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Old 02-01-2008, 04:37 PM   #1
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Gay Test

'Am I Gay?' Male Self Examination Quiz

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are
gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and
have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing
the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a
dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches
itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be
fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I
said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a
cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed,
you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only
sucks on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled
pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and
undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. The world is a man's
bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man
will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a
Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four
different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you
might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it,
you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands
on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your
e-mail list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings
then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.

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Old 02-01-2008, 04:49 PM   #2
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That's a good one! I just spit soy latte all over my keyboard!

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Old 02-01-2008, 04:55 PM   #3
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That's a good one! I just spit soy latte all over my keyboard!
Did you scare Bun Bun off too, an now she wont come to you.
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Old 02-01-2008, 05:13 PM   #4
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If you ever posted a "Gay Test" thread on a Jeep forum...
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Old 02-01-2008, 09:44 PM   #5
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I was just trying to help some of you guys out.
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Old 02-01-2008, 10:39 PM   #6
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I just spit beer all over my monitor, wait a minute, I gotta run out back and piss, and I should probably get my dog off the homo-next-doors cat!
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And the most important safety, I never put my booger hook on the bang switch unless I'm ready to fire.
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Old 02-02-2008, 02:48 AM   #7
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Arguing with a truck driver is like wrestling with a pig in mud, eventually you realize the pig enjoys it.
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Old 02-02-2008, 03:10 AM   #8
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so


im gay
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Old 02-02-2008, 12:10 PM   #9
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I have a cat named killer who weighs 27 pounds and acts like a dog, he even farts all the time and they stink bad, does that make me gay?
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Old 02-02-2008, 12:26 PM   #10
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I have a cat named killer who weighs 27 pounds and acts like a dog, he even farts all the time and they stink bad, does that make me gay?
Depends, is "Killer" a domesticated jungle cat, like an ocelot, or something? If not, sorry, you're a HOMO!!!!
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And the most important safety, I never put my booger hook on the bang switch unless I'm ready to fire.
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Old 02-02-2008, 02:24 PM   #11
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Snig was in the Navy so he's gay! But in his defense, "It's not gay while underway."
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Old 02-02-2008, 02:31 PM   #12
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Rip, there is no need to cast aspersions on others in an attempt to hide your own pole-smoking habits, it's not exactly a secret around here about you.





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And the most important safety, I never put my booger hook on the bang switch unless I'm ready to fire.
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Old 02-02-2008, 08:14 PM   #13
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i love how all male cat owners try and defend it by saying....my cat acts like a dog. its not true. a cat is a no matter what you say about him......

on #6 it talks about chartreuse, what if you only no that color bc its one of the best plastic fishing worms ever made?
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Old 02-02-2008, 08:16 PM   #14
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Old 02-02-2008, 08:38 PM   #15
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Old 02-02-2008, 09:20 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sgnellett View Post
Depends, is "Killer" a domesticated jungle cat, like an ocelot, or something? If not, sorry, you're a HOMO!!!!
he may not be an ocelot, but at least he enjoys a cold one every now and then.... so he's a manly cat at least....

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Old 02-02-2008, 09:26 PM   #17
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That's a whole lotta cat right there...... and how can you call a man who likes pus..... dang I can't say that, never mind.
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Old 02-02-2008, 09:33 PM   #18
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Yeah, I love my big, furry pussy cat. If that makes me gay, then i guess i'm a flamer....
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Old 02-02-2008, 09:52 PM   #19
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I have a friend thats almost 40 and has a six pack stomach so does that make him gay
by the way he is training for his first ufc fight
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Old 02-02-2008, 10:47 PM   #20
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I fondle myself here and there.....Im not gay am I?
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Old 02-03-2008, 04:08 AM   #21
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Love those, AzTJ - have them posted at my desk. Mucho Coolio.
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Old 02-03-2008, 06:17 AM   #22
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i love how all male cat owners try and defend it by saying....my cat acts like a dog. its not true. a cat is a no matter what you say about him......

on #6 it talks about chartreuse, what if you only no that color bc its one of the best plastic fishing worms ever made?
chartreuse wiggle wart is the best crank bait i have ever used...
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Old 02-03-2008, 07:02 AM   #23
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Your gay if you stick your penis up another mans ass. Thats probably a more sure-fire way to tell.
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Old 02-03-2008, 09:37 AM   #24
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And that didn't even make the list. ^ Weird.
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Old 02-03-2008, 09:56 AM   #25
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[QUOTE=kg4kpg;188869]2. If you have a cat.

QUOTE]

Wait, I have two cats. I also have one dog, so does that cancel out one of the cats?
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Old 02-03-2008, 10:09 AM   #26
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ahahahahaahahaha. smeg just made my day. seriously funniest thing i've heard in a while
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Old 02-03-2008, 12:13 PM   #27
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Your gay if you stick your penis up another mans ass. Thats probably a more sure-fire way to tell.
Any straight guy knows that one goes without saying, but since all you homos out there feel the need to explain it in excruciating detail..

It should also go without saying, but if you have to ask if you are gay, you probably are!
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And the most important safety, I never put my booger hook on the bang switch unless I'm ready to fire.
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Old 02-03-2008, 12:25 PM   #28
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idk how to post u tube vidoes is it the same way as before?
[yt]
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Old 02-03-2008, 12:44 PM   #29
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Your gay if you stick your penis up another mans ass. Thats probably a more sure-fire way to tell.
Says the guy with a picture of guys hugging for a siggy...





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Old 02-03-2008, 04:35 PM   #30
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Jeep Wranglers are girl students cars and anyone that owns one is gay

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