girlfriend doesn't understand project cars - Jeep Wrangler Forum
Jeep Wrangler Forum

Go Back   Jeep Wrangler Forum > General Discussion Forums > Off-Topic

Join Wrangler Forum Today


Reply
 
Thread Tools

Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about them on WranglerForum.com
Old 01-04-2013, 10:02 AM   #1
Newb
 
fletus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 8
girlfriend doesn't understand project cars

The title says it all. I want to get a project car, but my girlfriend doesn't see the point of it. Whenever I mention it she complains it's pointless and cost more than it's worth. Anyone know of a method of making a non gear head understand project cars?

fletus is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 10:05 AM   #2
Jeeper
 
Raiderfan001's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Knob Noster, MO
Posts: 6,910
Is it her money? Just do it.

Raiderfan001 is online now   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 10:07 AM   #3
Jeeper
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 42
Get her interested and involved in the project and in whatever it's use will be for, ie: modifying your Jeep? Take her off-roading.
__________________
"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough, never care to do anything else." Ernest Hemingway
Manhunter is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 10:08 AM   #4
Rock-Rubber

WF Supporting Member
 
GoldenSahara00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: SCPA
Posts: 16,555
Tell her you don't understand why she has to shop, or whatever the heck she does with her friends. It's a hobby you enjoy and she should be happy for you to do things you enjoy. Otherwise she's a POS girl. I don't mean it mean and don't say that to her obviously, but if you are in a relationship your supposed to be happy for the other person and encourage them in things they like to do.
__________________
Ryan - A good eye, a light foot, and a smart rig.
Bolt-ons are boring
AMERICAN JEEPER
My Build - http://www.wranglerforum.com/f118/pr...a00-74622.html
Rausch Creek Trip: 2014 Trip Coming Soon
GoldenSahara00 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 10:13 AM   #5
Jeeper
 
KittyPrawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 2,104
Images: 2
If she has no interest in cars, there probably isn't much you can do to change that. Unless she doesn't mind getting dirty, it may be a difficult sell to have her work on it for you. I'm not sure what kind of project car you're doing and your end goal for it, however. If it is a show car, you can maybe get her interested in the show process of it.

In the end though, I agree with Ryan. She's probably not really a girl who is worth your time. There is nothing wrong with having interests that are different. She doesn't have to be involved, but she shouldn't be nagging you either. I don't know anything about your relationship, or even what your other financial obligations are, but if you're not neglecting other bills for your hobby, then I don't really see why she should be involved.
__________________
Deb
2013 True Blue JKU Rubicon Goodbye Pontiac!
I drive a 4 door. There is more space for bacon inside.
KittyPrawn is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 10:31 AM   #6
Newb
 
fletus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 8
I have taken her off-roading numerous times, she loves it and wants to modify the jeep further. The car I'm looking to build is an old school muscle car, something fast and loud with the occasional show on the side.
fletus is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 10:40 AM   #7
Jeeper
 
dirtybiketrash's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: The Lost Plains of Iowa
Posts: 2,400
Images: 5
You have to show her the investment side of it. I have a Dodge Challenger that has consistently risen in value since I bought it. The money I have put into it hasn't evaporated, but I do the work myself, so it is just the cost of parts. I stick to sensible modifications, things that make sense.
__________________
Dozer Yellow 2012 JK Rubicon
6-Speed Manual / Black Hard Top
dirtybiketrash is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 10:40 AM   #8
Rock-Rubber

WF Supporting Member
 
GoldenSahara00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: SCPA
Posts: 16,555
Tell her how pretty she will look in it...
__________________
Ryan - A good eye, a light foot, and a smart rig.
Bolt-ons are boring
AMERICAN JEEPER
My Build - http://www.wranglerforum.com/f118/pr...a00-74622.html
Rausch Creek Trip: 2014 Trip Coming Soon
GoldenSahara00 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 10:42 AM   #9
Jeeper
 
