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Old 04-16-2008, 03:57 PM   #1
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Have you guys seen this?




There are two types of folks in this world...

Those who are Native Texans!!!

&

Those who wish they were Texans





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Old 04-16-2008, 04:20 PM   #2
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As much as its has been sung about, is Lone Star Beer any good.

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Old 04-16-2008, 04:20 PM   #3
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... Have you ever seen the movie Lone Star State of Mind? Says a whole lot about the rest of your Texans.
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Old 04-16-2008, 04:32 PM   #4
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The fawker must know what he's talking about because there wasn't a line in that song about West Texas.

Oh, Lone Star isn't the best beer out there but it's really good when it's free.
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Old 04-16-2008, 04:46 PM   #5
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Lone Star Beer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scout View Post
The fawker must know what he's talking about because there wasn't a line in that song about West Texas.

Oh, Lone Star isn't the best beer out there but it's really good when it's free.

Over the last three years I can say I have had over 100 cases of it...

It's not bad I THINK!
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Old 04-16-2008, 05:32 PM   #6
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A M E N !

Texas, I'm coming home baby!

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Old 04-16-2008, 06:21 PM   #7
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A M E N !

Texas, I'm coming home baby!

~Lev
Texas, you've been warned.



EDIT: Lev I think they raided your compound last week, you might want to lay low for a while.
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Old 04-16-2008, 06:33 PM   #8
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Old 04-16-2008, 06:34 PM   #9
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1. People in Texas are stuck on themselves - Seriously - to hear Texans tell it, Texas is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Ad execs have been pandering to this for years with "Lone Star edition" trucks, "Big Tex" hamburgers, and even "Texas-sized savings" at your local grocery store. Enough already.
2. People in Texas are fat - 4 out of the 10 fattest cities in America are in Texas. Why? Probably because they "Texas-size" all the food portions. And with great barbecue, chicken-fried steaks, and Tex-Mex, that's not something that's likely to change. Ever heard of jogging, anyone?
3. Jerry Jones - The George Steinbrenner of the NFL. I love the 'boys, but I can understand how the rest of the NFL nation loathes this guy. And what's with the face-lift? Scary.
4. Nobody in Texas can drive - While Texans are generally more courteous drivers (except you, Houston), they are absolutely clueless when it comes to driving in rain or snow. There are more 5 mph wrecks when it snows than you can possibly imagine. One inch of snow? Cancel school and work, 'cause nobody's going anywhere. And has anyone ever heard of public transportation?
5. Dallas - Let's see, what to do in Dallas? There's the grassy knoll, and...nothing. Dallas is an absolutely awful city. Yet tons of tourists flock there every year to eat, shop, eat, and then eat some more.
6. Houston - NASA, Rice University and crappy sports. The world's largest sauna is also proud to be one of the world's largest parking lots. Never drive in Houston. Ever.
7. It's very close to Oklahoma - 'nuff said.
8. Political/business corruption - From Ma and Pa Ferguson to Enron, Texas has always been home to backroom deals and dirty politics.
9. High school football - Everything stops on Friday nights in Texas (during football season). People treat it like it's religion. For God's sake, people, it's high school.
10. Pat Green - I love to play the "how-many-times-is-he-gonna-say-'Texas'-in-this-song?" game (the same game can be played with 'beer'). This guy's a putz. We get it all ready, retard: you loooooooove Texas. Too bad you don't loooooooove writing decent songs (this goes for every other baseball-cap-wearin', name-dropping, 'Texas country' 'tard out there, too).
Did I forget anything?
.........................
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Old 04-16-2008, 06:48 PM   #10
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Not to defend Texans (I'm not a Texan)but, the Brits are not a very bright bunch.
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Old 04-16-2008, 07:21 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4point View Post
As much as its has been sung about, is Lone Star Beer any good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scout View Post
Oh, Lone Star isn't the best beer out there but it's really good when it's free.
Sorry man, Lone Star gives me a headache for days. Shiner is where it is at.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Smeghead View Post
.........................
Oh and Smeg...don't be a hater! Click Here or here or here or here or here or here or here
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Old 04-16-2008, 07:32 PM   #12
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.........................
You're from Arkansas, right?
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Old 04-16-2008, 07:37 PM   #13
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Old 04-16-2008, 10:48 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smeghead View Post
1. People in Texas are stuck on themselves - Seriously - to hear Texans tell it, Texas is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Ad execs have been pandering to this for years with "Lone Star edition" trucks, "Big Tex" hamburgers, and even "Texas-sized savings" at your local grocery store. Enough already.
2. People in Texas are fat - 4 out of the 10 fattest cities in America are in Texas. Why? Probably because they "Texas-size" all the food portions. And with great barbecue, chicken-fried steaks, and Tex-Mex, that's not something that's likely to change. Ever heard of jogging, anyone?
3. Jerry Jones - The George Steinbrenner of the NFL. I love the 'boys, but I can understand how the rest of the NFL nation loathes this guy. And what's with the face-lift? Scary.
4. Nobody in Texas can drive - While Texans are generally more courteous drivers (except you, Houston), they are absolutely clueless when it comes to driving in rain or snow. There are more 5 mph wrecks when it snows than you can possibly imagine. One inch of snow? Cancel school and work, 'cause nobody's going anywhere. And has anyone ever heard of public transportation?
5. Dallas - Let's see, what to do in Dallas? There's the grassy knoll, and...nothing. Dallas is an absolutely awful city. Yet tons of tourists flock there every year to eat, shop, eat, and then eat some more.
6. Houston - NASA, Rice University and crappy sports. The world's largest sauna is also proud to be one of the world's largest parking lots. Never drive in Houston. Ever.
7. It's very close to Oklahoma - 'nuff said.
8. Political/business corruption - From Ma and Pa Ferguson to Enron, Texas has always been home to backroom deals and dirty politics.
9. High school football - Everything stops on Friday nights in Texas (during football season). People treat it like it's religion. For God's sake, people, it's high school.
10. Pat Green - I love to play the "how-many-times-is-he-gonna-say-'Texas'-in-this-song?" game (the same game can be played with 'beer'). This guy's a putz. We get it all ready, retard: you loooooooove Texas. Too bad you don't loooooooove writing decent songs (this goes for every other baseball-cap-wearin', name-dropping, 'Texas country' 'tard out there, too).
Did I forget anything?.........................

