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Old 08-06-2008, 12:53 PM   #1
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Can anyone here "spin a yarn"

I've been meaning to but given my past I have been holding back.

Not a troll just a yarn/ maybe an exageration of your real life events that would be interesting.

while important, threads like "they stole my sh1t" or "I went to the beach".....do get somewhat tiresome.

I wanna hear a story and let the rest of the board figure out if its BS or not.


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Old 08-06-2008, 01:02 PM   #2
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I save my creative writing for avenues that I might actually get paid.

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Old 08-06-2008, 01:07 PM   #3
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I save my creative writing for avenues that I might actually get paid.
how did I know you'd be the first to post?


certainly there has been a beach adventure that you have been holding back because its just not quite fit to post.

show me an example of your creative writing skills based on a true life situation.


if you follow through, this could be interesting

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Old 08-06-2008, 01:18 PM   #4
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But see, if I posted it up now, people would know that I'm fibbing. But when I posted that my son had wrecked my jeep... that was fun.

http://www.wranglerforum.com/off-top...ight-7004.html


Oh and this one....

http://www.wranglerforum.com/off-top...aby-17222.html
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Old 08-06-2008, 01:26 PM   #5
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But see, if I posted it up now, people would know that I'm fibbing. But when I posted that my son had wrecked my jeep... that was fun.
but see , nothing.

spin a yarn, tell a story, ect, ect. this was a request, not a argument meant for debate.

you should have the skillz, more than most here.

GO!
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Old 08-06-2008, 01:46 PM   #6
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This is the story of the quest for the perfect Margarita.

It was late Friday afternoon and I had just left work. It had been a truly horrible day. One of my systems had crashed because of a stupid data base administrator who had “accidentally” deleted a database. While trying to restore it, we found out that the back-up process had stopped working months ago and all we had was a bunch of blank back-up tapes. I spent the better part of the day doing my best to reconstruct the file. I wasn’t even supposed to be in the office that day, it was my normal Friday off. I was supposed to be camping at the beach, I was supposed to be sitting in my chair at the top of the bluff overlooking the ocean, I was supposed to be drinking large quantities of Margaritas and watching the sun set. Instead, I was sitting in traffic moving 5 miles per hour. The radio was playing Jimmy Buffett, who was singing about Margaritaville. I was hating life and developing a craving.

We had canceled the beach trip because my wife had just started back to school and had a major team project due the following Monday. I switched my Friday off for the next week and had gone to work hoping for an easy day. As I pulled into the driveway, it hit me that my wife was meeting with her learning team until 10:00pm. The kids were all off doing their own things and I was alone. The thought of drinking myself into oblivion crossed my mind as I walked to the front door. As I got out my keys to unlock the door, I looked down and saw the answer to my quandary, my friend Jim had dropped off a large bag of grapefruit from his orchard on his way out of town. Right then I decided I was going to have a white grapefruit margarita! I could taste it before I got the door open, it would be heaven! My day got instantly better!

At this point, I think I need to back up a little and give you a bit of history: About a year earlier, I was sitting with my friend Jim having a beer and looking at the concrete footings and 2x4 framed walls that would one day be his home. Jim and his family were living in a trailer at the edge of the three acre organic grapefruit grove he had purchased to build a house on. We were sitting on a makeshift deck next to a pile of burning scrap lumber and watching the sun go down. The wives walked up with their hands full of grapefruit and one of them said “I bet you could come up with a recipe for grapefruit margaritas.” I said that I didn’t think so as I pealed one of the grapefruit. I ate a section of the fruit and was amazed! These things were wonderful! I started thinking of what we could mix together to come up with a good cocktail. What followed was six months of Saturdays working on the house during the day and then spending hours mixing various combinations of juice and alcohol looking for the perfect grapefruit margarita recipe.

Then one night we found it. It was perfect. The flavor was incredible. Not too sweet, enough bite to know you got bit, but mellow enough that you could drink them all night long. They were made in a shaker full of ice from fresh squeezed white organic grapefruit juice, roses lime juice, chilled Sauza Hornitos, chilled Patron Silver, triple sec, and Grand Marnier, shaken and poured neat into a margarita glass rimmed with fine white sugar.

