Need some advise about something pretty personal to me... - Jeep Wrangler Forum
Jeep Wrangler Forum

Go Back   Jeep Wrangler Forum > General Discussion Forums > Off-Topic

Join Wrangler Forum Today


Reply
 
Thread Tools

Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about them on WranglerForum.com
Old 07-06-2011, 02:34 AM   #1
Show Me Your 8008135!

WF Supporting Member
 
s3nt3nc3d's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Piqua, OH
Posts: 3,641
Send a message via AIM to s3nt3nc3d
Need some advise about something pretty personal to me...

I'll keep this pretty short and to the point for a change...but I do need to give a little back story so you'll understand this.

My mom died of cancer when I was 16. She was extremely active in the Relay for Life for years before that due to her best friend having to have her breasts removed from a pretty bad case of breast cancer. Because of all this, our family has remained extremely active in the Relay for Life. In 2006, my aunt got permission for us to show a memorial video of my mom on the big screen. I had a limited amount of time to cram a video together but I made it just in the nick of time. Only a couple of family members were aware I did this and the rest found out at the Relay that night when it was shown. They were all extremely overjoyed when they saw it.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about cancer, my mom, death and other stuff lately...and every now and then I watch the memorial video I did for my mom. Plus this time of year is when I'm trying to get donations for our team so I usually post that video all over the place...yes, I'll post the link here in this thread.

So with all this thinking I decided I want to do a new memorial video...using a new song which I have already chosen, more/newer/better pictures, and I want to try and do a short little intro before the video kind of introducing myself and just saying a quick word or two about the effects cancer has on a person's life. Basically just something along the lines of, "Hi, I'm Josh from Sheri's Dragon Slayers. My mom, Sheri, lost her battle with cancer on Easter Sunday of 2003. I created this video to remind my family of the good times we had during her short time here and to show you what all cancer can make you lose." ...that's not set in stone, but you get my drift...very short narrative. And even though it's only a few sentences...I'm sitting here nervous as hell to even attempt to record it for fear I'll start stuttering.

Anyway, I've been speaking with the chair of the Relay I participate in which is 300 miles away in IL (I drive there to participate with my family). It's in a little over a week. She is going to allow me to play this video on the big screen this year and this time, NOBODY in my family has a clue that I'm going to play it.

The advise I need now...I'm having a difficult time finding pictures. I have a pretty large folder full of them, but unfortunately back then good digital cameras were expensive so most of the "good" photos I have of my mom are like 300x300. Not very good for blowing up and then blowing up even bigger on a projector. Now I'm working to create small collages for each slide...with like 3-4 pictures on each page. The problem I'm having is...a lot of the good photos are photos of her during her battle with cancer. She did a lot of chemo so some photos are good photos of her smiling...but either her hair is super short/gone (she wore hats or bandanas to cover it up so you don't just see a bald head) or she looks really pale and sick (but still smiling and being positive). As a whole, should I include those pictures of her or are they too likely to bring back too many painful memories?

I'm biased in my choices because while her death was extremely painful for me, I was able to hide my feelings from everybody and because of that a lot of stuff that is too painful for people doesn't even spark a reaction from me. So I'm curious what you folks think. I'll post the video on here when it's done if anyone's interested as well. I thought about doing a video focusing more on her battle with cancer to help educate those at the Relay who have never been a caregiver, but a friend of mine felt that would probably be too hard on my family...and I agree. I think I could get away with a youtube video of it, but playing it at the Relay would probably be overwhelming for them.

Thoughts?

Here's the video I did back in 2006:

__________________
"We don't build great brakes because we think you don't know how to drive, we build them for the guy on the road in front of you that doesn't." - Black Magic Brakes
s3nt3nc3d is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-06-2011, 08:19 AM   #2
Jeeper
 
tons-O-fun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: ? You mean to tell me that you don't know either?
Posts: 503
Hey man, I would first like to start out by saying that I'm sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose somebody close like that. My mom too battled with breast cancer when I was like 10, she prevailed while watching 3 close friends that she had made during her chemo treatments pass. I think that you should put whatever pictures truly show what your mom was all about, always in good spirits, strong, a fighter, so on and so forth. I know that bringing up the memories is going to be painful at times, it always is. The only advise I have is to celebrate life not mourn death. Obviously I don't know you nor knew your mother, but from that short story you posted it sounds like she was a great person, that's what you really need to remind people about.

