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Old 01-26-2014, 06:04 PM   #1
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Blinker fluid?

What's your favorite way to mess with people that know NOTHING about vehicles

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Old 01-26-2014, 08:04 PM   #2
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I worked in an auto parts store in the mid 80's. People used to mess with folks and send them in after stuff like, muffler bearings and hubcap gaskets, then we'd have to explain.
We used to call our rival store (this was before caller ID) and ask for a modulator valve for a Chrysler 904 (or 727) torqueflite transmission. That sounds right to the lay-person, BUT, Chrysler torqueflites did not have modulator valves...parts guys should have know that.

That being said, I work a class 8 truck assembly plant (semi's). We like to send new guys for spark plugs, brake fluid and before we quit making them in our plant, C.O.E. (cab over engine) hoods.
My all time favorite is sending someone for id10t bolts. (write it in caps if you don't see it)

We also had a material handler call his supervisor and tell him he knocked over a 55 gallon drum of sailboat fuel inside one of the trailers on the loading dock. The supervisor was wanting to call the emergency spill team...BWAHAHAHA

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Old 01-26-2014, 08:10 PM   #3
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Piston return springs

And the famous, you need a new 710 cap. ( flip 710 upside down.)
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Old 01-27-2014, 07:07 PM   #4
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Something funny happened to me years ago. My friends on the Shop where we worked our Jeeps and Racecars, were replacing a leaky radiator from a car, and put the old unit on the grass in the path we used to go to the shop, which was muddy from rain, and we used to put stuff along the path to avoid getting our shoes dirty. Well, they intentionally put the bad radiator in the path, and waited for someone to walk to the shop and step on it. Guess I was that "lucky" one, they acted like they were very upset from me bending the broken ( scrap ) radiator and picked on me so much that I took off and went to the AutoParts Store and got them a brand new one, yeap, you bet, when I brought the new unit, they started laughing like crazy and then told me it was just a joke. To this day they still joke about that. You know, one of those Shop Stories.
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Old 01-27-2014, 07:22 PM   #5
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Don't worry about a flat tire, if it is only flat on one side..........
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Old 01-27-2014, 07:39 PM   #6
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If your battery is weak, lift it higher and the electrons will flow down by gravity.
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Old 01-27-2014, 07:49 PM   #7
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i worked in the service dept at a stealership,,,a guy walked in claiming to be a great diesle mech. told him if he would just replace the spark plugs on a diesle truck we would give him the job......well after about 30minutes he came over and said that he had never worked on that model and he didnt know where they were...lol

gave him a job cleaning up...he actually became a great diesle mechanic..
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Old 01-28-2014, 08:06 AM   #8
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Old 01-28-2014, 09:32 AM   #9
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On my ship, we would send newbies up to the bridge for relative bearing grease.
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Old 01-28-2014, 09:38 AM   #10
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Years back on the ships, it was make the new guy get a bucket of steam from the chief engineer
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Old 01-28-2014, 04:09 PM   #11
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If your battery is weak, lift it higher and the electrons will flow down by gravity.
Homotrons. Little faggot electrons that run around causing problems
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Old 01-28-2014, 04:14 PM   #12
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Since my Wrangler will be not used for a while, then it needs to be Moth Balled.......
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Old 01-29-2014, 07:30 AM   #13
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Ask them if the "ID 10 T" light came on...
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Old 01-29-2014, 10:28 AM   #14
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Old stuff.

Air Force guys were told to get a couple of yards of flight line.

If you were in the Navy you needed to find a gallon of prop wash.

You can always ask for a radiator cap for a Volkswagen beetle.

During college I worked as a gas jockey, guy pulled in and he had a cracked taillight lens. It leaked, and was half full of water. I showed it to him and said “Your blinker fluid is low.” He wanted it filled, sorry we don’t have any, you needs to go to an auto store. He thanked me for pointing it out to him.
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Old 01-29-2014, 11:01 AM   #15
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Sometimes tell new kids to autos that the summer air in the tires needs to be changed to winter air, and vice versa. One kid went to a tire shop and insisted they change the air out. Charged him $25 to put the car on a hoist.

As a retired Air Force E-6, we did all kinds of things to newbs. Sent one into the tool shop for a "ball bearing checking fixture." Sent others out to do echo checks on the jet engines, etc.
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Old 01-29-2014, 12:56 PM   #16
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Exhaust samples.
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Old 01-29-2014, 01:06 PM   #17
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In the army we would send the newbs out for a cable stretcher! This stuff never gets old!
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Old 01-29-2014, 01:09 PM   #18
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In the Army, we used to tell the new Privates to go get a box of grid squares or, go find the keys to the drop zone.

My favorite was when we worked in a Comm center. This was the mid 90's so almost everything was done VIA the Internet by now.
Anyway, I had a spray bottle of this creamy looking cleaner stuff that I had gotten from the motor pool. It was a degreaser and I was using it to clean after we moved several outdated IBM servers out.
I ran out and, I yelled to my buddy Wes "Hey, it's empty".
Well, we had a SSG who was not too bright.
She looked and asked what was in the bottle.
Wes did not miss a beat. "It's frequency grease. We spray it in the servers to make them run faster."
She insisted we fill out the req for more.
So, we found the A/N book and started looking.
We found a turret for an M1A1 Abrams, filled out the part number and, under name, we called it: Grease; Frequency
She signed it and handed it off to our Cheif Warrent Officer.
Five minutes later, we were in his office laughing our asses off as he told us to stop messing with her.
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Old 01-29-2014, 01:11 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by digitalbill View Post
In the Army, we used to tell the new Privates to go get a box of grid squares or, go find the keys to the drop zone.

