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Old 06-05-2009, 04:12 PM   #1
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Funny things that happened to you....

when you were young. Preferrably ones that involve police.

This one is a bit long but I can remember it like it was yesterday. Keep in mind I was about 19 when this happened so my logic and thinking isn't the best.

A long long time ago in a place far far away a bunch of friends and I were making a 1.5 hour drive to this super secret swimming hole. My friend Matt and I were in my dad's 74 1/2 ton Chevy p/u(it had the 350 that's in my jeep now) and 5 other friends in Shawn's Toyota p/u. 2 of them were in the back because the cab was full. Both guys in the bed of the Toyota had Big Gulps. We're cruising along on a 4 lane highway and one of the guys in the back of the toyota motions like he is going to throw his drink on the front of my truck. I shook my head no and then he chucked it at me. I hit the brakes a bit and it splattered on the highway. Whew!! Then as I catch back up the other guy lobs his and it hits smack in the middle of the hood and soda goes all up the windshield. Its a hot summer day and I didn't dare hit the wipers or I'd have a sticky mess, not that I didn't have that already. So I down shift, jump in the fast lane, and drop the hammer. I got around em real quick. About the same time I was passing my friends truck I can see a white Camaro with a lightbar on top and the words State Police on the door going in the opposite direction. SUCK!! I'm rubber neckin as he goes by and sure enough he on the brakes hard, cuts through the grassy median and is making a bee line in my direction. My friend quickly says, just tell the cop we were trying to get around those guys in the Toyota because they threw F***in soda on the windshield. But then he said "but don't use the "F" word or he'll give you a ticket, and we don't know who those people are".

So I'm now doing the speed limit (55mph) and the road narrows down to just a 2 lane road and he hasn't caught up yet. There are 2 cars between him and I and his red and blues are on. The one guy pulls over immediately and I'm thinking "oh please, oh please pull over with him". Nope. Now there is just one car between him and I and this guy must not have been watching his mirrors because we must have went 1-2 miles before he pulled over. Again I'm thinking "oh please, oh please pull over with him". Not a chance. We are now on this gradual curve and the cop gets behind me and I pull over and he follows me over. DAMN!! My friend quickly goes over one more time what to say. My friends in the Toyota drive on by.

The cop gets up to the truck and asks if I knew how fast I was going and I said "No, but we were just trying to get around those guys in the back of that pickup because they threw F***in soda all over the windshield". My heart started beating out of my chest at the mention of the "F" word. Crap I slipped up and now I'm doomed!! The cop looks over at the windshield and can see a nice thin layer of brown syrup all over the hood and windshield, not obstructing my view but still quite easy to see. The cop asks "the blue Toyota with 2 guys in the back"? I said yes and he asked if I knew who they were and I replied no. He then asked for my drivers license and proof of insurance. He takes down my information and says "I'm going to hold on to your information in case something comes up later and your not telling me the truth. That way I know where to find you. Next time something like that happens just let them go and back off." Whew he's letting me off with a warning. He gives me back my stuff and heads back to his car. I pull out and make it about 2 or 3 blocks down the road and guess who stopped on the side of the road to wait for us, just out of sight. Matt and I both say the same thing. "Crap, if the cop sees them we're screwed" cuz if they get pulled over, our stories won't match. As we drive by them we are both making mad motions for them to get the heck to moving. The cop must have made an immediate u-turn or waited a while to pull out because we never saw him again.

We made it to the swimming hole and told the others what happened and we all laughed about it and I don't think any of us actually swam that day. But we did have a good time.

So lets here yours...

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Old 06-05-2009, 05:39 PM   #2
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When I met my first husband,we lived in Melbourne the capital of Victoria, about the size of Chicago. Well bored one night we decided to do an egg run. Every car we could pass copped eggs, trucks ,trains, buses & bicycles, even some pedestrians.(bad I know but we were bored, ok!) there were about 5 of us all in our late teens. Well one of the cars that ended up with an egg covered windshield chased us for a few miles untill we pulled into a housing court & quickly into a driveway, killing the motor. Waiting,waiting, finally we see the car pass the court & continue on without catching us. Phew! we all breathed a sigh of relief & decided to call our egg throwing antics a night, so headed to the bowling ally. All was good for about half an hour, we were enjoying bowling, laughing being silly & just being generally obnoxious. Then one of our group looked over to the next lane , to his dismay, the guy there was the same guy that had been chasing us, there he was, right there, uh oh!!!! So I guess our game was a little intense from then on with this guy giving us dirty looks for the the rest of the time we were there. We acted as though we didn't have a clue & when we finished our game we hightailed it out of there so fast. Talk about odds,who would have thought he would turn up at the same place as us!