Ok, back to the story…. I dropped my briefcase by the front door and put some Jimmy Buffet on the stereo. Grabbed two of the organic white grapefruit out of the bag and went over to the bar. I sliced one in half and got my favorite Margarita glass out of the cupboard. I moistened the rim of the glass with the grapefruit, coated it with fine white sugar and set it aside. I got out the juicer and squeezed the two halves of the grapefruit into the shaker over ice. I added the Rose’s lime juice and headed to the garage freezer to get the Hornitos and the Patron. Much to my horror, there was no Patron in the freezer. I figured the last time I used it, I must have put it back in the bar instead of the freezer. I went back into the house and tore the bar apart looking for it, but it just wasn’t there. Against all hope, I looked in the kitchen freezer. Nope, it wasn’t there either.

The next thing I did was call my oldest son. I asked him if he knew where the bottle of Patron Silver was. Long silence….. “Oh, about that” he says, “We killed it last weekend, that stuff was really good! I meant to replace it. Don’t worry, I’ll buy you a new bottle tomorrow when I get off work. Sorry about that!” I yelled into the phone “What!!!! You know the rules! If you drink my alcohol, you replace it” He said “Dad! Chill, I’ll take care of it tomorrow when I get off.” I said fine and hung up the phone. (Note to self: have lock installed on garage freezer.)

So there I was with a major jones for an organic white grapefruit margarita and no Patron Silver in the house. At this point, a reasonable man would have just used something else and not worried about it. However, I’m rarely called reasonable and I had a major craving going on. I was possessed! I had to have an organic white grapefruit margarita and I had to have it now! Nothing was going to stop me; I was in way to deep.

I jumped into the Jeep and headed down to the local grocery store. I walked to the liquor department to get a bottle of Patron. They had only one bottle left and it was in the locked display cabinet. The clerk told me that they couldn’t sell that one because they had lost the keys to the cabinet. I tracked down the store manager and he said the same thing and then said “Sorry, we’ll have more tomorrow.” I suggested breaking the glass on the display cabinet and he suggested that he would call the police if I did. Rat Bastard! He just didn’t understand. So I walk to the drug store at the other end of the shopping center. They are expensive, but usually have a good selection. They were out as well. They had other quality white tequilas, but I wanted Patron. Obsession was setting in; I walk back to the Jeep thinking of other places to go.

Three grocery stores and a liquor store later, I was still empty handed. I had exhausted all the places that I thought might have Patron. Once again, a reasonable man would have just used something else, but at this point, I was not a reasonable man. Then it hit me, my friend Jim had a fresh bottle of white Patron in his bar and he was out of town for the next week. I went home and got the key to his house out in the wine country. It was now nine o’clock and I figured I had time to drive out to his house in the wine country, get some Patron and beat my wife back home. I got to Jim’s house and there it was sitting on the bar like I remembered. I rummaged around his pantry and found a small jar and poured about six ounces of the clear liquid into it. Things were coming together now, I was feeling like everything was going to be Ok.

I got home and found that I had forgotten to turn on the porch light when I left earlier. It was very dark on the porch and I couldn’t see the lock on the door. I fumbled around for a few minutes trying to get the key in the lock, all the while thinking about nothing else but the taste of an organic white grapefruit margarita. I finally got the door unlocked and as I was reaching for the light I tripped over the bag of grapefruit, the thing that started this whole mess in the first place. At this point, everything went into slow motion: I watched the jar of Patron that I had worked so hard to procure float through the air as I crashed to the ground. It seemed to hang there forever, then it crashed onto the newly tiled floor and the glass jar shattered into a million pieces. The noise was deafening. I sat on the floor for a few minutes rubbing my head and thinking about the madness that had taken place in the previous few hours. I told myself how stupid I had been and decided that I would just make the stupid margarita without the Patron.

I stood up and decided to deal with the mess on the entryway floor later. I walked over to the bar and there, where I had left my margarita glass earlier that evening, was Mac (the devil cat) sitting in a puddle of sticky grapefruit juice looking down at the margarita glass shattered on the floor. I started to cry……..
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Old 08-06-2008, 01:52 PM   #7
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This is the story of the quest for the perfect Margarita.