1. When you hear it all the time, and we absorb 1500 northern transplants every single day, it just confirms what we already knew.
2. okay, can't really argue here, too much good TexMex food. But have you been to AR or IL lately?
3. And why wouldn't you want the most competitive, driven, successful, and rich person be the owner of your NFL team??? I'm waiting...
4. Okay, yes, many idiot drivers...BUT, get it right, for the most part we don't get "snow". I've seen native snow 4 times in my life. But we sure will get an ass load of sleet and frozen rain that coat the streets like a freakin hockey rink. Idon't care where you're from, the yanks aint exactly wheeling around on that stuff like it's summer either.

5. Touche', it does suck and filled with a bunch of metrosexual douche bags.
6. Again, no argument.
7. One of our most redeeming qualities...it's NOT Oklahoma!
8. Hey, gotta do what cha gotta do.

9. And? Sure, it gets way over the top, but don't knock it b/c you saw a movie or read a book. It's pretty neat in some of these small towns. And there's probably a few HS teams here that could beat some colleges.
10. Easy now. Two problems here: 1) you probably need to hear some real Texas Music first, and 2) the problem w/PG is he's nothing like he was when he would just show up at our frat house and hang out all day before his gig at the bar that night. But that was mid 90's before anybody knew who he was. He's pretty much a douche now and his music doesn't resemble what it once was. But there are several other amazing singer songwriters that don't resemble most of the crap heard on the top 40 rotation.
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Old 04-16-2008, 10:51 PM   #15
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Is it really that bad driving in Texas? Ive only done it once and it was ok

I didnt write any of that ^^^ by the way I just found it somewhere
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Old 04-16-2008, 11:15 PM   #16
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I'v lived up here in Missouri for about 7 months now and I'll say right here and now they drive with their heads up their asses.