Raiderfan001's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Knob Noster, MO
Posts: 6,910
Quote:
Originally Posted by dirtybiketrash View Post
You have to show her the investment side of it. I have a Dodge Challenger that has consistently risen in value since I bought it. The money I have put into it hasn't evaporated, but I do the work myself, so it is just the cost of parts. I stick to sensible modifications, things that make sense.
Cars are not an investment. Nothing but money pits. Mopar/rare cars can be an exception to the rule.
Raiderfan001 is online now   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 10:50 AM   #10
Newb
 
fletus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenSahara00
Tell her how pretty she will look in it...
Lol I like that idea
fletus is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 10:56 AM   #11
Rock-Rubber

WF Supporting Member
 
GoldenSahara00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: SCPA
Posts: 16,555
Quote:
Originally Posted by fletus View Post
Lol I like that idea
Especially if its true
__________________
Ryan - A good eye, a light foot, and a smart rig.
Bolt-ons are boring
AMERICAN JEEPER
My Build - http://www.wranglerforum.com/f118/pr...a00-74622.html
Rausch Creek Trip: 2014 Trip Coming Soon
GoldenSahara00 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 11:01 AM   #12
Jeeper
 
Brad48178's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 416
I'd get your project. If she doesn't like it and leaves you just remember you'll still have us. Lol wavey...
Brad48178 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 11:14 AM   #13
Jeeper
 
Z-TJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: SC/NC
Posts: 708
Name the car after her!
Z-TJ is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 12:37 PM   #14
Jeeper
 
whetstone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,959
My take will probably come out wrong, but...
This is a girlfriend, not your wife. Wife gets 50% say in how to budget/spend your household money, girlfriend gets 0% say so. Dating, or serious dating, is basically a test of compatibility. You're checking to see if she will make a good partner, and she's checking to see if you will. Do what you would do if you didn't have a girlfriend, and if its acceptable to both of you, great. If it isn't, move on and find someone who is more accepting of who you are, not who she wants to turn you into...
whetstone is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 12:59 PM   #15
Jeeper
 
ed98208's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Everett, WA
Posts: 390
I assume you must live together which gives her some say...? If not, get what you want and she can just get over it. But if she has to live with the project car too, then there's probably some underlying reason that she's against the idea. You could try asking her. Some guesses: Worried about the expense. Worried that your time spent on the project will just be time taken away from being with her (this is the one I would bet on). Worried about junker taking up space and never getting finished.
ed98208 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 01:28 PM   #16
Jeeper

WF Supporting Member
 
GreenRubi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 480
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenSahara00 View Post
Tell her you don't understand why she has to shop, or whatever the heck she does with her friends. It's a hobby you enjoy and she should be happy for you to do things you enjoy.
+1. Explain that men like to build and modify things. It is in our DNA and if she wants you to be happy she will understand (assuming you're spending / acting responsibly) and not try to change you. Also explain that there are things she will enjoy doing that will not interest you, but you won't discourage her from doing them (again, assuming she does them responsibly).

A lot of these understandings come with age and maturity. My wife now laughs that her plan was to change certain aspects of my behavior/habits once we were married (we've been married 20+ years now). Some made good sense and were for the better and others were more her personal preferences and didn't work out so well. Today she admits some of these were mistakes and she is very supportive of my hobbies... In any relationship there HAS to be give and take and respect and it is up to each couple to decide how much is enough and what they can or can't live with.
__________________
2008 Natural Green JK Rubicon
GreenRubi is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 01:44 PM   #17
Jeeper
 
ed98208's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Everett, WA
Posts: 390
To clarify my last post (can't edit anymore). As a woman I can tell you that the main worry when a man takes on a new hobby is that we'll have to give up something in return. Money for other things, time spent together, etc.. It's your job to make sure that she sees it as a win-win and not a "you-win-she-loses" scenario. Tell her that you won't let it suck up all your money. Tell her that you'll only work on it when she's busy doing other things and it won't affect your time together. Tell her that there are much worse things you could be doing for fun and at least she'll know where you are when she's not around. Think up a way more threatening alternative hobby - i.e. something where you would be gone more and meet lots of other women such as joining a band - and working on a car will suddenly seem like a much better idea.
ed98208 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 01:46 PM   #18
Jeeper
 
bamagirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,289
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenSahara00 View Post
Tell her how pretty she will look in it...
x2
__________________
Trust me, when I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome but sh!t happens
bamagirl is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 02:32 PM   #19
Jeeper
 
MarkinOhio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 465
Quote:
Whenever I mention it she complains it's pointless and cost more than it's worth
Is she serious? Is the relationship serious? Is SHE pointless? Does She cost more than she is worth?