__________________
1- 97 Wrangler SE --- SOLD Because of new jersey's deer problem
2- 98 Amethyst Wrangler SPORT
3- 98 3000GT base model
tons-O-fun is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-06-2011, 08:53 AM   #3
MARGARET, 10-14-51\6-1-12

WF Supporting Member
 
GREEN-MACHINE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF MASSACHUSETTS
Posts: 10,251
first off very sorry for the loss of you mom, my sister margaret is dieing from cancer, this past year has been a real bitch for the entire family.
you ask if you should include the pictures of you mom with no hair and pale looking, i say yes you should,
my reason for this is simple, people need to be reminded what a mother'fer cancer is, it does not know male, female, white, black, young or old, it is a killer plane and simple.
you all loved your mother through good times and bad, include all the pictures.

JMO
__________________

life is too short to be taken seriously all the time,,,, go buy a MR.potato head and have some fun.
GREEN-MACHINE is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-06-2011, 09:16 AM   #4
Jeeper
 
shell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 21,449
Images: 22
I know it's a little late, but I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to breast cancer on July 25, 1996. Reading your post brought back a lot of memories for me. The chemo, the sickness, the hair loss, all of that. I agree you should put those pictures in. So many people try to sugar-coat the effects of cancer. People need to see what we the family members. It's a battle and we have to use every resource possible to put an end to it. Anyway, before I get too carried away, just my .02 worth.
__________________
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. Will Rogers
shell is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-06-2011, 09:39 AM   #5
I am JD & It's my Dream

WF Supporting Member
::WF Administrator::
 
JDsDream's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: The Peach State
Posts: 26,992
Images: 4
I lost my sister to breast cancer 5 years ago on the 4th of July. After she passed, I gathered up all of her pictures and I keep them in my desk. I often take them out and look at them. These pictures are of everything from when we were kids, teenagers, young adults right through pictures taken days before she died. Each and every one of them is important, even the ones of her after the chemo. I think that you should include all that were a part of her life including the post chemo. Your Mom had an amazing spirit ( I visited the website and read the diary). Start with any childhood pics and go right up until the end. Then finish with the most Beautiful pic that you have of her showing that wonderful, eternal smile.
__________________
The kind of woman that when my feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"

To All Of Our Forum Veterans and Active Service Members.
Our Debt To You Is Greater Than We Could Ever Repay.
Thank You

Become a Supporting Member!
JDsDream is online now   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-06-2011, 12:05 PM   #6
Jeeper
 
erickpl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,321
Send a message via AIM to erickpl
I agree with showing her how she was. Cancer is not a feel-good problem and people should realize that if they don't already. Don't sugar coat it. She was a real person with real issues, so show her as she really was. Show her living her life - whether it was a good time or a bad time.

As far I'd recommend finding somebody with a scanner so you can scan original photos and get a higher resolution. That may solve some of your photo issues.

JDsDREAM has a great way to show it.
__________________
-Paul

-97 TJ with a few mods. PM with questions.
erickpl is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-06-2011, 12:44 PM   #7
JEEPER

WF Supporting Member
 
KRawson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posts: 915
I'm sorry to hear that, my heart goes out to you and your family. we just lost a friend of the family to cancer I grew up with her 3 daughters and my mom was best friends with her. we participated in the revlon run/walk for womens cancer numerous times before but this last one was in her name Jana Miller. We were called jogging for Jana. As hard as it is to see pictures of the last days the good and the bad I feel it is necessary. There is nothing wrong with crying and letting emotions out, its the body and minds way of processing a loss. I believe you should show them, it will hurt, but it will open eyes for those who watch it. My mom's name is also sherri, I always thought it was a beautiful name.
__________________
Kyle
KRawson is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-06-2011, 03:59 PM   #8
Just a kid at heart...

