this thread needed a lawyer joke
A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural West Virginia.
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck, and it fell into this field, and I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you're not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S., and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you for everything you've got."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in the hills. We settle small disagreements like this with the West Virginia Three-Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the West Virginia Three-Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times. And so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He said, "Sure, we can do things your way."
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The lawyer was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. He said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!"
The old farmer smiled and said, "No, that's OK; I give up. You can have the duck!"