008, 08:54 AM   #21
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I miss my Horny Toad tags, although I was never a fan of TCU.
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Old 10-29-2008, 09:27 AM   #22
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Chocolate affects a dogs heart & nervous system. A small amount of chocolate is enough to kill a small dog. Conversely, a small amount of chocolate at the right "time" is enough to save a mans life.
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Old 10-29-2008, 09:38 AM   #23
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The Buffalo Theory

Says Cliff, " Well you see, Norm, it's like this....A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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I'm not gonna go over that......

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Old 10-29-2008, 10:26 AM   #24
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Is it working, Rocky?
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Old 10-29-2008, 11:55 AM   #25
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The Buffalo Theory

Says Cliff, " Well you see, Norm, it's like this....A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Wait a minute...I thought UC Berkely said recently that brain cells grow back...

God I hope so....
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Old 10-29-2008, 01:15 PM   #26
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Here's a nice change for ya.

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Old 10-29-2008, 04:19 PM   #27
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Tornadoes dont purposely hit trailer parks.
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Old 10-29-2008, 04:24 PM   #28
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tornadoes ONLY hit trailer parks.
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Old 10-29-2008, 04:25 PM   #29
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and god help all of the truck drivers that deliver 'em in kansas!!
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Old 10-29-2008, 06:32 PM   #30
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Tornadoes dont purposely hit trailer parks.
Yes they do.

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