WF Supporting Member
 
seadog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Almost where I belong...
Posts: 14,140
First, let me say that I am sorry for your loss. If my kids were on here, they would express the same sentiments you have. They lost their Mother (my Wife) when they were 14/16/18.

I purposely didn't read any other replies, because I didn't want them to influence my thoughts on your dilemma.

I say go for it. If you produce the next one, as beautifully as your first one, your family will be very appreciative. It may take them by surprise, at first. But they will understand. Make sure you make additional copies of the presentation.

Since my Wife had worked for the base chapel, and was former military, she was eligible for a military funeral.

One of the things they asked for was photos of her, from all stages of her life. Her best friend and I and the kids went through photo albums and boxes and boxes of photos, of varying quality. Every one had to be manually scanned to save as a digital image. Some were enhanced, some were left as is. And all were intermixed into the presentation. If the photo was grainy, you just knew it was an older photo and accepted it. We included photos taken during treatment. One in particular got everybody's attention. 4 ladies undergoing chemo treatment (only my wife's face was visible), sitting at a table, bald heads gleaming, playing some card game I never could figure out. They were laughing and talking, just trying to make the best out a situation that was out of their control. End it with your favorite photo of just her.

And Relay For Life is a wonderful charity. I've earned a few blisters supporting them over the years. PM me and I will be happy to sponsor you.
__________________
Brian



I tried to be good, but I got bored...
seadog is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-06-2011, 08:34 PM   #9
Jeeper
 
Dianeakamommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Outside Boston
Posts: 338
I would add the pics. It shows to every one that she was a STRONG WOMEN. Going through what she went through with a smile on her face. wow. makes me wish I knew her. Sorry for all the hard times. She is proud of you.
Dianeakamommy is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-06-2011, 11:25 PM   #10
Show Me Your 8008135!

WF Supporting Member
 
s3nt3nc3d's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Piqua, OH
Posts: 3,641
Send a message via AIM to s3nt3nc3d
Thanks to all of you for chiming in...and I'm glad everyone here is in agreement with their opinions. Makes my decision that much easier

I decided to record the short little narrative I want to put at the beginning of the video today...wow, I gotta give actors credit. I deleted most of my bloopers...and even in doing so, I still have 24 videos on my phone of which only two were done without me TOTALLY screwing up. Here's just one of many bloopers...this was after 30+ takes...

http://www.blackshireserver.net/file...0706-00041.3GP
Not Safe for Work (Language)

Edit: By the way, if any of you want to read her story (which has plenty of photos) or donate to our team, I'll provide both links below.

Her Story (everything except the final entry was written by her--I did the final entry):
http://www.cagmom.com/cancer/cancer.html

My Relay Page -- all donations are greatly appreciated!
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?px...s_tafId=631667
__________________
"We don't build great brakes because we think you don't know how to drive, we build them for the guy on the road in front of you that doesn't." - Black Magic Brakes
s3nt3nc3d is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-07-2011, 06:20 AM   #11
Jeeper
 
Dianeakamommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Outside Boston
Posts: 338
I was going to say keep a blooper or two to lighten the mood but yeah that was not the blooper to put in.
Dianeakamommy is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-07-2011, 07:38 AM   #12
Jeeper
 
jspeer1130's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: North Canton, Ohio
Posts: 315
Good man, your family raised you well and I know whatever you put together will be a great memorial and reminder just as planned.
jspeer1130 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-07-2011, 08:51 AM   #13
Show Me Your 8008135!

