How about a joke thread? Keep em' clean - Jeep Wrangler Forum
Jeep Wrangler Forum

Go Back   Jeep Wrangler Forum > General Discussion Forums > Off-Topic

Join Wrangler Forum Today


Reply
 
Thread Tools

Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about them on WranglerForum.com
Old 02-22-2007, 02:32 PM   #1
Jeeper
 
Iquois's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 513
Talking How about a joke thread? Keep em' clean

What is the difference between an Alabama cheerleader and trash? .....................




ans....trash gets taken out once a week!!!

__________________
88 Wrangler, inline 6, 5 spd, 8.8 rear end w/3.73 gearing, lifted, mud tires, sound bar w/cd player, Olympic Rock Slider, tube front bumper, herculined and the rest is pretty much stock
Iquois is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 02:52 PM   #2
Jeeper
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: columbus
Posts: 2,151
Send a message via AIM to rebelBullDawg325
why did university of tennesse pick orange as their color? they can work trash detail in it on friday, play football in it on saturday, and go deer hunting in it on sunday

rebelBullDawg325 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 03:18 PM   #3
delicate %$^&*@ flower

WF Lifetime Member
 
tiny terror's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: California
Posts: 14,753
yeah, i moved it
tiny terror is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 06:52 PM   #4
Jeeper
 
Iquois's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 513
Clintons......

After 30 yrs of marriage, Hillary became suspcious of a locked chest in their bedroom so she decided to open it. Inside the chest, she found 3 ears of corn in one corner and $279 in the other. Puzzled by her find, she asked Bill what it was for! Bill explained to her that every time he cheated on her, he put a ear of corn in the chest. Hillary thought about it and told Bill that after 30 yrs, cheating on her just three times wasn't all that bad. Then she asked him what the $279 was for. He told her that everytime he got a bushel of corn, he sold it!! ;-0
__________________
88 Wrangler, inline 6, 5 spd, 8.8 rear end w/3.73 gearing, lifted, mud tires, sound bar w/cd player, Olympic Rock Slider, tube front bumper, herculined and the rest is pretty much stock
Iquois is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 06:59 PM   #5
Jeeper
 
Boulderv7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 127
Did you hear about that new Pirate movie? ....... its rated ARRRRHHH!!!!

I know- its a horrible joke... so bad I laugh every time!
__________________
Boulderv7

.....01 TJ 4 banger, 2 in lift, 32x11.5 on 15x10 black steelies.....
Boulderv7 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 07:06 PM   #6
Jeeper
 
Iquois's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 513
Georgia football

Three Georgia football freshmen were taking an exam which they had to pass in order to play football the following season. The athletic director pleaded with the examiner to make it a fill in the blank test thinking this would make it easier for the players to pass.

The examiner agrees and begins the test:
Ole McDonald had a _____, the first player jumped up in his seat and yelled "farm!", the examiner said yes very good. Now spell it. The second player leaps up on his feet and says " EIEIO!!! "
__________________
88 Wrangler, inline 6, 5 spd, 8.8 rear end w/3.73 gearing, lifted, mud tires, sound bar w/cd player, Olympic Rock Slider, tube front bumper, herculined and the rest is pretty much stock
Iquois is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 07:08 PM   #7
Jeeper
 
Iquois's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 513
;-(

Quote:
Originally Posted by tiny terror View Post
yeah, i moved it
You really know how to hurt a guy ............ ;-(
__________________
88 Wrangler, inline 6, 5 spd, 8.8 rear end w/3.73 gearing, lifted, mud tires, sound bar w/cd player, Olympic Rock Slider, tube front bumper, herculined and the rest is pretty much stock
Iquois is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 07:57 PM   #8
Jeeper
 
lost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ɹǝʌo dılɟ Miami,FL
Posts: 2,165
how many womans rights activists does it take to change a light bulb?




























none. womans rights activists cant change anything.
__________________
74'cj5: 360v8, d30, d44, 32"BFG a/t's
73'cj5: 258, d30, d44
00'tj:242
lost is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 08:16 PM   #9
Pushy, Loudmouthed, and Ballsy
 
