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Old 03-05-2013, 02:41 AM   #117481
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You live on a lake? No wonder you're always cold...

That sucks. Good excuse to upgrade.

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Not anymore.. Since I moved but that was taken around December... My parents house is around that lake.
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:41 AM   #117482
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Ok I gotta post my favorite "long joke"

A man complains to his friend "My elbow hurts -- I'd better go to the doctor."

"Don't do that," his friend volunteers. "There's a new computer at the drug store that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10, and the computer will give you your diagnosis and a plan of treatment."

The man figures he has nothing to lose, so he goes down to the drug store. Finding the machine, he pours in the urine and deposits $10. The machine begins to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper pops out which reads:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.

That evening, after some contemplation, the man begins to suspect fraud and decides to test the machine. He mixes together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbates into the jar.

He takes this concoction down to the drug store, pours it into the machine, and deposits $10. The machine goes through the same process, buzzing and flashing before finally printing out the following message:

Your tap water has lead.
Get a filter.
Your dog has worms.
Give him vitamins.
Your daughter is on drugs.
Get her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant.
It's not your baby -- get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:43 AM   #117483
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Ok I gotta post my favorite "long joke"

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Old 03-05-2013, 02:43 AM   #117484
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Ok I gotta post my favorite "long joke"

A man complains to his friend "My elbow hurts -- I'd better go to the doctor."

"Don't do that," his friend volunteers. "There's a new computer at the drug store that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10, and the computer will give you your diagnosis and a plan of treatment."

The man figures he has nothing to lose, so he goes down to the drug store. Finding the machine, he pours in the urine and deposits $10. The machine begins to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper pops out which reads:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.

That evening, after some contemplation, the man begins to suspect fraud and decides to test the machine. He mixes together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbates into the jar.

He takes this concoction down to the drug store, pours it into the machine, and deposits $10. The machine goes through the same process, buzzing and flashing before finally printing out the following message:

Your tap water has lead.
Get a filter.
Your dog has worms.
Give him vitamins.
Your daughter is on drugs.
Get her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant.
It's not your baby -- get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:45 AM   #117485
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Ok I gotta post my favorite "long joke"

A man complains to his friend "My elbow hurts -- I'd better go to the doctor."

"Don't do that," his friend volunteers. "There's a new computer at the drug store that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10, and the computer will give you your diagnosis and a plan of treatment."

The man figures he has nothing to lose, so he goes down to the drug store. Finding the machine, he pours in the urine and deposits $10. The machine begins to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper pops out which reads:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.

That evening, after some contemplation, the man begins to suspect fraud and decides to test the machine. He mixes together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbates into the jar.

He takes this concoction down to the drug store, pours it into the machine, and deposits $10. The machine goes through the same process, buzzing and flashing before finally printing out the following message:

Your tap water has lead.
Get a filter.
Your dog has worms.
Give him vitamins.
Your daughter is on drugs.
Get her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant.
It's not your baby -- get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.


Thanks.
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:46 AM   #117486
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I'm all wet and shit now. The hell.
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:46 AM   #117487
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Quote:
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GET OUTTA MAH HEAD
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:47 AM   #117488
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Ralph how's the weather back home. My parents said you guys got a crap ton of snow! I just want a damn boulevard wheat beer already
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:47 AM   #117489
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I'm all wet and shit now. The hell.
Didn't make it to the bathroom, or did Dustin call dibs on you?
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:50 AM   #117490
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GET OUTTA MAH HEAD
this is for the rent hikes, punk!
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:52 AM   #117491
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Didn't make it to the bathroom, or did Dustin call dibs on you?
O hell no you didn't go there...rofl:
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:55 AM   #117492
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Didn't make it to the bathroom, or did Dustin call dibs on you?
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:56 AM   #117493
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Didn't make it to the bathroom, or did Dustin call dibs on you?
He's called dibs on everything else...guess he's expanding

The law of averages says he will eventually get one
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this is for the rent hikes, punk!
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:56 AM   #117494
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Didn't make it to the bathroom, or did Dustin call dibs on you?
You lost your damn mind. We have to turn some pipe around cause two guys we had working with us put it in backwards and it had trapped water in it. And sprinkler pipe water smells like shit.
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:58 AM   #117495
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Lol, last night we had to intubate someone with an extreme case of constipation lol! And transfer them to the icu ... The exact words of the doctor was... I have never had to admit a patient to the icu because they are full of sh*t.
hahaha! That's awesome! That story definitely made my night! Thank you.

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I'm calling it a night!
Have a good day and night jeepers!
Good night!
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:58 AM   #117496
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I'm all wet and shit now. The hell.
That's usually what fat girls say when you show them a cabinet full of twinkies
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:58 AM   #117497
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You lost your damn mind. We have to turn some pipe around cause two guys we had working with us put it in backwards and it had trapped water in it. And sprinkler pipe water smells like shit.
I still have my mind, it's this damn multiple personality disorder.

Sorry about your crappy smelling pipe water, that really sucks.

Just wanted to bring Dustin outta his "pm" zone.
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:59 AM   #117498
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hahaha! That's awesome! That story definitely made my night! Thank you.

Good night!
Glad it made your night !
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:00 AM   #117499
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I still have my mind, it's this damn multiple personality disorder.

Sorry about your crappy smelling pipe water, that really sucks.

Just wanted to bring Dustin outta his "pm" zone.
Or his PMS zone?
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:00 AM   #117500
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Ralph how's the weather back home. My parents said you guys got a crap ton of snow! I just want a damn boulevard wheat beer already
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:00 AM   #117501
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You lost your damn mind. We have to turn some pipe around cause two guys we had working with us put it in backwards and it had trapped water in it. And sprinkler pipe water smells like shit.
So if you do sprinklers....does that mean you like black pipe?
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:01 AM   #117502
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That's usually what fat girls say when you show them a cabinet full of twinkies
I wonder how you know that....
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:01 AM   #117503
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That's just wrong! AZ can't get that beer even if you try ordering it at local vendors.. I can order online and pay $45 a case
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:01 AM   #117504
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So if you do sprinklers....does that mean you like black pipe?

Pimps, Playas, and Pipe layers
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:02 AM   #117505
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So if you do sprinklers....does that mean you like black pipe?
Nah, I'm just good at fitting it in tight places and laying it.
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:02 AM   #117506
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I wonder how you know that....
My buddy likes playing with them on a personal and sexual level
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:04 AM   #117507
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Nah, I'm just good at fitting it in tight places.


Oh no.

Sweet baby Jesus please tell me he didn't just say that!?


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Old 03-05-2013, 03:05 AM   #117508
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Nah, I'm just good at fitting it in tight places and laying it.
rofl:...how about reaming it...lmao
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:05 AM   #117509
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nah, i'm just good at fitting it in tight places and laying it.
:o
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:05 AM   #117510
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He's called dibs on everything else...guess he's expanding

The law of averages says he will eventually get one

Gth
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