WF Supporting Member
 
s3nt3nc3d's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Piqua, OH
Posts: 3,641
Send a message via AIM to s3nt3nc3d
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dianeakamommy View Post
I was going to say keep a blooper or two to lighten the mood but yeah that was not the blooper to put in.
If I have to fill in some time, I can add a few bloopers...most were stopped before I started cussing like a sailor...or throwing my phone across the field...
__________________
"We don't build great brakes because we think you don't know how to drive, we build them for the guy on the road in front of you that doesn't." - Black Magic Brakes
s3nt3nc3d is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-07-2011, 08:55 AM   #14
Rock-Rubber

WF Supporting Member
 
GoldenSahara00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: SCPA
Posts: 16,698
Good luck with this man, I know you'll do good and make your Mom and your whole family proud! Whatever choices you make, they will be the right ones.
__________________
Ryan - A good eye, a light foot, and a smart rig.
Bolt-ons are boring
AMERICAN JEEPER
My Build - http://www.wranglerforum.com/f118/pr...a00-74622.html
Rausch Creek Trip: 2014 Trip Coming Soon
GoldenSahara00 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-07-2011, 09:30 AM   #15
Jeeper
 
BigEZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: People's Republic of Illinois
Posts: 871
Images: 4
I too am sorry for your loss and happy to see you honor your mom's memory. My tag line tells you all you need to know about how I feel regarding cancer; too many of my relatives have battled various forms of the disease over the years. Some have lost (grandmother and soon, unfortunately, my aunt) and some have won (my other grandmother and most recently my father- which I am eternally grateful for.)

My only additional comment regarding your project is you should most definitely include the pics from her battle stages- it will help to remind people of her fighting spirit and also the severity of the disease. Also, they are the most recent pics of her and to be honest are probably more representative of people's memorialized images of her.

One last suggestion is that to lessen the "shock" of the illness photos is to not include them side-by-side with shots from before the cancer began to take its toll.

however you decide to do it I'm sure it will be a fitting tribute. Good luck and keep up the fight. Please include a link to the charity's website and I will check it out for donation purposes.

Man I hate cancer.
__________________
Ride hard.
Shoot straight.
Tell the truth.
BigEZ is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-08-2011, 12:44 AM   #16
Show Me Your 8008135!

WF Supporting Member
 
s3nt3nc3d's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Piqua, OH
Posts: 3,641
Send a message via AIM to s3nt3nc3d
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigEZ View Post
I too am sorry for your loss and happy to see you honor your mom's memory. My tag line tells you all you need to know about how I feel regarding cancer; too many of my relatives have battled various forms of the disease over the years. Some have lost (grandmother and soon, unfortunately, my aunt) and some have won (my other grandmother and most recently my father- which I am eternally grateful for.)

My only additional comment regarding your project is you should most definitely include the pics from her battle stages- it will help to remind people of her fighting spirit and also the severity of the disease. Also, they are the most recent pics of her and to be honest are probably more representative of people's memorialized images of her.

One last suggestion is that to lessen the "shock" of the illness photos is to not include them side-by-side with shots from before the cancer began to take its toll.

however you decide to do it I'm sure it will be a fitting tribute. Good luck and keep up the fight. Please include a link to the charity's website and I will check it out for donation purposes.

Man I hate cancer.
Thanks...I'm making good progress on the video. I plan on uploading it to youtube as a private link so I'll give you all a preview of the final product. By the way, I posted a link to my Relay team's page where you can donate if you'd like...post #10 above. Thanks
__________________
"We don't build great brakes because we think you don't know how to drive, we build them for the guy on the road in front of you that doesn't." - Black Magic Brakes
s3nt3nc3d is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-08-2011, 01:18 PM   #17
Show Me Your 8008135!

WF Supporting Member
 
s3nt3nc3d's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Piqua, OH
Posts: 3,641
Send a message via AIM to s3nt3nc3d
Hey all...video is done...I'll get a link up tonight cuz it's gonna take a while to upload.

Until then, I'm debating shortening it in order to fit a different song...so here's a little unofficial poll.