Plain and simple horrible drivers anywhere within a 1-2 hour radius of STL. There are bad drivers everywhere and the example he used is a horrible example. In Texas it's rare we get snow that sticks to the ground or doesn't turn into a nice thick sheet of ice that no one can drive on.

I'm not originally from Texas but I have spent a good portion of my life in Texas. It's hard to leave it for very long.

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Old 04-16-2008, 11:53 PM   #17
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And in response to #1...

We're not stuck on ourselves, just proud...

Quote:
Why am I proud to be a Texan? Here are just a few of the things that cross our mind every day that make us proud.

Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the Rio Grande. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is.

What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?

Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go, "Wow...so you're from Iowa? Cool, tell me about it?"

Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican soldiers, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of independence.

We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and David Crockett, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes. Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Anna at San Jacinto.

Texas comes from the Hasinai Indian word tejas meaning friends or allies.

To drive across Texas is to drive 1/3 the way across the United States.

El Paso is closer to Needles, California than it is to Dallas.

Texas includes 267,339 square miles, or 7.4% of the nation's total area.

Texas is the only state to enter the United States by treaty instead of territorial annexation.

The state was an independent nation from 1836 to 1845.

By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland, California, or Maine, and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and Stripes anyplace else in Texas at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it is the only state that was a Republic before it became a state.

The state capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in Washington, D.C. (by 7 feet).

Texas can be divided into five states at any time if we wanted to! We included these things as part of the deal when we came on. That's the best part, right there.

Texas is wide open spaces, unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields and Indian Paint Brushes in the Texas Hill Country, deserts, plains, canyons, rolling hills, huge forests of Piney Woods, lakes and rivers, breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend, rolling prairies, beaches, thousands of acres of ranch and farm land, and modern cities. It has the terrain and scenery of 5 different states all in one.

The world's first rodeo was held in Pecos on July 4, 1883.

Texas is world record bass fishing.

Texas is world record deer hunting.

Texas boasts the nation's largest herd of whitetail deer.

Texas is Mexican food like nowhere else, not even Mexico.

The King Ranch in Texas is bigger than the state of Rhode Island.

The state's cattle population is estimated to be near 16 million.

More land is farmed in Texas than in any other state.

Texas is larger-than-life legends, actors, musicians like: Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, George Jones, Buddy Holly, Bob Wills, Don Henley, Steve Miller, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Johnny Mathis, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy, Tommy Lee Jones, Steve Martin, Janis Joplin, Kris Kristofferson, Roy Orbison, Boz Scaggs, Tom Landry, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Troy Aikman, George Foreman, Lee Trevino, Roger Staubach, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Sam Rayburn, Lyle Lovett, Howard Hughes, George H. W. Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, George W. Bush, George Strait, Lance Armstrong, Ernie Banks, Clyde Barrow, Randy Quaid, Dennis Quaid, Carol Burnett, Kate Capshaw, Joan Crawford, Sam Donaldson, Dan Rather, Sandy Duncan, Shelly Duvall, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Morgan Fairchild, Farrah Fawcett, Freddy Fender, Kenny Rogers, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Simpson, Phyllis George, Larry Hagman, Woody Harrelson, Ethan Hawke, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ben Hogan, BeyoncŤ Knowles, Barbara Mandrell, Matthew McConaughey, George "Spanky" McFarland, Larry McMurtry, Meat Loaf, Oliver North, Aaron Spelling, Rip Torn, Forest Whitaker, Renee Zellweger...just to name a few.

Texas is home to Dell and Compaq computers Texas Instruments and central Texas is often referred to as the Silicon Valley of the south. Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter, the JSF Fighter and NASA.

