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Old 11-17-2011, 10:06 AM   #1
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Old People

There are day when I just love old people and then there are days I'd just rather gut punch them. You know the ones I'm talking about; they get to that certain age where they'll just say what's on their mind because they're old enough to not care.

Today I decided to leave work early because of stomach flu like symptoms. I figured it would be in my best interest to stop by the local drug store and grab a couple of essentials like an anti-diarrhea medicine and some toilet paper. I get to the counter and this old lady whom I am sure, at some point, counted the deck boards on either the Niña, Pinta or the Santa Maria looked at the items on the counter and boldly stated, "Someone's got an upset tummy! I know what you'll be doing today!"

At this, her older counterpart (probably sat behind Moses in the third grade) hollered up, "What's he got goin' on up there, Sadie?"

"Please Lord, let this end quietly," I prayed.

"Looks like he's got the diarrhea!" Perhaps this wouldn't have been so bad had there not been thirty other shoppers in the vicinity. Perhaps.

"You be sure to take this stuff until you're all done, now," she yelled perhaps due to her lack of hearing.

"Yes, Ma'am," I replied as I made my way out of there as quickly as I could.

I can't wait until I get that old and can say whatever is on my mind! I'll be sure to pay it forward! Watch out youngun's, old fart in training!

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Old 11-17-2011, 10:15 AM   #2
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holy crap.....i laughed my a$$ off!


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Old 11-17-2011, 10:35 AM   #3
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thats awesome!
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:39 AM   #4
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dear mr mac,, why on gods earth would you want to wait till you got old to say what on your mind ( you just did you know ) im 52 and been speaking my mind ever since i was a young lad.... ps that was some funny shit..
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:39 AM   #5
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thats too funny! but guess what? I am already that way so whats going to happen when I am elderly
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:51 AM   #6
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Go back and place a pack of Magnum condoms on the counter with a big smile on your face. Wink and nod as you hand her the money.
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:56 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GREEN-MACHINE
dear mr mac,, why on gods earth would you want to wait till you got old to say what on your mind ( you just did you know ) im 52 and been speaking my mind ever since i was a young lad.... ps that was some funny shit..
Quote:
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thats too funny! but guess what? I am already that way so whats going to happen when I am elderly
Gonna have to hang with you two when your old ... Could be really amusing .. Lol
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Old 11-17-2011, 11:04 AM   #8
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Safety glasses, bottle of lube, and a box of tissues... Just sigh and say its gonna be a long night as your leaving the counter...
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Old 11-17-2011, 12:34 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daggo66
Go back and place a pack of Magnum condoms on the counter with a big smile on your face. Wink and nod as you hand her the money.
Perfect! Rofl !!

This was a funny story! Omg haha.
& I have noticed that. I work retail (hate that damn job) and a lot of old people come into the store and act the same way. Old people are supposed to be nice and make you cookies but nope these ones call me a *****!! So mean! If only I wasn't working I would lay it on em -__-
Outside of work though I'm what you can call.. Blunt.
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Old 11-17-2011, 03:15 PM   #10
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Go back and place a pack of Magnum condoms on the counter with a big smile on your face. Wink and nod as you hand her the money.
As soon as I can get more than 10 feet from the crapper for more than ten minutes I may just do that!
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Old 11-17-2011, 03:21 PM   #11
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thats too funny! but guess what? I am already that way so whats going to happen when I am elderly
When



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Old 11-17-2011, 03:28 PM   #12
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me and my wife have discussed a few times that we can cut the budget a little here and there but I can't take that cheap toilet paper!!! Don't skimp on the striking paper!!!
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Old 11-17-2011, 03:35 PM   #13
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Surely not! One of these days I'll figure that whole 'three sea shells' thing...
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Old 11-17-2011, 03:36 PM   #14
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Surely not! One of these days I'll figure that whole 'three sea shells' thing...
I still dont know how those damn sea shells work
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Old 11-17-2011, 06:56 PM   #15
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The Poop Report (yes, Poop Report) has a possible explanation...go figure.

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