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Old 06-05-2009, 05:45 PM   #3
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on video we have accidentally egged a cop car, but my favorite stupid video antics were drive thru taco bell super soakers, and launching people in shopping carts in empty parking lots.
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Old 06-05-2009, 06:02 PM   #4
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^ so show us the video?
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Old 06-05-2009, 06:16 PM   #5
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Must see...Pictures/video or it never happened
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Old 06-05-2009, 06:24 PM   #6
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Well after my first year of college I have plenty, I will share two for ya:

1. This past year my parents came down to visit me. Being the dumbass I am, I asked my dad to bring down my water balloon launcher and he complied with my wishes. Alright this is the very first night we have it. Make a bunch of water balloons, and we are sitting on the roof at 2 in the morning on a Monday, so no one is really around.
CAR! CAR! We see a car right next to us coming towards us. I am holding onto the side of the launcher, and my buddy is actually shooting it.
Alright this launcher can easily shoot over a 100 yards, and this car is about 40 yards out. So we decide to shoot way up, so it comes down like an artillery round.
We are all set up, and literally about to shoot it when I notice the lightbar
me: "OH F*CK! COP! COP! COP!"
My buddy "F*CK THE POLICE!" and launches it
what do you know we nail it on the windshield, and this thing definetly did some damage.
We are running away, I dive through our window, lock the doors, and cut the lights. We look out the window and the cop is trying to get into the building with his lights flashing.
We went to bed scared sh*tless that night lol



2. This was a couple of years ago. We went to a nearby park and jumped my Jeep a couple of times. Our buddy was the manager of a cleaners store nearby, and we knew he was opening the next morning. So we went over and we had a bunch of cupcakes, and we decided to throw them at the store (not my idea). We only threw like 3 and drove away. We parked a street down to meet some friends. What do ya know, 10 minutes later a cop pulls up with his lights on. He walks over "Are you the cup cake throwers?"
I literally burst out laughing, it was just so funny how he said it. We told him the whole story about our friend opening and everything. We go back with him and when we get there, there are 8 cop cars there. Apparently the dumb*ss blonde called the cops because she thought we were breaking into the cleaners, so they put all the cops nearby on it. After cleaning it up, I had to call my parents and explain what happened. My dad thought it was hilarious, mom not so much.
To this dad when I go into my friends houses the parents ask if we are armed with cupcakes lol.
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Old 06-05-2009, 06:35 PM   #7
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........To this dad when I go into my friends houses the parents ask if we are armed with cupcakes lol.
That's funny.
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Old 06-06-2009, 06:54 AM   #8
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drive thru taco bell super soakers
That happened to a girl I worked with at Jack in the Box, in my younger years. When she turned around from the window, it was hilarious
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Old 06-06-2009, 07:57 AM   #9
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^ thats funny.

Keep it short and simple. 3 years ago going into TJ from Temec. I have my mustang and buddies camero and anothr buddy with a 45 foot trailer with 2 trophy truck in it (fords) and a sand buggy. Get a cross the border fine no problems. Bout 3 miles down the road the federally lights are and screaming so we pull over. They tell the guys to empty out the trailer. The trucks come off and all is great. THEY START DUMPIG OUT THE C-16 RACE GAS. MY buddy is pissed, yelling screaming. That stuff is around 13 bucks a GALLON!! They all jump in the trucks and just bolt!!!!! The guy drivin the trailer turns around and goes back a cross the border because they wanted the cars and 2 trucks along with the buggy. So then my buddy bolts in the camero.I follow suite then 3 days later the camero and I meet the trailer back at there house laughing and don't know where the guys are in the trucks! Get a phone call they are in Arizona out of gas and need a ride home lol.