My favorite was when we worked in a Comm center. This was the mid 90's so almost everything was done VIA the Internet by now.
Anyway, I had a spray bottle of this creamy looking cleaner stuff that I had gotten from the motor pool. It was a degreaser and I was using it to clean after we moved several outdated IBM servers out.
I ran out and, I yelled to my buddy Wes "Hey, it's empty".
Well, we had a SSG who was not too bright.
She looked and asked what was in the bottle.
Wes did not miss a beat. "It's frequency grease. We spray it in the servers to make them run faster."
She insisted we fill out the req for more.
So, we found the A/N book and started looking.
We found a turret for an M1A1 Abrams, filled out the part number and, under name, we called it: Grease; Frequency
She signed it and handed it off to our Cheif Warrent Officer.
Five minutes later, we were in his office laughing our asses off as he told us to stop messing with her.
Awesome!
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Old 01-29-2014, 01:11 PM   #20
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After having his flat tire repaired I asked my niece's idiot husband (Rickey) if the repair shop had used the proper pneumatic fluid in the tire to help ensure the repair would last. Before I could stop him he was on the phone with the tire shop!
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Old 01-29-2014, 02:59 PM   #21
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I just got out of high school and i went to a tech high school for diesel we had one kid that was a jack ass we told him to use spray paint on trucks u have to shake the cans till the ball went away he was standing in the the middle of the shop for like 2 hours doing it also the teacher played along to it was good he alway went out to other shops for left handed ratchets ,buckets of steam, Blinker fluid it never got old and he never figured it out
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Old 01-29-2014, 08:09 PM   #22
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On the USAF side I once sent a young airman after a set of Fallopian tubes for an F-15. He got passed around to a lot of places before he ended up in Lt Barbara W.'s office and all I could hear was her screaming for me to get in to her office!
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Old 01-30-2014, 10:50 AM   #23
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A lady walks into a garage and the mechanic asks her if she wants her tires rotated.
She says, "Why? I rotate them everytime I drive it."
Then he asks if she wants them balanced.
She says, "They all look the same size to me"

If it doesn't drive smooth, ya just gotta replace the 'high-speed bumper bolts' and if it gets a rattle in it, you'll definitely need to look at replacing the 'muffler bearings'.

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Old 01-30-2014, 11:08 AM   #24
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Quote:
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On the USAF side I once sent a young airman after a set of Fallopian tubes for an F-15. He got passed around to a lot of places before he ended up in Lt Barbara W.'s office and all I could hear was her screaming for me to get in to her office!
That's classic!
I was a back shop avionics tech on the F-15, and I wasn't aware the F-15 had such specialized parts. LOL!
We did go through several thousand gallons of jet-wash though.

As far as on the car side of these jokes, there used to be a website that had a bunch of this stuff listed as though it was real automotive merchandise.
Hey! It's still there! LOL!

http://kalecoauto.com/

I think the performance section is the funniest.
Cross drilled brake lines? LOL!
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Old 01-30-2014, 01:17 PM   #25
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One day we were talking in front of a store, and a man on a car pulled in front of us and asked us for help, his car was running really rough. We opened the hood and saw the engine cooking, heat-smoke everywhere, and we decided to check its fluids, we found the engine had no oil on the stick, so we told him to go and get oil, and he asked us; " Does not the car comes with oil from the factory " ? So we asked him if he ever changed the oil on it, and he said he did not know he had to.
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Old 01-30-2014, 01:23 PM   #26
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Rusty I worked Avionics on the Navy, and I did see, with this two eyes of mine, a couple of times, the infamous joke that is regarded as just a joke in some aviation joke books; " IFF does not work in OFF position " . To this date I still can`t believe it myself, maybe it was a joke from the pilots, but I saw it on real Work-orders from actual pilots. Perhaps it was a way to avoid flying that day !!!!
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Old 01-30-2014, 01:32 PM   #27
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Rusty I worked Avionics on the Navy, and I did see, with this two eyes of mine, a couple of times, the infamous joke that is regarded as just a joke in some aviation joke books; " IFF does not work in OFF position " . To this date I still can`t believe it myself, maybe it was a joke from the pilots, but I saw it on real Work-orders from actual pilots. Perhaps it was a way to avoid flying that day !!!!
Yeah, we had that come through the shop a couple of times.
We still tested the unit (which always tested good), but usually put something like, "Operates per specifications in OFF mode" on the serviceable tag. LOL!
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Old 01-30-2014, 02:01 PM   #28
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Bad news.....

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Exhaust samples.
I did this one ALL the time...... it is NOT fake.......EPA guide lines.....

NOX and CO.....
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Old 01-30-2014, 02:06 PM   #29
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In the Navy...... we would send "squeakers" after "bulkhead remover" and they would be gone for HOURS because everyone was in on it.

Also....."fuse fixer"

Also...."sea bat"......

bucket of steam to prime the turbine.

can of electrons to excite generator...
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Old 01-30-2014, 02:28 PM   #30
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Once on the farm, we had an intern attempting to cultivate the field with an old IH 265 (4 cyl diesel) He was running the cultivators pretty deep and rpm's were low so he kept stalling it. I told him to try advancing the spark!

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