Dare2BSquare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Driving Around Arkansas In My Black XJ
Posts: 6,177
The joke's going to be on you when the women on the forum see this joke.
__________________
99 XJ Sport
4.0l
AW4
NP231
d30/C8.25
3" Skyjacker lift
31 x 10.50 General Grabbers


http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...are/TMLogo.gif Are all fishermen liars, or do only liars fish?
Dare2BSquare is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 08:43 PM   #10
Jeeper
 
Iquois's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 513
Talking Lil Johnny

Teacher was giving words to the class to make a sentence with. After several students completed sentences correctly, the teacher came up on the word auditorium. Now since lil Johnny was the class potty mouth, the teacher thought she would give this word to Lil Johnny. After all, how could he possibly use this word to make a dirty sentence.

So the teacher says, "Lil Johnny, give me a sentence using the word auditorium. Lil Johnny thinks and thinks and finally says, "I went out on a date with little Suzy last Saturday night. She had on some very tight blue jeans, couldn't pull em off, couldn't tear them off.............aud-a-tor-em
__________________
88 Wrangler, inline 6, 5 spd, 8.8 rear end w/3.73 gearing, lifted, mud tires, sound bar w/cd player, Olympic Rock Slider, tube front bumper, herculined and the rest is pretty much stock
Iquois is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 09:15 PM   #11
Jeeper
 
lost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ɹǝʌo dılɟ Miami,FL
Posts: 2,165
A man gets home, screeches his car into the
driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and
shouts at the top of his lungs, "Honey, pack your
bags. I won the lottery!"

The wife says, "Oh, my God! What should I pack,
beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter", he says. "Just get the **** out."
.................................................. .......................


How many men does it take to open a beer?


















None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.


.................................................. ............................


How do you fix a woman's watch?





You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
__________________
74'cj5: 360v8, d30, d44, 32"BFG a/t's
73'cj5: 258, d30, d44
00'tj:242
lost is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 09:16 PM   #12
Pushy, Loudmouthed, and Ballsy
 
Dare2BSquare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Driving Around Arkansas In My Black XJ
Posts: 6,177
Not exactly jokes, but humorous...

1.) Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2.) A day without sunshine is like . . Night.

3.) On the other hand..... you have different fingers

4.) 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5.) 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6.) Remember, half the people you know are below average.

7.) He who laughs last....... thinks slowest.

8.) Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

9.) The early bird may get the worm..... but the second mouse gets the
cheese in the trap.

10.) Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

11.) A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

12.) Change is inevitable....... except from vending machines.

13.) If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

14.) How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.

15.) OK, so what's the speed of dark?

16.) When everything is coming your way...... you're in the wrong lane.

17.) Hard work pays off in the future........ Laziness pays off now.

18.) Every one has a photographic memory...... Some just don't have film.

19.) How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

20.) Eagles may soar...... but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

21.) What happens if you get scared half to death...... twice?

22.) I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23.) Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

24.) Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what
happened.

25.) Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

26.) Light travels faster than sound........ That's why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.

27.) Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . . It's more like a jar
of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
__________________
99 XJ Sport
4.0l
AW4
NP231
d30/C8.25
3" Skyjacker lift
31 x 10.50 General Grabbers


http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...are/TMLogo.gif Are all fishermen liars, or do only liars fish?
Dare2BSquare is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 09:20 PM   #13
Jeeper
 
Iquois's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 513
Speed of light

If your car travels at the speed of light, would your headlights do you any good?
__________________
88 Wrangler, inline 6, 5 spd, 8.8 rear end w/3.73 gearing, lifted, mud tires, sound bar w/cd player, Olympic Rock Slider, tube front bumper, herculined and the rest is pretty much stock
Iquois is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 09:33 PM   #14
Jeeper
 
lost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ɹǝʌo dılɟ Miami,FL
Posts: 2,165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dare2BSquare View Post
The joke's going to be on you when the women on the forum see this joke.
no it's not
__________________
74'cj5: 360v8, d30, d44, 32"BFG a/t's
73'cj5: 258, d30, d44
00'tj:242
lost is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 09:41 PM   #15
WINNAR!!!!!!
 