Cliff notes if you run from the mexican police make sure you don't get caught
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Old 06-06-2009, 10:18 AM   #10
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Not too long ago me and my buddies were all walking around the neighborhood. We decided to move all the for sale signs for houses that were on sale to houses that people were living in. When we were almost done a cop patrolling saw us and so we all split up and and hauled tail in all different directions. Well being the lazy cop I guess he was he chased down the fat friend and caught him but and just gave him a warning and made him put every single sign back to where it was originally at. Good thing the fat friend wouldn't tell who everybody else was that was doing it!
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Old 06-06-2009, 11:31 AM   #11
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^ Aren't fat friends cool.
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Old 06-06-2009, 11:42 AM   #12
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I put my leg in a pizza dough mixer and hit the start button. I dont think ya'll need the rest of the details.
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Old 06-06-2009, 05:06 PM   #13
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^ Aren't fat friends cool.
Best ones to have
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Old 06-06-2009, 06:25 PM   #14
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A buddy and I got really stoned and saw a drunk driver, so we stopped at the police station to report him and ended up in the interrogation room. They let us go but it was a real buzz-kill.
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Old 06-06-2009, 10:07 PM   #15
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A buddy and I got really stoned and saw a drunk driver, so we stopped at the police station to report him and ended up in the interrogation room. They let us go but it was a real buzz-kill.
Really?
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Old 06-07-2009, 01:05 PM   #16
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Really?
Yeah, kinda like getting pulled over with a beer in your hand. Anyway - at first it seemed like the right thing to do - right up til the cop said, "Come on over into this room and have a seat boys."
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Old 06-07-2009, 01:40 PM   #17
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Yeah, kinda like getting pulled over with a beer in your hand. Anyway - at first it seemed like the right thing to do - right up til the cop said, "Come on over into this room and have a seat boys."
Several years ago, on the way home from the golf course, on of the local finest pulled me over in my MJ, with the cart on a trailer behind me. That wouldn't have been too bad, but (1) We had also stopped on the way home at the VFW post (2) My passenger had a mostly gone 12 pack on ice, between his feet (3) he also had a mostly gone can in his hand (4) the cop was his son
I don't think I have ever been so embarrased I don't go anywhere to get a drink anymore, I just wait until I get home!
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Old 06-08-2009, 06:22 PM   #18
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^ so show us the video?
not my video, its one of my idiot friends from my early 20's. that makes it about 8 yrs ago, i don't even think it was digital.

i think it was funnier listening to him making an order and pumping the gun up trying not to giggle than the actuall soaking
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Old 06-09-2009, 02:52 PM   #19
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Here's a story I wrote on another forum that some find amusing. And it's all true. It's title was "I'm an Idiot"

So, I was a narc defective. Me and my partner get a request from one of the guys on our department to help him do some buys with a CI. We like this officer, who is pretty new but has been a go-getter on dope stuff. We agree.

After a series of things go wrong, a BG takes off, and I chase him. My partner was out of position, and I was on our tac channel so nobody hears me call it out. Luckily, my partner sees me take off and calls it out on one of our repeater channels.

I chase this guy across a busy 4-lane road in traffic like an idiot, and luckily neither of us gets hit. I'm gaining on him as I'm passing an office building headed toward a residential alley when I hear from behind me "Stop or I'll release the dog." Oh shit. I'm in plain clothes and probably look even more like a chew toy than the BG. I imagine that nobody knows I'm in the chase, and the handler will release the dog. I just know I'm getting ready to be a milkbone.

I start to cry a little, and unsuccessfully try to climb the brick wall I'm next to. No dice - but I did put some good claw marks in it. I press myself flat against it and try to think bricky thoughts. "Be the wall . . . be the wall." Luckily, the handler and dog go by. I sob my thanks a little and fall in behind them. Another warning or two, and off the leash the dog goes. Like a heat-seeking missile to a volcano. It really was beautiful. Poochy chomps on dude's arm mid-stride, and the dog and BG start struggling. Me and handler (apparently the only ones who can run under a 15 minute mile) are the only ones around it seems.

Well, pooch and BG are still discussing things, but it looks like the dog really only has a sleeve. The handler says something in a language I don't speak (it's not English, German, or redneck, so I'm out). The dog immediately lets go and starts backing up, looking at the BG and barking in a strong foreign accent. I figure it's my turn to jump in, ground the guy, and throw the cuffs on.

I bowl over BG (very gently, of course). After an instant on the ground and the BG still struggling, I feel a terrible pain just to the right of my crotch . . . it feels like someone showed up and is stomping on me with their full weight on my upper, inner thigh. The cavalry shows up, and convinces the BG to stop struggling with gentle persuasion. But the crushing on my leg is still there.

I look down - and there is a K9 attached to my crotch. The dog and I make eye contact. He looks at me. I look at him. And then he starts shaking his head from side to side furiously. It's dark out, and I guess the handler doesn't see that poochy is gnawing on me right next to my junk. Keeping a level head, I scream like a girl (maybe higher - just a bit out of human hearing range) that the dog is biting me. I don't think the handler realized it was me screaming like a little girl at first until I said his name. By the way - the dog still has his original grip, and is still shaking and pulling. I'm trying to go with him, wanting to make the dog happy.