The Heisman trophy is named for John William Heisman the first full-time coach and athletic director at Rice University in Houston.

Texas is home to 2 NFL teams (sort of), 2 NBA teams, 2 MLB teams (sort of), 1 NHL team, 1 MLS team.

Texas has the first domed stadium in the country. The structure was built in Houston and opened in April 1965.

Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local high school football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday night.

Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885.

The first suspension bridge in the United States was the Waco Bridge. Built in 1870 and still in use today as a pedestrian crossing of the Brazos River.

Texas even has its own power grid!!

And we've always known:
"Texas could survive without the United States, but the United States could not survive without TEXAS." -Sam Houston
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Old 04-16-2008, 11:54 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smeghead View Post
I didnt write any of that ^^^ by the way I just found it somewhere
Yeah I saw that it was a quote. No worries.
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My RigRater Score: 387RRv1.0 with a BOA of 18.92 (and just how exactly is this going to help me over that big arse rock?)
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Old 04-17-2008, 12:53 AM   #19
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I like it here in Texas... Sometimes.
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Old 04-17-2008, 01:15 AM   #20
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I like it here in Texas... Sometimes.
Man, that was luke warm at best. I'm sure I wouldn't be to thrilled if I lived in El Paso either. JK
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Old 04-17-2008, 07:41 AM   #21
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Quote:
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Is it really that bad driving in Texas? Ive only done it once and it was ok

I didnt write any of that ^^^ by the way I just found it somewhere
I've driven throuogh Houston...won't again, sucks. 635 around Dallas is crowded, but most everyone is doing 60 or above most of the time. Out here in Charleston, SC rush hour runs down a 15 mile stretch of I-26 and creeps at 20mph because people change lanes as soon as the one next to them lets a car move up a little farther than you.
If there are blue lights flashing from a car pulled over or a little fender bender OFF the side of the road, everyone has to look to make sure all are okay...5mph for another 20 minutes. People here are far worse than Texas drivers. I'll take DFW traffic any day.
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Old 04-17-2008, 10:30 AM   #22
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I'll take DFW traffic any day.


Prolly the first and last time I'll ever hear that.

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Old 04-17-2008, 11:16 AM   #23
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I thought I remember hearing something about steers and queers....

Nah, that can't be Texas...must be Arkansas or some other state.

I like Texas but they can't seem to make a good chocolate milkshake.
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Old 04-17-2008, 02:15 PM   #24
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Cali vs Texas.... And the winner is!

CALIFORNIA:

- I can wear sandals all year long

- I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore"

-Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours. Well...Miami
can hang.

- I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude"
and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight"
and "bro" and I say them often

- I know what real cheese & avocados taste like

-Everyone smokes weed and its no big deal

-We'll roll up 40 deep when something goes down.

-I live next door to Mexicans, but we call them
American's!

-All the porn you watch is made here, cause we're
better and thats how it is

- I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow
in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear

- I know 65 mph really means 100

- When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and
the finger and high speed chase cuz we dont ****
around on the road

- The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14
(legally 18 if you live close enough to the border)

- My governor can kick your governors ***

- I can go out at midnight

-You judge people based on what area code they
live in, and when asked where you're from, you
give your area code

- I might get looked at funny by locals when
I'm on vacation in their state, but when they
find out I'm from California I turn into a
Greek GOD

- We don't stop at stop signs... we do a
"california roll"
No cop no stop baby!

- I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24
hours a day

- All the TV shows you "other" states watch
get filmed here

- We're the Golden State. Not the Cheese
State. Not the Garden State.....GOLDEN!!!

- We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are
lucky we share that with them)

- I have the most representation in the
House of Representatives, which means MY
opinion means more than yours, which means I'm
better than you [geez.... hahaha]

- The best athletes come from here

*******IF YOU'RE FROM CALIFORNIA, REPOST THIS*******
******IF YOU'RE NOT, GO SIT IN A CORNER AND CRY******

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


TEXAS:

Ahem... So.. Um.. yeah... I read this, and thought
I would reply...