MR.CLIFFORD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: THE PROVING GROUNDS
Posts: 6,530
Scout and Clifford were out for a night on the town. Scout starts tossing them back as he usually does when he realized he shouldn't have had that double of tequila. :BARRRF:!! All down his shirt.

Scout: "Oh no Clifford! What am I going to do? If my wife finds out I've been drinking again she will kill me!"

Clifford: "Just put 20 dollars in your shirt pocket. When your wife finds it tell her some dude threw up on you and gave you cash for the dry cleaning bill"

So Scout proceeds to top the night off. A couple days later Scouts wife pulls him into the laundry room with a nasty look on her face.

Scouts wife: "SCOUT! Were you out drinking again?? There is puke all over your shirt!"

Scout: "No honey! Some guy threw up on my shirt and gave me 20 dollars for the dry cleaning."

Scouts wife: "But there is 40 dollars here!"

Scout: "Yea! He crapped my pants too!"
MR.CLIFFORD is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 09:50 PM   #16
Extremely Humble

WF Lifetime Member
 
Scout's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Midland Texas
Posts: 11,549
Images: 12
I hate you.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot --> <---
__________________

|
|

03 Rubicon | 36" Iroks | Chromo D44's w/Rear Spool | 5.5" RK LA | 5.13s | Armored Head to Toe
Scout is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 09:59 PM   #17
Jeeper
 
lost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ɹǝʌo dılɟ Miami,FL
Posts: 2,165
true story?
__________________
74'cj5: 360v8, d30, d44, 32"BFG a/t's
73'cj5: 258, d30, d44
00'tj:242
lost is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 10:00 PM   #18
Extremely Humble

WF Lifetime Member
 
Scout's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Midland Texas
Posts: 11,549
Images: 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by lost View Post
that really happened, didn't it.
No. I hate you too.
__________________

|
|

03 Rubicon | 36" Iroks | Chromo D44's w/Rear Spool | 5.5" RK LA | 5.13s | Armored Head to Toe
Scout is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 10:06 PM   #19
Jeeper
 
lost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ɹǝʌo dılɟ Miami,FL
Posts: 2,165
A HOT female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.
The female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."
The drunk replies; "Tits."
__________________
74'cj5: 360v8, d30, d44, 32"BFG a/t's
73'cj5: 258, d30, d44
00'tj:242
lost is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 10:52 PM   #20
Jeeper
 
lost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ɹǝʌo dılɟ Miami,FL
Posts: 2,165
It was a beautiful, warm spring morning. A man and his wife were

spending the day at the zoo.

She was wearing a loose-fitting, pink dress -- sleeveless with straps.
He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a

large, silverback gorilla.
Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars,and
holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunted and pounded his chest
with his free hand.
He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.

He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering
her lips and wiggling her bottom.
She played along and the gorilla got even more excited making noises
that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show
a ittle more skin. She did, and the gorilla was about to tear the bars
down.

"Now show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said.
This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the
cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.

Then said, "Now, tell him you have a headache."
__________________
74'cj5: 360v8, d30, d44, 32"BFG a/t's
73'cj5: 258, d30, d44
00'tj:242
lost is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-22-2007, 11:03 PM   #21
Jeeper
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: columbus
Posts: 2,151
Send a message via AIM to rebelBullDawg325
3 guys walk into a bar....the 4th one ducks
rebelBullDawg325 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-23-2007, 03:48 PM   #22
Really?

WF Lifetime Member
 
ccain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SoCal
Posts: 6,453
Images: 9
A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.

Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am," the Sergeant Major said, "Just serious by nature."

"The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

The Sergeant Major's short reply was, "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action"

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself"

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, "1955."

She said, "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, No sex since 1955 She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times."

