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Old 06-15-2009, 06:27 PM
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Jack Lives Here!!!

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Officially one of the best sites ever

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Old 06-15-2009, 06:38 PM   #2
delicate %$^&*@ flower

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My favorite...

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(502): WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Never thought of it that way. Hmmm.
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Old 06-15-2009, 06:39 PM   #3
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mine to
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"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president."
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Old 06-15-2009, 07:26 PM   #4
that's what she said

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my top 5 in no particular order:

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(417): apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
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(315): playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
(315): warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
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(603): could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
(1-603): you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
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(608): i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
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(848): life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
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Old 06-15-2009, 07:39 PM   #5
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nice....is tramp stamp what i think it is? cuz i love that term now
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"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president."
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:16 PM   #6
that's what she said

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tramp stamp:

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Old 06-15-2009, 08:20 PM   #7
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bingo, i love it.

oh, thanks for using yourself as the example btw
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"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president."
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:24 PM   #8
that's what she said

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no mine just says "Tramp Stamp" and it is written in a wooshey font.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:42 PM   #9
that's what she said

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i've got some more favs:

(201): just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.

(508): he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg

(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

this one is so wrong but it made me laugh pretty hard, i think i'm going to hell:
(314): There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
(818): Punch her baby.
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Old 06-15-2009, 09:12 PM   #10
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HEY!!! My Fraternity was in those texts....
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Old 06-16-2009, 12:05 AM
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I was loving the punch the baby one also. There is some GREAT stuff on there. However I would prefer you all refrain from reposting some of the raunchier ones on here and just let people read for themselves.
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Old 06-16-2009, 12:38 AM   #12
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I think its an AZ thing
I swear I found FML and this months ago and now it seems like everyone in AZ knows about it lol
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Old 06-16-2009, 09:15 AM   #13
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Wow- thank you for bringing this into my life! Another way to waste time at work while not selling any Jeeps Thanks! Mark W.
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Old 06-16-2009, 04:22 PM   #14
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(407): Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
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Old 06-16-2009, 05:15 PM
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I think I'm Pregnant...
I think you have the wrong number...

CLASSIC

That and...

I think Hallmark should make "Congratulations on getting your Period cards" I think they would be quite popular.
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Old 06-16-2009, 05:47 PM   #16
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(815): Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.




-i swear I almost fell of the couch in laughter!!
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:41 AM   #17
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Those are great. I am laughing so hard right now
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