The handler says he immediately called the dog off. From my perpective, I think he read a short novel, got a pizza, then called off the dog. The dog backs off. The BG is in cuffs, and has been educated on the errors of trying to escape custody.

Well, this is really my fault since I don't speak whatever dog speak our K9 guys speak. I mistook "OK - this guy has stopped and had enough - stop gnawing on him" for "sick balls, killer." My bad for putting my balls in the way of BG's balls.

I stood up, and I look like I'm having my first period. At like 33-34 years old - guess I'm a late bloomer. Some idiot calls an ambulance for me (I tell them to cancel, and have my partner take me to the ER). Well, of course everyone hears the radio call. So I go to the ER, and have to strip down and have the wounds cleaned up - a bit of torn up skin removed. Oh - and like two shifts of cops come to the ER while this is happening so they can make fun of me. And of course since my wife is a nurse at that hospital, all her friends also come by. I think they called in a few officers in from out of state to come by and give me shit about getting my sack crunched (even though they really weren't - a near miss). Of course, I can't sit down comfortably, but I'm providing loads of entertainment for everyone.

Sadly, the dog that bit me died about six months later of "heart failure." I think it was poisoned by biting me so close to my ass, and it took that long for it to finally give in.

My supervisor took a pic of the bite (which was surprisingly clean) right after I got done at the ER. It bruised badly over the next few days (like down to my knee), but healed with no infection.



So - here's what I learned from this: if you don't speak dog handler - stay the hell away from them. Let the dog do it's thing. If the dog is release - go the **** home. Or to the other side of town. Or go on dinner break somewhere else. Just stay away.
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Old 06-09-2009, 03:15 PM   #20
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one day a couple years back, me and 3 buddies went driving through downtown Flint chucking baby tomatoes at people we saw. We were in a 96 trans am and I was in the back seat, but I managed to side arm a couple out the window.
Anyway we hit one guy raking leaves right in the face, and another managed to get in a car and chase us.
We dodged around a city block and thought we had lost him, but as we pulled up to the next corner there he was at the intersection. we were in a right turn lane only, and as we turned the corner he got out of the car and threw a beer bottle at the driver side window.

Thankfully it didnt crack, we all just sat there stunned for a bit, then laughed hysterically as we sped away
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Old 06-09-2009, 03:53 PM   #21
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hmmm, where to begin.
1. donuts- earlier this year (nov) the school parking lot was still wet from the rain the night before. I was stupid and listened to my friends. I started spinning them. yes, in the astro and let them smoke for like 10 seconds i then let off the brake, turn left with the back end swinging out wide i then let it go all the way around to do a complete 180, then hook a right pulling back into the parking spot i started in, just facing the opposite way. The school cop and dean didn't like this too much. Sat for a couple hours in the school cops office. He gave me 3 tickets, and basically promised me that i would lose my license. The tickets were: reckless driving, illegal u turn, and screeching tires. Went to court, had a good attorney, got all the tickets dropped but the illegal u-turn....weird i know. i had to do traffic school, and 20 hours of home community service.
different time same idea:



2. Break-in? so me and my friend (best friends and lived on the same street for 13 years) werewalking his dog for a while up and down the street. It was like mid-February and probably 10 at night. Anyways, he was watching some peoples dogs that lived up the street. So we go in their house walk their dogs and leave. We then walk down to another neighbors house, because i was watching their dog. As we're walking the dog, a cop rolls up the street veeeerrry slowly with spot lights on... we walk inside. as we walk back out through the garage there are 2 cops standing at the top of the driveway. They start questioning us... WTF!? some new a**hole nieghbors called the cops because they said we looked suspicious and that we were breaking into houses. They are retards. The cops listen to the story take our id's then run them and see that we are good.