The song I'm using now is Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me...but I'm debating switching it with Justin Moore's "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away"...thoughts? Both should be easy to find on youtube...I'd link em here but I don't wanna flood this thread with videos. lol

Edit: Nevermind...just gonna stick with what I've got. I'm crunched for time and wanna get this sent out to the Relay staff today.
__________________
"We don't build great brakes because we think you don't know how to drive, we build them for the guy on the road in front of you that doesn't." - Black Magic Brakes
s3nt3nc3d is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-08-2011, 02:05 PM   #18
Show Me Your 8008135!

WF Supporting Member
 
s3nt3nc3d's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Piqua, OH
Posts: 3,641
Send a message via AIM to s3nt3nc3d
__________________
"We don't build great brakes because we think you don't know how to drive, we build them for the guy on the road in front of you that doesn't." - Black Magic Brakes
s3nt3nc3d is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-08-2011, 02:33 PM   #19
Jeeper
 
G-Pur's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Lowell, MA
Posts: 1,645
Beautiful job, man. She'd be proud of you.
__________________
Check us out at NorthShoreJeeps.com

G-Pur is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-08-2011, 02:51 PM   #20
Jeeper
 
Dianeakamommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Outside Boston
Posts: 338
WOW Amazing. Great job.
Dianeakamommy is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-08-2011, 02:52 PM   #21
Rock-Rubber

WF Supporting Member
 
GoldenSahara00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: SCPA
Posts: 16,698
I like Jimmy Eat World anyways so I am glad you didn't switch, great video man, she will love it. It's beautiful.
__________________
Ryan - A good eye, a light foot, and a smart rig.
Bolt-ons are boring
AMERICAN JEEPER
My Build - http://www.wranglerforum.com/f118/pr...a00-74622.html
Rausch Creek Trip: 2014 Trip Coming Soon
GoldenSahara00 is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-08-2011, 03:20 PM   #22
I am JD & It's my Dream

WF Supporting Member
::WF Administrator::
 
JDsDream's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: The Peach State
Posts: 26,992
Images: 4
Beautiful video Josh.
__________________
The kind of woman that when my feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"

To All Of Our Forum Veterans and Active Service Members.
Our Debt To You Is Greater Than We Could Ever Repay.
Thank You

Become a Supporting Member!
JDsDream is online now   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-08-2011, 03:33 PM   #23
Jeeper
 
kpdiver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: The Buckeye State O H I O
Posts: 863
Your mothers smile is infectious. I found myself smiling with a tear in my eye throughout the video. Well done.





KP
__________________



You have never truly lived, until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.
kpdiver is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-08-2011, 04:11 PM   #24
Just a kid at heart...

WF Supporting Member
 
seadog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Almost where I belong...
Posts: 14,140
Beautiful.

Anybody got a tissue?
__________________
Brian



I tried to be good, but I got bored...
seadog is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 07-08-2011, 11:39 PM   #25
Show Me Your 8008135!

WF Supporting Member
 
s3nt3nc3d's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Piqua, OH
Posts: 3,641
Send a message via AIM to s3nt3nc3d
Thanks everyone...glad to hear everyone here liked it. That means it'll definitely go over well with the family!

__________________
"We don't build great brakes because we think you don't know how to drive, we build them for the guy on the road in front of you that doesn't." - Black Magic Brakes
s3nt3nc3d is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Jeep Wrangler Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Do pretty girls fart? N39-W120 Off-Topic 19 06-05-2010 05:15 AM
Wheel/Tire Issue, Advise Needed dnbearcat General Jeep Discussion 5 02-09-2010 02:12 PM
John McCain POW, his personal account tiny terror Off-Topic 0 07-23-2008 06:18 PM
A little personal inspiration last week SPDSNYPR Off-Topic 7 06-09-2008 07:15 PM



Download our Mobile App

» Featured Product

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:28 AM.



Jeep®, Wrangler, Liberty, Wagoneer, Cherokee, and Grand Cherokee are copyrighted and trademarked to Chrysler Motors LLC.
Wranglerforum.com is not in any way associated with the Chrysler Motors LLC