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Old 06-10-2008, 07:43 AM   #1
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Chicken News Stories

Post up your "Chickens in the news" stories......

Quote:
WASHINGTON (AFP) - Bass-playing Baptist preacher Mike Huckabee didn't get enough support to win his party's White House nomination, but he is sure to have the vote of a fellow Republican he saved from choking at the weekend.

"Oh, he's my best friend. I'm indebted for life," Robert Pittenger, who is running to be elected lieutenant governor of North Carolina, said after Huckabee helped him expel a piece of food jammed in his throat on Saturday

Huckabee, who earlier this year ceded the Republican presidential nomination to John McCain after a spirited dark-horse chase for the nod, told Fox News on Monday he didn't think twice when he stepped in and gave Pittenger the "Heimlich Maneuver" -- pressure on the abdomen to dislodge the food.

"I just happened to look up and I saw somebody patting on the back ...I knew that the worst thing you can do is pat someone on the back if they're choking," Huckabee said, noting that he had taken emergency medical training when he was younger.

"I just simply said, 'Excuse me," to the person to whom I was speaking, got up, walked over, pushed the person aside who was patting him on the back, and, you know, did not even think about being rude, just said, 'Excuse me,' and reached around Robert, gave him the Heimlich maneuver three or four times, the item dislodged, and he was fine.

"And I went back and sat down and went on with my business."

"I didn't want to see, you know, this incredibly very valuable political career cut short by a piece of chicken," he added.
Quote:
SIMSBURY, Conn. - Authorities in Connecticut are wondering who stuffed a raw roasting chicken with a pipe bomb and left it on a roadside.

Simsbury police Capt. Matthew Catania says a motorist noticed the chicken Monday morning. He says the bomb was large enough to harm a person if it went off.

The road was closed while the Hartford Police Department's bomb squad came and blew up the chicken.
Nobody was injured. No arrests had been made Monday night.
Why did the roasting chicken cross the road? --- To plant an I.E.D.

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Old 06-27-2008, 09:38 AM   #2
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JACKSON, Mich. - A man was accused of stabbing his mother with a fork and assaulting a second woman with 10 pounds of frozen chicken.

Frederick Duane McKaney, 40, of Ypsilanti, was arraigned Wednesday in 12th District Court in Jackson. He faces two felony assault charges as well as one count of assault and battery and one count of resisting an officer.

Prosecutors said McKaney stabbed his mother in the back of the neck with a fork Monday night.

About an hour later, he hit a woman in the head with a plastic bag of frozen chicken. They had exchanged rude words while he rode his bicycle. She needed five surgical staples to close her wound.

McKaney has no attorney on record with the court.

A pre-exam conference is scheduled for July 2.

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Old 06-27-2008, 10:10 AM   #3
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Irene Azevedo, 41, of Belo Horizonte, Brazil, is offering a $500 reward for the return of her pet chicken, Scratchy. “She could be in somebody’s pot by now,” Azevedo said. “But she’s not just a chicken. She’s a loving companion, a jewel.” She says Scratchy drinks a saucer of milk every night before going to bed in a special cot. Meanwhile, a rooster in Jackson, Mich., that lost both legs due to frostbite is being fitted with artificial limbs. “He runs pretty good on his little stumpies,” said veterinarian Timothy England, who has dubbed the bird Mr. Chicken. The vet will not only provide the replacement drumsticks and the surgery to install them, his staff has purchased 14 chicks for the rooster. Come spring, “he will have his own harem,” England says. (Reuters, AP) ...Obviously, Scratchy has been abducted for the international white meat slave trade.
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Old 06-27-2008, 10:11 AM   #4
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Chinese Rabbit Eats Chicken
A rabbit kept by a woman surnamed Yang from Changchun, capital of Jilin Province, was found to have developed the unusual habit of eating chicken, and does so with fervor.



She usually feeds the rabbit vegetables, but one day she discovered the rabbit had eaten a piece of chicken dropped from her dining table. Since then, she has fed the animal chicken.

To her amusement, the rabbit is so fond of chicken that she gives it the new food once a day.
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Old 06-27-2008, 10:13 AM   #5
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A man in Suva, Fiji, is being taught to act human after being raised as a chicken.

Sunjit Kumar was locked in a chicken coop for several years as a young boy, after his parents died and he was handed over to his grandfather.

He had little contact with humans during that time and picked up the habits of the birds.

Kumar escaped from the chicken coop and was taken to a local hospital. But the staff did not know how to treat him, so they confined him. He spent 20 years there, often tied to his bed.

Kumar, who is now 32, finally got a second chance at life when he was discovered by Elizabeth Clayton, a native New Zealander and president of the Suva Rotary Club.

Clayton said doctors examined Sunjit and found no mental defects. Professionals agreed that his condition was the result of years of neglect and abuse.

"He had imitated or imprinted with the chicken," Clayton said. "He was perching, he was picking at his food, he was hopping around like a chicken. He'd keep his hands in a chickenlike fashion, and he'd make a noise, which was like the calling of a chicken, which he still has."

Clayton took over Kumar's care and he has reportedly made "remarkable progress," learning to walk and speak like a human.
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Old 06-27-2008, 10:17 AM   #6
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Horse and the Chicken
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found.

So he drives the farmers BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
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Old 06-27-2008, 10:56 AM   #7
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Horse and the Chicken
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found.

So he drives the farmers BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
That's one of my favorites.
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Old 06-27-2008, 11:06 AM   #8
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A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old guy, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"

The young rooster says, "Beat it. You are washed up and I am taking over."

The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."

The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn. Third gay rooster I bought this month."
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Old 06-27-2008, 11:17 AM   #9
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That's funny sheet! I love that one.
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Old 06-27-2008, 11:52 AM   #10
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Man I gotta get a life. I just read all that
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Old 06-27-2008, 12:06 PM   #11
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HA HA HA!!! Homo chickens!!!! they love the "cock"!!!!
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Old 06-27-2008, 10:04 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cherokee980 View Post
HA HA HA!!! Homo chickens!!!! they love the "cock"!!!!
Thats horrible man...
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Old 06-27-2008, 10:30 PM   #13
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HA HA HA!!! Homo chickens!!!! they love the "cock"!!!!


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