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Old 03-08-2010, 06:38 PM   #1
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I won.

I entered a writing contest a few weeks ago... sort of forgot about it, too. It was a hook contest and the entries were limited to 200 words. Here's mine...


Outside the state hospital, the dead gathered. They peered up at my caged window even when I chose not to look out.

“Tomlinson, Francis?”

I nodded and continued lacing my boots.

“Here are the medications the doctor ordered. Now please remember to take them everyday so we don’t have another episode. Ok?”

“Yes, I will.” No, I won’t.

She ran a scanner over my wrist. It beeped, confirming I was one of the watched. Not everyone had chips in them, just a lucky few.

“This is your sixth time here, young lady. How about we try not to make it a seventh? You’re running out of chances to obey the directive. Surgery is next.”

“But I like it here.”

The lanky woman handed me a paper bag of the possessions I’d had three days ago when the police dropped me off. The carton of orange juice was ruined and all the items in my wallet had been removed and carefully put back.

“I’m sure you don’t. The hallucinations should all be gone. If you continue to take your medications you won’t be bothered by them again and neither will anyone else. Do you understand?”

I did, but it changed nothing.

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Old 03-08-2010, 06:44 PM   #2
that's what she said

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is this in another book, or did you write it just for the contest? congrats on the win, too.

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Old 03-08-2010, 06:54 PM   #3
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New book.
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Old 03-08-2010, 06:57 PM   #4
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Very good Who are some of your favorite writers?
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Old 03-08-2010, 06:57 PM   #5
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autobiography?
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:02 PM   #6
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Congratulations on the win, Tiny. Do you have more of this story written? It sounds really interesting.
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:03 PM   #7
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Very good Who are some of your favorite writers?
Vonnegut, Holdstock, Burst, Kesey, Kadrey, Barker... I could go on and on.
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:04 PM   #8
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Congratulations. If you get famous, will you leave all this behind?
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:04 PM   #9
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why must you taunt me with these small bits of story? now i want to read the whole thing.
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:05 PM   #10
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very nice Tiny
your stories give me the heebie geebees
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:06 PM   #11
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Vonnegut, Holdstock, Burst, Kesey, Kadrey, Barker... I could go on and on.
Vonnegut is my favorite writer of all time, hence my screen name. He was an amazing person RIP. You write pretty good, wish I had your talent
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:06 PM   #12
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Congrats Tiny, that is awesome. It is so cool that you are a good writer, it's a skill I really admire. I grew up reading voraciously & anyone who has a way with words that can hook you in like you have a talent for is great. Nice job, congrats again!
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:07 PM   #13
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Congratulations on the win, Tiny. Do you have more of this story written? It sounds really interesting.
Thanks guys.

Yeah, but I was only about 40k into it when I decided the government/martial law/mixing of church and state aspect needed to be pushed to the front along with a couple other creepier things. So, it's in a rework stage right now.
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:07 PM   #14
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autobiography?
playing with fire.
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:11 PM   #15
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why must you taunt me with these small bits of story? now i want to read the whole thing.
x2 How far have you gotten with this one? You already have the hook and the hooked. (us)

Congrats on your win.
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:15 PM   #16
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Thanks guys. They're supposed to give you the creepy crawlies, RatherB, and no, I would not leave this place behind, but I doubt fame is in my future. I just want to walk into a brick and mortar bookstore and find my novel on the shelf. It'll be fun to stand there and point saying "I wrote that, you should buy it so you too can have nightmares."
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:18 PM   #17
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It'll be fun to stand there and point saying "I wrote that, you should buy it so you too can have nightmares."
hahahaha. so do you have anything that is already published?
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:22 PM   #18
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Thanks guys.

Yeah, but I was only about 40k into it when I decided the government/martial law/mixing of church and state aspect needed to be pushed to the front along with a couple other creepier things. So, it's in a rework stage right now.
I can't wait to read it.
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:24 PM   #19
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Congrats tiny
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:28 PM   #20
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hahahaha. so do you have anything that is already published?
Yes, but only shorts and articles. No novels yet. Working on it... between screwing around and working in the studio.
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:29 PM   #21
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Congrats Baby!
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:30 PM   #22
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Yes, but only shorts and articles. No novels yet. Working on it... between screwing around and working in the studio.
well thats a hell of a start, and i look forward to these novels when you finish them.
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:43 PM   #23
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Congrats' Tiny, I like creepy, would like to read more of that story.
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:48 PM   #24
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Congrats Tiny! My 14 y/o daughter wants to be an author. Actually she has a poem that has been copywrited (copywritten, Idk) and has written a couple of short stories for herself. So your writing career has always been of interest to me.
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Old 03-08-2010, 10:03 PM   #25
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It's more of a mental issue than a career.
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Old 03-08-2010, 10:14 PM   #26
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It's more of a mental issue than a career.
I think the best writers have a very vivid imagination.
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Old 03-08-2010, 10:41 PM   #27
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Tiny Terror
I have never met you but have come to enjoy your posts. People that have an artistic right side of the brain facinate me. I have no artistic talent at all and see the world different than those of you that have the talent.
Your ability to describe a visual picture with words is very similar to Zane Grey I am sure you are to young to know him but he painted with words and you appear to have that same talent. Keep the dream alive and continue painting for us less fortunate.
CONGRATULATIONS on the win
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Old 03-08-2010, 10:47 PM   #28
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Awesome!
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Old 03-08-2010, 11:51 PM   #29
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I really don't know what to say over some of the comments guys. Manolito, I know who Zane Grey was, is, and will always be. He helped form the mythos of the American old west. He's an icon in western literature. To be compared to him in any way is... well, humbling. Thank you all.

This contest, even though it was small, made my day. Rejections are the norm when you're looking to get published. Man, it thickens up your skin fast or removes your desire to submit at all.

And I don't mean to torment with snippets... okay, yes I do. I'm rotten that way.
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Old 03-08-2010, 11:54 PM   #30
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And I don't mean to torment with snippets... okay, yes I do. I'm rotten that way.
Oh, I know.

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