It was late Friday afternoon and I had just left work. It had been a truly horrible day. One of my systems had crashed because of a stupid data base administrator who had “accidentally” deleted a database. While trying to restore it, we found out that the back-up process had stopped working months ago and all we had was a bunch of blank back-up tapes. I spent the better part of the day doing my best to reconstruct the file. I wasn’t even supposed to be in the office that day, it was my normal Friday off. I was supposed to be camping at the beach, I was supposed to be sitting in my chair at the top of the bluff overlooking the ocean, I was supposed to be drinking large quantities of Margaritas and watching the sun set. Instead, I was sitting in traffic moving 5 miles per hour. The radio was playing Jimmy Buffett, who was singing about Margaritaville. I was hating life and developing a craving.

We had canceled the beach trip because my wife had just started back to school and had a major team project due the following Monday. I switched my Friday off for the next week and had gone to work hoping for an easy day. As I pulled into the driveway, it hit me that my wife was meeting with her learning team until 10:00pm. The kids were all off doing their own things and I was alone. The thought of drinking myself into oblivion crossed my mind as I walked to the front door. As I got out my keys to unlock the door, I looked down and saw the answer to my quandary, my friend Jim had dropped off a large bag of grapefruit from his orchard on his way out of town. Right then I decided I was going to have a white grapefruit margarita! I could taste it before I got the door open, it would be heaven! My day got instantly better!

At this point, I think I need to back up a little and give you a bit of history: About a year earlier, I was sitting with my friend Jim having a beer and looking at the concrete footings and 2x4 framed walls that would one day be his home. Jim and his family were living in a trailer at the edge of the three acre organic grapefruit grove he had purchased to build a house on. We were sitting on a makeshift deck next to a pile of burning scrap lumber and watching the sun go down. The wives walked up with their hands full of grapefruit and one of them said “I bet you could come up with a recipe for grapefruit margaritas.” I said that I didn’t think so as I pealed one of the grapefruit. I ate a section of the fruit and was amazed! These things were wonderful! I started thinking of what we could mix together to come up with a good cocktail. What followed was six months of Saturdays working on the house during the day and then spending hours mixing various combinations of juice and alcohol looking for the perfect grapefruit margarita recipe.

Then one night we found it. It was perfect. The flavor was incredible. Not too sweet, enough bite to know you got bit, but mellow enough that you could drink them all night long. They were made in a shaker full of ice from fresh squeezed white organic grapefruit juice, roses lime juice, chilled Sauza Hornitos, chilled Patron Silver, triple sec, and Grand Marnier, shaken and poured neat into a margarita glass rimmed with fine white sugar.

Ok, back to the story…. I dropped my briefcase by the front door and put some Jimmy Buffet on the stereo. Grabbed two of the organic white grapefruit out of the bag and went over to the bar. I sliced one in half and got my favorite Margarita glass out of the cupboard. I moistened the rim of the glass with the grapefruit, coated it with fine white sugar and set it aside. I got out the juicer and squeezed the two halves of the grapefruit into the shaker over ice. I added the Rose’s lime juice and headed to the garage freezer to get the Hornitos and the Patron. Much to my horror, there was no Patron in the freezer. I figured the last time I used it, I must have put it back in the bar instead of the freezer. I went back into the house and tore the bar apart looking for it, but it just wasn’t there. Against all hope, I looked in the kitchen freezer. Nope, it wasn’t there either.

The next thing I did was call my oldest son. I asked him if he knew where the bottle of Patron Silver was. Long silence….. “Oh, about that” he says, “We killed it last weekend, that stuff was really good! I meant to replace it. Don’t worry, I’ll buy you a new bottle tomorrow when I get off work. Sorry about that!” I yelled into the phone “What!!!! You know the rules! If you drink my alcohol, you replace it” He said “Dad! Chill, I’ll take care of it tomorrow when I get off.” I said fine and hung up the phone. (Note to self: have lock installed on garage freezer.)