Hey... California listen up... Texas is where its at!

- I too can wear sandals all year long... plus I can
put on boots to stomp your toes and I won't even stick
out.

- You may be able to go to the "beach" instead of the
"shore"... but can you go to the drive thru "Beer Barn?"
What now surfer boy? We got beaches too.

- You're chicks aren't way hotter than ours... they are
almost equal... and thats only due to silicone, saline,
botox, lasers and hair dye... We have the real ones and
they can kick your's a#^%.

- We're taught to say "Yes Sir" and "Yes Ma'am" and
respect our elders because of it. We also say "Howdy"
and "fixin" and "Yall" are pretty much recognized
right away anywhere in the world Smiley We're famous

- You may know what real cheese and avocados taste like...
but I know what 100% Grade A Angus Beef tastes like. Who wants
avocados and cheese when you can have steak and potatoes?

- Haha... who do you think grows the weed and sells it to
you?

- Why roll 40 deep when something goes down if 5 corn fed
country boys can get the job done...

- I live next door to Americans, but we call them Mexicans.
Which they are proud of.

- About your Porn.... 3 words... "Debbie Does Dallas"...
You can brag about it now, but we started it

- Why would you brag about not getting snow days off?

- We're smart enough to know 65mph means 65, but our
LEGAL speed limit is 70.

- - When someone cuts me off, they get run over by my big
*** truck, then I give them the finger and tell them to go
back to California.

- The drinking age is 21, but if you aren't chasing the
beer by 12 months old... you're behind.

- Yeah, Well my governor became the President of the
United States... yours isn't even eligible.

- You can go out at midnight? Thats nice, I haven't
even come home by then.

- Ok... you said,"You judge people based on what
area code they live in, and when asked where you're
from, you give your area code" and as hard as I try
I have no idea what you're talking about... I think
you're watching too much TV.

- Yeah, you'll definitely get looked at funny when
you come to visit but we have another name for you
pretty boys, and its not Greek, its French.

- Of course you don't stop at stop signs... none of
you can drive.

- You can pick up Real Mexican food 24 hours a day huh...
well we have that too PLUS I can swing by home depot and
pick up 24 Real Mexicans anytime of day. Can you say
catering?

- All the TV shows get filmed there... but where does your
favorite poker game come from? Texas Hold'em anyone?

- You can keep your golden state... We're the Lone Star
State...the one and only!!

- Do I have to remind you about the drive thru Beer Barn
again? Does In-N-Out serve alcohol? (Oh and did I mention
Dr. Pepper was created in Texas?)[TEXAS does have an In-N-Out
as well. Liberty, Texas, baby...so stick that in your juice
box and suck it!]

-And who gives a sh*t about In-N-Out! Let's not forget about
the best place in the world to get a burger..... WHATABURGER!!!!
(they have the best ketchup in the world & that's cause it's
FANCY!) I've had In-N-Out & personally it sucks big donkey butt!!
WHAT-A-BURGER!!! Only in TEXAS, baby!

- You guys have the best athletes huh?... Nine words... Lance
Armstrong and The University of Texas at Austin - the biggest
and best university in the world.

-Oh and remind me again who won the Rose Bowl between USC and
Texas?Huh? I believe it was the LONGHORNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Every thing is bigger in TEXAS

- Cali, your sinking

Though I could mention MICHAEL JOHNSON - Olympic Sprinter,
World record holder in 200m and 400m, 5 Olympic Gold medals,
9 time World Champion (born Dallas, TX)

- Football is a religion, not a sport

- In Texas, football means football, not soccer.

- 90% of football "movies" you guys are making are about
Texas Football.

-Varsity Blues, filmed in Georgetown, TX - Friday Night
Lights, filmed in Odessa & Houston TX - Necessary Roughness,
filmed in San Marcos, Texas.

