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Old 07-19-2008, 01:17 PM   #1
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Dear God, From:Dogs

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc, just because I like the way they smell.
3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

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Old 07-19-2008, 01:34 PM   #2
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I like that!

If I were a dog I think that is what I would say when I talked to God

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Old 07-19-2008, 01:42 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dare2BSquare View Post

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Sure it is.
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Old 07-19-2008, 01:43 PM   #4
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man i hope my dog loves me
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Old 07-19-2008, 04:02 PM   #5
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man i hope my dog loves me
awww, of course he does
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Old 07-19-2008, 04:13 PM   #6
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The F150 is a LOBO in mexico, Thats Wolf. Is that not close enough to a dog?
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Old 07-19-2008, 06:06 PM   #7
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41 people have seen this so far, and no response to the testicle thing???????????????????

Ya'll are slippin!
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Old 07-19-2008, 06:50 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dare2BSquare View Post
41 people have seen this so far, and no response to the testicle thing???????????????????

Ya'll are slippin!
We're still reeling from the "flip-off" thread.

That's a good one, Dare.
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Old 07-20-2008, 04:03 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dare2BSquare View Post
41 people have seen this so far, and no response to the testicle thing???????????????????

Ya'll are slippin!
Better slippin than snippin

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