If you cave on this, be prepared to cave on EVERY THING SHE WANTS.

Get your project, see what happens. Life is too short not to do the things you like to do, because someone else doesn't want you to do them.

IF she loves you, she will stay. If she goes, you will be better off in the long run. You will have saved many years, many tears, much time, and much money not pursuing a relationship that was doomed to fail.

If she stays, you know exactly where you stand. You are #1 to her, above all else. That's what you need to know now.

You can always sell the car. Hell, tell her she can drive it when its "finished" , HAHAHAHAHA.
__________________
“Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.” – Agnes Sligh Turnbull
MarkinOhio is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 02:37 PM   #20
Jeeper
 
KittyPrawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 2,104
Images: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by ed98208 View Post
I assume you must live together which gives her some say...? If not, get what you want and she can just get over it. But if she has to live with the project car too, then there's probably some underlying reason that she's against the idea. You could try asking her. Some guesses: Worried about the expense. Worried that your time spent on the project will just be time taken away from being with her (this is the one I would bet on). Worried about junker taking up space and never getting finished.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ed98208 View Post
To clarify my last post (can't edit anymore). As a woman I can tell you that the main worry when a man takes on a new hobby is that we'll have to give up something in return. Money for other things, time spent together, etc.. It's your job to make sure that she sees it as a win-win and not a "you-win-she-loses scenario. Tell her that you won't let it suck up all your money. Tell her that you'll only work on it when she's busy doing other things and it won't affect your time together. Tell her that there are much worse things you could be doing for fun and at least she'll know where you are when she's not around. Think up a way more threatening alternative hobby - i.e. something where you would be gone more and meet lots of other women such as joining a band - and working on a car will suddenly seem like a much better idea.
I'm sorry, but she needs to stop with the passive aggressive nonsense then. I always hear my friends complain that their men are ignoring them, but they never actually speak up about the problem.

Everything shouldn't cycle around her time and when she's not busy. She should also be able to step back and find something to entertain herself when he has something he wants to do. If he's spending too much time doing other things and not enough time with her, she either needs to speak up, leave, or deal with it

If her issue is she is afraid she will be made less of a priority, she needs to say something about that. Don't confuse the situation by giving another reason. That's pretty much manipulation.
__________________
Deb
2013 True Blue JKU Rubicon Goodbye Pontiac!
I drive a 4 door. There is more space for bacon inside.
KittyPrawn is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 04:58 PM   #21
Jeeper
 
angrysam's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: TC, MN
Posts: 35
It just took time with my wife. Started off where any accessory or vehicle was a battle. Now if we have the money, I get what I want/need no questions asked.

I think part of it helped when she got actively involved in helping me. She's even learning how to tack weld now.
__________________
'12 JKU, Auto, Sahara, 285/70R17 AT3 on 17x9 Ultra Crusher, TeraFlex leveling kit
angrysam is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-04-2013, 07:15 PM   #22
Commercial Member

WF Supporting Member
 
bostiguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Coaster Guy, Ma
Posts: 826
Quote:
Originally Posted by fletus View Post
The title says it all. I want to get a diamond ring, but my boyfriend doesn't see the point of it. Whenever I mention it he complains it's pointless and cost more than it's worth. Anyone know of a method of making a guy understand the importance of a diamond?
I changed your original post to show what she it posting in her world right now. Just imagine the responses going on over there on engaged-forum.com?

Not knowing your situation, I am guessing there could be part of her wishing you would buy a diamond and propose to her. If you were to buy a project car she may feel a proposal and possible future together will get delayed. This may have been her way of hinting to you. Unfortunately guys sometimes have to read between the lines.
How old are you and your girl?

bostiguy is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Jeep Wrangler Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



logo carid shop wrangler parts carid fender flares custom wheels store avs deflectors at carid
» Rates
Get low rates on auto insurance in Canada!

» Network Links
»Jeep Parts
» Featured Product

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:41 PM.



Jeep®, Wrangler, Liberty, Wagoneer, Cherokee, and Grand Cherokee are copyrighted and trademarked to Chrysler Motors LLC.
Wranglerforum.com is not in any way associated with the Chrysler Motors LLC