So there I was with a major jones for an organic white grapefruit margarita and no Patron Silver in the house. At this point, a reasonable man would have just used something else and not worried about it. However, I’m rarely called reasonable and I had a major craving going on. I was possessed! I had to have an organic white grapefruit margarita and I had to have it now! Nothing was going to stop me; I was in way to deep.

I jumped into the Jeep and headed down to the local grocery store. I walked to the liquor department to get a bottle of Patron. They had only one bottle left and it was in the locked display cabinet. The clerk told me that they couldn’t sell that one because they had lost the keys to the cabinet. I tracked down the store manager and he said the same thing and then said “Sorry, we’ll have more tomorrow.” I suggested breaking the glass on the display cabinet and he suggested that he would call the police if I did. Rat Bastard! He just didn’t understand. So I walk to the drug store at the other end of the shopping center. They are expensive, but usually have a good selection. They were out as well. They had other quality white tequilas, but I wanted Patron. Obsession was setting in; I walk back to the Jeep thinking of other places to go.

Three grocery stores and a liquor store later, I was still empty handed. I had exhausted all the places that I thought might have Patron. Once again, a reasonable man would have just used something else, but at this point, I was not a reasonable man. Then it hit me, my friend Jim had a fresh bottle of white Patron in his bar and he was out of town for the next week. I went home and got the key to his house out in the wine country. It was now nine o’clock and I figured I had time to drive out to his house in the wine country, get some Patron and beat my wife back home. I got to Jim’s house and there it was sitting on the bar like I remembered. I rummaged around his pantry and found a small jar and poured about six ounces of the clear liquid into it. Things were coming together now, I was feeling like everything was going to be Ok.

I got home and found that I had forgotten to turn on the porch light when I left earlier. It was very dark on the porch and I couldn’t see the lock on the door. I fumbled around for a few minutes trying to get the key in the lock, all the while thinking about nothing else but the taste of an organic white grapefruit margarita. I finally got the door unlocked and as I was reaching for the light I tripped over the bag of grapefruit, the thing that started this whole mess in the first place. At this point, everything went into slow motion: I watched the jar of Patron that I had worked so hard to procure float through the air as I crashed to the ground. It seemed to hang there forever, then it crashed onto the newly tiled floor and the glass jar shattered into a million pieces. The noise was deafening. I sat on the floor for a few minutes rubbing my head and thinking about the madness that had taken place in the previous few hours. I told myself how stupid I had been and decided that I would just make the stupid margarita without the Patron.

I stood up and decided to deal with the mess on the entryway floor later. I walked over to the bar and there, where I had left my margarita glass earlier that evening, was Mac (the devil cat) sitting in a puddle of sticky grapefruit juice looking down at the margarita glass shattered on the floor. I started to cry……..
yeah, I ain't reading all of that
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Old 08-06-2008, 01:55 PM   #8
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yeah, I ain't reading all of that
Hey.... you asked.
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Old 08-06-2008, 01:59 PM   #9
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Hey.... you asked.
and answered.

maybe I'll read it tonight to see whether I call bullchit or not.

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Old 08-06-2008, 02:14 PM   #10
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and answered.

maybe I'll read it tonight to see whether I call bullchit or not.

This is not up for debate! He did what you asked and you don't even have the courtesy to read it.
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Old 08-06-2008, 02:20 PM   #11
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Sounds true to me!
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Old 08-06-2008, 11:33 PM   #12
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This is not up for debate! He did what you asked and you don't even have the courtesy to read it.
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Old 08-06-2008, 11:34 PM   #13
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This is the story of the quest for the perfect Margarita.

It was late Friday afternoon and I had just left work. It had been a truly horrible day. One of my systems had crashed because of a stupid data base administrator who had “accidentally” deleted a database. While trying to restore it, we found out that the back-up process had stopped working months ago and all we had was a bunch of blank back-up tapes. I spent the better part of the day doing my best to reconstruct the file. I wasn’t even supposed to be in the office that day, it was my normal Friday off. I was supposed to be camping at the beach, I was supposed to be sitting in my chair at the top of the bluff overlooking the ocean, I was supposed to be drinking large quantities of Margaritas and watching the sun set. Instead, I was sitting in traffic moving 5 miles per hour. The radio was playing Jimmy Buffett, who was singing about Margaritaville. I was hating life and developing a craving.

