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Old 01-21-2009, 08:00 AM   #1
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Craigslist....Too Funny.

Owned...

Quote:
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown,
Savannah)

Reply to: pers-982078099@craigslist.org
[?]Date:2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the white guy with the black
Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled
the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse
and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message.

I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol
after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason
that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had
just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we
hadjust picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?
It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't
it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to
wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your
pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your
shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of
your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of
calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and
explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your
card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van
Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet
itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your
cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel
recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a
day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't
permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone
calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I
know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted
mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already
washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you
for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and
was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider
your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.

If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

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http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...are/TMLogo.gif Are all fishermen liars, or do only liars fish?
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Old 01-21-2009, 08:13 AM   #2
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has to be fake lol.. but funny

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Old 01-21-2009, 08:23 AM   #3
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bahahahahahahaha thats awesome
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Old 01-21-2009, 09:01 AM   #4
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Funny stuff. Likely fake, but still funny.

Snopes is researching it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tiny terror View Post
I curse like a drunk sailor
Obama -> The Presidency to Nowhere
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Old 01-21-2009, 10:07 AM   #5
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ROTFLMAO!!
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Old 01-21-2009, 10:16 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rketr View Post
Snopes kills lots of good stories.

Believe.
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Old 01-21-2009, 10:21 AM   #7
that's what she said

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best story ever.
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Old 01-21-2009, 12:11 PM   #8
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Love it
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Old 01-21-2009, 02:16 PM   #9
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Who the hell would wear Burrberry???
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Old 01-21-2009, 02:58 PM   #10
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That's why I carry with me everywhere.
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Old 01-21-2009, 05:41 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by afrats View Post
That's why I carry with me everywhere.
because you wear burrberry?? i would to
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Old 01-21-2009, 05:59 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by jpdocdave View Post
because you wear burrberry?? i would to
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Old 01-21-2009, 07:57 PM   #13
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I'm proud to say, I actually had to google what the hell "burrberry" was. I am only familiar with "BooBerry".
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Old 01-21-2009, 10:29 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by chezuki View Post
I'm proud to say, I actually had to google what the hell "burrberry" was. I am only familiar with "BooBerry".
i didn't want to say anything, cuz my joke was funny, but i have no clue what it is still.
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"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president."
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Old 01-21-2009, 11:04 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jpdocdave View Post
i didn't want to say anything, cuz my joke was funny, but i have no clue what it is still.
hahaha same here, lets just keep it that way, it seems better not knowing

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