Afterwards, and panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice,
"I hope not, it's only 2130 now."
ccain is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-23-2007, 03:59 PM   #23
delicate %$^&*@ flower

WF Lifetime Member
 
tiny terror's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: California
Posts: 14,753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iquois View Post
You really know how to hurt a guy ............ ;-(
it's a gift.
tiny terror is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-23-2007, 04:03 PM   #24
Jeeper
 
Unlimited's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Gone.... and most likely forgotten.
Posts: 3,044
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiny terror View Post
it's a gift.
She makes them cry.....
Unlimited is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-23-2007, 04:05 PM   #25
delicate %$^&*@ flower

WF Lifetime Member
 
tiny terror's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: California
Posts: 14,753
tiny terror is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-23-2007, 04:10 PM   #26
Jeeper
 
Unlimited's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Gone.... and most likely forgotten.
Posts: 3,044
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiny terror View Post
See..... I told ya!
Unlimited is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-23-2007, 06:25 PM   #27
Jeeper
 
Iquois's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 513
Superman

Superman decided he would like to go to the beach, so he called batman and said, "hey batman, lets cruise down to the beach and check out some chicks!"

Batman said, "No, can't go, to many criminals to catch."

Superman says ok and flys off.

Superman then finds spiderman and says, "hey spiderman, lets cruise down to the beach and check out some chicks!"

Spiderman says, "No, can't go, to many criminals to catch."

Superman says forget them and takes off to the beach alone. As he is flying over the beach, he looks down and sees wonderwoman lying naked on the beach. He zips down there, does his thing and takes off.

Wonderwoman says, "What the *#"* was that!!"


The invisableman says, "I don't know, but he like to tore my arse up!!"
__________________
88 Wrangler, inline 6, 5 spd, 8.8 rear end w/3.73 gearing, lifted, mud tires, sound bar w/cd player, Olympic Rock Slider, tube front bumper, herculined and the rest is pretty much stock
Iquois is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-24-2007, 07:48 PM   #28
Really?

WF Lifetime Member
 
ccain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SoCal
Posts: 6,453
Images: 9
What's the definition of mixed emotions?
-- When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your TJ.

What's the height of conceit?
-- Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

What's the definition of macho?
-- Jogging home from your own vasectomy

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
-- One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The
other is used to carry groceries.

Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
-- Because it scares the heck out of the dog.

How do you double the value of a Yugo?
-- You fill it with gas.

What do the LAPD and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
-- Neither of them can stop a Bronco.

I walked in a bar the other day and ordered a double.
-- The bartender brings out a guy who looks just like me.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
-- Anyone can roast beef.

What is forty feet long and has eight teeth?
-- The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
-- God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
ccain is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-24-2007, 10:24 PM   #29
Jeeper
 
Iquois's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 513
Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson and XBox have in common?
Both get turned on by 12 yr olds......

What does Michael Jackson like about 23 yr olds?
Theres 20 of them.........
__________________
88 Wrangler, inline 6, 5 spd, 8.8 rear end w/3.73 gearing, lifted, mud tires, sound bar w/cd player, Olympic Rock Slider, tube front bumper, herculined and the rest is pretty much stock
Iquois is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 02-25-2007, 08:38 PM   #30
Jeeper

WF Supporting Member
 
chucky cheese's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: We eat stuff outa ditches!
Posts: 3,902
boy squirrel to girl squirrel, come up to my tree and i'll show you my nuts!

__________________
It ain't easy being cheesy:

Sometimes I make decisions like famous people.
George Armstrong Custer "lets go over that hill, I think those are friendly indians!"

Titanic's Captain Smith "What icebergs? Full speed ahead!"
chucky cheese is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Jeep Wrangler Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Offical WF Beer Review Thread... ccain Off-Topic 56 07-06-2013 02:49 PM
How to Multi-Quote Scout Off-Topic 27 02-16-2012 03:47 PM
Which Thread is that? nicolas-eric TJ General Discussion Forum 24 11-28-2007 07:04 PM


logo carid shop wrangler parts carid fender flares custom wheels store avs deflectors at carid
» Rates
Get low rates on auto insurance in Canada!

» Network Links
»Jeep Parts
» Featured Product

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:56 AM.



Jeep®, Wrangler, Liberty, Wagoneer, Cherokee, and Grand Cherokee are copyrighted and trademarked to Chrysler Motors LLC.
Wranglerforum.com is not in any way associated with the Chrysler Motors LLC