- Texas is the only state that can still separate to become
its own country. The only way California's gonna accomplish
that is if another earthquake comes along and you guys sink
into the ocean. Can you say Atlantis.... hahaha

-Only our state flag can be flown at equal height with the
national flag (republic of Texas b*@#*%)

-Our Capital Dome is bigger than the one in Washington D.C.
and there is a clause in our state's constitution that says
that Texas will secede from the union if it doesn't remain
the biggest

- And we can just plain kick your sunshine asses!!

Come on Texans Show Your Colors! Repost!

And as the Great Sam Houston once said "Texas could survive
without the United States, but the United States could not
survive without Texas"
__________________
See you on the trail again soon,
Greg
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Greg Machado
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Jeep Tales Founder
www.jeeptales.com

210.383.4734
Iím not an Off-Road EnthusiastÖ
Itís just that Iím Pavement Impaired.

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Old 04-17-2008, 02:41 PM   #25
Wrecktrician
 
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Location: Central Sierra
Posts: 7,351
Duuuued, like why you bagging on Cali.......................
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Old 04-17-2008, 03:03 PM   #26
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I saw that somewhere else!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 4point View Post
Duuuued, like why you bagging on Cali.......................
It looked like it would fit this thread so I borrowed it!

I like CALI it's a Great place to visit...

But I always get a round trip ticket.
__________________
See you on the trail again soon,
Greg
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Greg Machado
greg@jeeptales.com
Jeep Tales Founder
www.jeeptales.com

210.383.4734
Iím not an Off-Road EnthusiastÖ
Itís just that Iím Pavement Impaired.

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Old 04-17-2008, 05:06 PM   #27
Wrecktrician
 
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Central Sierra
Posts: 7,351
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeeptales View Post
It looked like it would fit this thread so I borrowed it!

I like CALI it's a Great place to visit...

But I always get a round trip ticket.
My motto: Welcome to California.............................take someone with you when you leave.
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Old 04-17-2008, 05:45 PM   #28
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Location: over yonder...in Tejas
Posts: 857
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4point View Post
My motto: Welcome to California.............................take someone with you when you leave.

I've heard a similar saying here: "thanks for visiting, now please leave and take two illegals with you".
__________________

04 Sahara, with a lift, some stuff, and a few things, on some 33's, blah, blah, blah.
A perpetual work in progress. Too much to list, not nearly enough to matter.
My RigRater Score: 387RRv1.0 with a BOA of 18.92 (and just how exactly is this going to help me over that big arse rock?)
http://www.myjeepsite.com/nregas1

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Old 04-18-2008, 12:58 AM   #29
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Jeffersontown
Posts: 5,540
Quote:

TEXAS:

Ahem... So.. Um.. yeah... I read this, and thought
I would reply...


Hey... California listen up... Texas is where its at!

- I too can wear sandals all year long... plus I can
put on boots to stomp your toes and I won't even stick
out.

- You may be able to go to the "beach" instead of the
"shore"... but can you go to the drive thru "Beer Barn?"
What now surfer boy? We got beaches too.

- You're chicks aren't way hotter than ours... they are
almost equal... and thats only due to silicone, saline,
botox, lasers and hair dye... We have the real ones and
they can kick your's a#^%.

- We're taught to say "Yes Sir" and "Yes Ma'am" and
respect our elders because of it. We also say "Howdy"
and "fixin" and "Yall" are pretty much recognized
right away anywhere in the world Smiley We're famous

- You may know what real cheese and avocados taste like...
but I know what 100% Grade A Angus Beef tastes like. Who wants
avocados and cheese when you can have steak and potatoes?

- Haha... who do you think grows the weed and sells it to
you?

- Why roll 40 deep when something goes down if 5 corn fed
country boys can get the job done...


- I live next door to Americans, but we call them Mexicans.
Which they are proud of.

- About your Porn.... 3 words... "Debbie Does Dallas"...
You can brag about it now, but we started it

- Why would you brag about not getting snow days off?