3. mini-golf- this happened yesterday actually. Me and a friend (same as story above lol) went mini-golfing at the local place. We were being ourselves (teenager like) not to loud or annoying or anything. Its just us two and another guy with two little kids. Whenever we would catch up to them we would go back and replay some holes. Once he hit like the 17th holee he comes back to us and was like, "you guys can have the course to yourselves now..." i was like ok, WTF does that mean? then he tells us, "You guys are F**king A**holes, i'm trying to play mini-golf with my kids, and you guys are acting like complete F**king dickheads." me and my friend said (very sarcastically), "ohhhkkkaayyyy?" He then said, "you guys should go smoke you're F**king pot somewhere else and get high somewhere else" We say "Weed is gay, we don't smoke" "well maybe you should start, maybe it will F**king calm you down" Us, "nah, no thanks tho" he goes inside to bitch at the lady in charge. He then leaves and she comes out to talk to us. She tells us that he said we were being retards, yelling, breaking stuff, swearing, the hole 9 yards lol and she informs us that there is a cop on the way and also that the guy that freaked out is on the force so cop gets there. we tell him about what happened and about him telling us to go smoke. He basically said the other guy sounds like he has a problem and that he is retarded for telling us to go smoke. He just lets us go and tells the other lady that all is fine


---i got more if there is any interest
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Old 06-09-2009, 04:03 PM   #22
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leaving a music festival one night, i decided the best way to avoid the long lines for the shuttle was to hop in the bed of a truck and ask for a ride. when people saw me do it, they had the same idea and swarmed the truck. we told the driver to follow the bus. we end up going down the road and take a head count.....theres 26 people in the bed of the truck. about 30 minutes go by before anyone realizes we didnt park that far away. dude followed the wrong bus, and by now, we're in the middle of nowhere. we tap on the window and explain the error to the driver. he has the idea "lets all just find a bar in austin!" (another hour away). half the truck bed riders agreed but the other half begged for a ride back to Shiner. THankfully, he turned around and took us back. with that many people in the truck, driven by a drunk, on a 2 lane road, every bump it was all we could do to stay inside the truck. iwas on the rail, with someone sitting on my lap and someone else sitting on my feet.

we finally got back to Shiner, wondered around for an hour or so until we could find where we parked, and left. by then of course, everyone was gone, so it would have been way faster to take the damn bus. It made for a LONNNNNG drive home. LOL
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Old 03-19-2010, 03:04 AM   #23
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a couple summers ago, down at the river, we were having some fun with the jet ski. pretty standard stuff, racing up and down the creek, chasing down the bigger boats and ramping off their wake. we ended up finding a 70 foot cruiser, pulling a steady 35 mph and throwing off an 8 foot wake. all 4 of us figured this could be fun, especially my buddy and i since our skis were by far the heaviest of the bunch
so we fall back to about 200 feet behind the boat and take turns getting air born. eventually we notice there are some rather attractive bikini clad women watching from the back deck. so we move a little closer to the boat to show off a little. so i line up for an approach and figure i may as well try and make this a good one. i pin the throttle and am pulling about 30 mph by the time i am 20 feet away from the bottom of the wake. this is about the same time i realize i have my line completely wrong and am staring at an 8 foot tall wall of water. since i am at the point of no return, i grab some more throttle and hope for the best. now i had been expecting to be launched straight into the air and had braced myself incase i had to bail mid flight. well it turns out that what i had been expecting to happen was the exact opposite of what actually happened. instead of my ski trying to be an airplane, it decided it wanted to be a submarine.
next thing i know, i am completely surrounded by water, just trying to hold on to the handle bars. my jet ski rockets out of the other side of the wake, and according to my friends it looked a lot like when a sub does an emergency surfacing.
once i am above water again, i hear a lot of cheering and laughing. at first i thought this was cause i managed to do something that looked epicly cool, then i realized when i came back to the surface, my surf shorts had tried to stay under water, and i was now mooning every one on the boat along with all my friends. apparently my a$$ is so pale, it was like looking into a mirror pointed at the sun.

a little later on that day, we were all still out on the jet skis, and decided to start buzzing the flocks of geese that were hanging around. all was going well and we were having lots of laughs at the geese as they flew off and made noise and such, it was good fun, right up until we buzzed some swans, turns out they dont like jet skis to much, and are a little more aggressive then the geese. so they start chasing us, so we book out of that area.
a little later we are regrouped in a small cove, waiting for my buddy's yamaha to stop throwing a fit cause it thinks its over heating(it had a bad temp sensor, so it would go into limp mode for no good reason). so while waiting, one of my other buds decides he needs to take a leak, so he turns around and starts going off the back of his ski. well right about that moment, a huge a$$ swan comes flying over making a huge racket and sounding pretty pissed off. so we all start up and book out. all of us accept my buddy who was taken a piss. all the commotion from the swan, and the water being turned up by the skis had caused him to lose his balance and fall into the water. so not only did he end up fallin in, and probably peeing on himself, he also had to play a strange game of whack-a-mole with the swan while it tried to peck at his head for like a minute.

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