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Old 09-24-2007, 07:01 AM   #1
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Guy Rules

Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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Old 09-24-2007, 07:12 AM   #2
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Quote:
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Many wars have been waged over that subject, and I agree about time it was said.

Altho I watched a movie that had a little girl fall in and get stuck! It was prolly the most funny thing iv ever seen.

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Old 09-24-2007, 07:18 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Levinoss View Post
Altho I watched a movie that had a little girl fall in and get stuck! It was prolly the most funny thing iv ever seen.

~Lev

Yes but a life lesson was learned... She will NEVER go again and forget the seat. She will make a fine wife for someone some day.

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Old 09-24-2007, 10:03 AM   #4
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Great set of rules! They should put them on the first page of the woman's operator's manual for them to see!
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Old 09-24-2007, 12:56 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OdhinnsChick View Post
[SIZE=2]
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
The author has obviously never been to a gun show or outdoor expo.
Quote:
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Amen, I hate those french a fried colors.

[/QUOTE]
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Old 09-24-2007, 05:01 PM   #6
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Ha, usually the ladies response to the seat is that we pretty much pee outside all the time anyway, so why can't we just leave it down.
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Old 09-25-2007, 04:28 PM   #7
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I would rather a man leave the seat up then to pee all over it. :/
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Old 09-25-2007, 11:28 PM   #8
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I can't stand the entire lid up...too many stories of cell phones and crap falling in...call me supersticious, but i put the whole thing back down...
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Old 09-25-2007, 11:29 PM   #9
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or paranoid I should say
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Old 09-25-2007, 11:58 PM   #10
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looks like we should get a big tent!
men rule!

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