- We're smart enough to know 65mph means 65, but our
LEGAL speed limit is 70.

- - When someone cuts me off, they get run over by my big
*** truck, then I give them the finger and tell them to go
back to California.

- The drinking age is 21, but if you aren't chasing the
beer by 12 months old... you're behind.

- Yeah, Well my governor became the President of the
United States... yours isn't even eligible.

- You can go out at midnight? Thats nice, I haven't
even come home by then.

- Ok... you said,"You judge people based on what
area code they live in, and when asked where you're
from, you give your area code" and as hard as I try
I have no idea what you're talking about... I think
you're watching too much TV.

- Yeah, you'll definitely get looked at funny when
you come to visit but we have another name for you
pretty boys, and its not Greek, its French.

- Of course you don't stop at stop signs... none of
you can drive.

- You can pick up Real Mexican food 24 hours a day huh...
well we have that too PLUS I can swing by home depot and
pick up 24 Real Mexicans anytime of day. Can you say
catering?

- All the TV shows get filmed there... but where does your
favorite poker game come from? Texas Hold'em anyone?

- You can keep your golden state... We're the Lone Star
State...the one and only!!

- Do I have to remind you about the drive thru Beer Barn
again? Does In-N-Out serve alcohol? (Oh and did I mention
Dr. Pepper was created in Texas?)[TEXAS does have an In-N-Out
as well. Liberty, Texas, baby...so stick that in your juice
box and suck it!]

-And who gives a sh*t about In-N-Out! Let's not forget about
the best place in the world to get a burger..... WHATABURGER!!!!
(they have the best ketchup in the world & that's cause it's
FANCY!) I've had In-N-Out & personally it sucks big donkey butt!!
WHAT-A-BURGER!!! Only in TEXAS, baby!

- You guys have the best athletes huh?... Nine words... Lance
Armstrong and The University of Texas at Austin - the biggest
and best university in the world.

-Oh and remind me again who won the Rose Bowl between USC and
Texas?Huh? I believe it was the LONGHORNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Every thing is bigger in TEXAS

- Cali, your sinking

Though I could mention MICHAEL JOHNSON - Olympic Sprinter,
World record holder in 200m and 400m, 5 Olympic Gold medals,
9 time World Champion (born Dallas, TX)

- Football is a religion, not a sport

- In Texas, football means football, not soccer.

- 90% of football "movies" you guys are making are about
Texas Football.

-Varsity Blues, filmed in Georgetown, TX - Friday Night
Lights, filmed in Odessa & Houston TX - Necessary Roughness,
filmed in San Marcos, Texas.

- Texas is the only state that can still separate to become
its own country. The only way California's gonna accomplish
that is if another earthquake comes along and you guys sink
into the ocean. Can you say Atlantis.... hahaha

-Only our state flag can be flown at equal height with the
national flag (republic of Texas b*@#*%)

-Our Capital Dome is bigger than the one in Washington D.C.
and there is a clause in our state's constitution that says
that Texas will secede from the union if it doesn't remain
the biggest

- And we can just plain kick your sunshine asses!!

Come on Texans Show Your Colors! Repost!

And as the Great Sam Houston once said "Texas could survive
without the United States, but the United States could not
survive without Texas"
AMEN

~Lev
__________________

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."
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Old 04-18-2008, 11:21 AM   #30
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Odessa,TX
Posts: 1,625
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Just here to help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levinoss View Post
AMEN

~Lev
I'm so glad you liked that!

I just wonder why we have not heard form Tiny on this one yet?

__________________
See you on the trail again soon,
Greg
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http://jeeptales.com/jeeptales468X60.gif
Greg Machado
greg@jeeptales.com
Jeep Tales Founder
www.jeeptales.com

210.383.4734
Iím not an Off-Road EnthusiastÖ
Itís just that Iím Pavement Impaired.

http://www.jpfreek.com/web/grille.jpg
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