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Old 03-30-2009, 07:55 PM   #1
G54
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Guy's Rules for Women

Sorry if this has been posted before. I got this emailed to me and thought it was worth putting up for a chuckle.

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story..( i must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the Rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for...

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1... ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, fishing or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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Old 03-30-2009, 08:01 PM   #2
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haha this is great, but women already know all these things. they just ignore them and try to change us to how they want us to be. lol

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Old 03-30-2009, 08:12 PM   #3
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I agree with #1
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:16 PM   #4
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Quote:
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haha this is great, but women already know all these things. they just ignore them and try to change us to how they want us to be. lol
True, I have two ex-wives who are living proof.
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:31 PM   #5
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This should be printed on a quick reference card that she can keep on her keychain.
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:34 PM   #6
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Welcome to being hello kitty'd, Gus.
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:38 PM   #7
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Welcome to being hello kitty'd, Gus.
Hah! Wow! You surprised me. When I saw that you posted in this thread I was sure you were going to ask me if I just called you fat. (see #1)

BTW - who is the artist is that painted your avatar? If you know.

BTW 2 - Quit picking your nose.
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:39 PM   #8
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You're always calling me fat, Gus. I'm used to it.


Hey.... you look weird.
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:45 PM   #9
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HEY! What the...? Put that back!
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:47 PM   #10
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i like # 1 - 1
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:50 PM   #11
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HEY! What the...? Put that back!
Make me.



My avy is Tankgirl so could be Rufus Dayglo, and I'm getting the desert dirt out of it.
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:52 PM   #12
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Ok, I'll be nice..... is that right? That looks right.
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Old 03-30-2009, 09:02 PM   #13
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Tiny I agree with Gus, whats up with the avatar? Its extremely odd and slightly erotic all at the same time
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Old 03-30-2009, 09:10 PM   #14
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Ok, I'll be nice..... is that right? That looks right.
Yeah - now it's right - no thanks to you though.

My friggin' blood was rushing to my head.
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Old 03-30-2009, 09:38 PM   #15
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Tiny I agree with Gus, whats up with the avatar? Its extremely odd and slightly erotic all at the same time
What's wrong with it? I've had a tank girl avatar off and on since I joined WF.
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Old 03-30-2009, 09:47 PM   #16
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^ Nothing wrong with it, I actually like tank girl. I had never seen that photo before though.
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Old 03-30-2009, 09:59 PM   #17
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So the purpose of your question about my avatar was what?
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Old 03-30-2009, 10:47 PM   #18
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I am trying to figure out where I can put in my "situation" Dont get me wrong, I DO LOVE my wife, but she is a preacher by profession.... I learned early never to ask her how her day was as it will lead to a hour plus one sidded conversation, when all us guys need is one word... "Fine" or "crappy" That's it! REALLY! I dont need 20 minuets of "my McDonalds chicken sandwich was cold".....I made the mistake once of looking at her and saying "get to the point woman" ... need less to say I went out the next day and bought a comfortable sofa...
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Old 03-31-2009, 02:57 PM   #19
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^ Nothing wrong with it, I actually like tank girl. I had never seen that photo before though.
I think you hurt her feelings.
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Old 03-31-2009, 04:19 PM   #20
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I think you hurt her feelings.
I think you are right!


And to answer Tiny, I was just making random conversation like 50% of the other people on here, my post count is too small
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:05 PM   #21
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Nope. Mah feelings don't get hurt. Someone felt the avy was not in good taste.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:19 PM   #22
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I didn't think that it was in bad taste. This one of tank girl though - yeah - bad taste. Maybe she was wheelin' in the desert.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:20 PM   #23
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Didn't like the Mickey Mouse ears, huh?
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:23 PM   #24
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absolutely great!
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:35 PM   #25
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Didn't like the Mickey Mouse ears, huh?
Well - I am old enuf to have been a mouseketeer.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:36 PM   #26
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Yet, they are gone...
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:37 PM   #27
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We all have to grow up sometime.

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