We had canceled the beach trip because my wife had just started back to school and had a major team project due the following Monday. I switched my Friday off for the next week and had gone to work hoping for an easy day. As I pulled into the driveway, it hit me that my wife was meeting with her learning team until 10:00pm. The kids were all off doing their own things and I was alone. The thought of drinking myself into oblivion crossed my mind as I walked to the front door. As I got out my keys to unlock the door, I looked down and saw the answer to my quandary, my friend Jim had dropped off a large bag of grapefruit from his orchard on his way out of town. Right then I decided I was going to have a white grapefruit margarita! I could taste it before I got the door open, it would be heaven! My day got instantly better!

At this point, I think I need to back up a little and give you a bit of history: About a year earlier, I was sitting with my friend Jim having a beer and looking at the concrete footings and 2x4 framed walls that would one day be his home. Jim and his family were living in a trailer at the edge of the three acre organic grapefruit grove he had purchased to build a house on. We were sitting on a makeshift deck next to a pile of burning scrap lumber and watching the sun go down. The wives walked up with their hands full of grapefruit and one of them said “I bet you could come up with a recipe for grapefruit margaritas.” I said that I didn’t think so as I pealed one of the grapefruit. I ate a section of the fruit and was amazed! These things were wonderful! I started thinking of what we could mix together to come up with a good cocktail. What followed was six months of Saturdays working on the house during the day and then spending hours mixing various combinations of juice and alcohol looking for the perfect grapefruit margarita recipe.

Then one night we found it. It was perfect. The flavor was incredible. Not too sweet, enough bite to know you got bit, but mellow enough that you could drink them all night long. They were made in a shaker full of ice from fresh squeezed white organic grapefruit juice, roses lime juice, chilled Sauza Hornitos, chilled Patron Silver, triple sec, and Grand Marnier, shaken and poured neat into a margarita glass rimmed with fine white sugar.

Ok, back to the story…. I dropped my briefcase by the front door and put some Jimmy Buffet on the stereo. Grabbed two of the organic white grapefruit out of the bag and went over to the bar. I sliced one in half and got my favorite Margarita glass out of the cupboard. I moistened the rim of the glass with the grapefruit, coated it with fine white sugar and set it aside. I got out the juicer and squeezed the two halves of the grapefruit into the shaker over ice. I added the Rose’s lime juice and headed to the garage freezer to get the Hornitos and the Patron. Much to my horror, there was no Patron in the freezer. I figured the last time I used it, I must have put it back in the bar instead of the freezer. I went back into the house and tore the bar apart looking for it, but it just wasn’t there. Against all hope, I looked in the kitchen freezer. Nope, it wasn’t there either.

The next thing I did was call my oldest son. I asked him if he knew where the bottle of Patron Silver was. Long silence….. “Oh, about that” he says, “We killed it last weekend, that stuff was really good! I meant to replace it. Don’t worry, I’ll buy you a new bottle tomorrow when I get off work. Sorry about that!” I yelled into the phone “What!!!! You know the rules! If you drink my alcohol, you replace it” He said “Dad! Chill, I’ll take care of it tomorrow when I get off.” I said fine and hung up the phone. (Note to self: have lock installed on garage freezer.)

So there I was with a major jones for an organic white grapefruit margarita and no Patron Silver in the house. At this point, a reasonable man would have just used something else and not worried about it. However, I’m rarely called reasonable and I had a major craving going on. I was possessed! I had to have an organic white grapefruit margarita and I had to have it now! Nothing was going to stop me; I was in way to deep.

I jumped into the Jeep and headed down to the local grocery store. I walked to the liquor department to get a bottle of Patron. They had only one bottle left and it was in the locked display cabinet. The clerk told me that they couldn’t sell that one because they had lost the keys to the cabinet. I tracked down the store manager and he said the same thing and then said “Sorry, we’ll have more tomorrow.” I suggested breaking the glass on the display cabinet and he suggested that he would call the police if I did. Rat Bastard! He just didn’t understand. So I walk to the drug store at the other end of the shopping center. They are expensive, but usually have a good selection. They were out as well. They had other quality white tequilas, but I wanted Patron. Obsession was setting in; I walk back to the Jeep thinking of other places to go.

Three grocery stores and a liquor store later, I was still empty handed. I had exhausted all the places that I thought might have Patron. Once again, a reasonable man would have just used something else, but at this point, I was not a reasonable man. Then it hit me, my friend Jim had a fresh bottle of white Patron in his bar and he was out of town for the next week. I went home and got the key to his house out in the wine country. It was now nine o’clock and I figured I had time to drive out to his house in the wine country, get some Patron and beat my wife back home. I got to Jim’s house and there it was sitting on the bar like I remembered. I rummaged around his pantry and found a small jar and poured about six ounces of the clear liquid into it. Things were coming together now, I was feeling like everything was going to be Ok.

I got home and found that I had forgotten to turn on the porch light when I left earlier. It was very dark on the porch and I couldn’t see the lock on the door. I fumbled around for a few minutes trying to get the key in the lock, all the while thinking about nothing else but the taste of an organic white grapefruit margarita. I finally got the door unlocked and as I was reaching for the light I tripped over the bag of grapefruit, the thing that started this whole mess in the first place. At this point, everything went into slow motion: I watched the jar of Patron that I had worked so hard to procure float through the air as I crashed to the ground. It seemed to hang there forever, then it crashed onto the newly tiled floor and the glass jar shattered into a million pieces. The noise was deafening. I sat on the floor for a few minutes rubbing my head and thinking about the madness that had taken place in the previous few hours. I told myself how stupid I had been and decided that I would just make the stupid margarita without the Patron.

I stood up and decided to deal with the mess on the entryway floor later. I walked over to the bar and there, where I had left my margarita glass earlier that evening, was Mac (the devil cat) sitting in a puddle of sticky grapefruit juice looking down at the margarita glass shattered on the floor. I started to cry……..
not sure where you cut that from but good tale!

I doubt however it is true. .02
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Old 08-06-2008, 11:48 PM   #14
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not sure where you cut that from but good tale!

I doubt however it is true. .02
Actually, I cut it from my own sick and twisted mind. It is a short story I wrote last week for an English Comp class I'm taking. And the story is true, except the part about starting to cry (only girly men cry ). I actually poured about three fingers of the Hornitos over ice and set about the task of cleaning up both messes after I pitched the cat out of the room.
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Old 08-06-2008, 11:49 PM   #15
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Actually, I cut it from my own sick and twisted mind. It is a short story I wrote last week for an English Comp class I'm taking. And the story is true, except the part about starting to cry (only girly men cry ). I actually poured about three fingers of the Hornitos over ice and set about the task of cleaning up both messes after I pitched the cat out of the room.
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Old 08-07-2008, 07:15 AM   #16
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I can hook you up with my oldest brother's phone #. That guy wouldn't know the truth if it hit him in the face...He is the MASTER at the art of spinning a yarn!!
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Old 08-08-2008, 11:31 PM   #17
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I was cutting up jalapenos for salsa. Something that felt like a rock hit my eye and burned like crazy. I know better than to put jalapeno juice covered fingers in my eye so, with tears running down my face, I washed my hands. By now my other eye is blurring up in sympathy. Practically blind, I staggered to the bathroom to get the pepper seed out of my eye. I didn't find it... but I did find the tiny little speck of jalapeno juice I must have missed on my finger. That or soap.

I tried flushing my eye with water, no relief. I tried visine, just made it worse. I can't open my left eye now. It BUURRRNS!!!

BTW, I also spin the other kind of yarn, and weave it.
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Old 08-09-2008, 02:47 AM   #18
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UNLIMITED....good story, it kept my attention through the whole thing, and thats saying alot hahahaha

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2002 BLACK TJ X EDITION, 31x10.50 bf all terrains, ALL STOCK FOR NOW FROM PUEBLO< COLORADOSTATIONED IN OKINAWA, JAPAN ON CAMP BUTLER/FOSTER...

"THE PRICE OF FREEDOM IS ETERNAL VIGILANCE"

"UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS...GIVING THE ENEMY AN OPPORTUNITY TO DIE FOR THEIR COUNTRY SINCE 1775"
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