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Old 08-16-2013, 04:21 PM   #31
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Stop playing your Atari

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Old 08-16-2013, 05:02 PM   #32
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"Actions speak louder than words."
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
"Every cloud has a silver lining."
"Hope for the best and prepare for the worst."
"The darkest hours are just before dawn."
"Live and learn."

My favorite saying was my father's response to being asked how he was doing. He'd say, "Can't complain, but I do anyway."

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Old 08-16-2013, 05:05 PM   #33
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My favorite saying was my father's response to being asked how he was doing. He'd say, "Can't complain, but I do anyway."
An old fella I knew would say "The best I can, with what I got"
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:09 PM   #34
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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:09 PM   #35
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An old fella I knew would say "The best I can, with what I got"
...sounds like they were "cast from the same mold"!
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:11 PM   #36
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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
That one's still true!
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:11 PM   #37
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If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass

Grinning like a sh!t eating possum
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"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:14 PM   #38
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"Close enough for government work"
"You might wanna stay in your own paygrade this time"
"Ten million sperm and YOU were the fastest ?"
"Exactly what part of "NO" do you not understand?"
"Your OTHER left."
"Did your mom have any kids that lived?"
"What did you iron your uniform with... A rock?"
"I've wrung more saltwater out of my socks than you've ever sailed across!"
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:16 PM   #39
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"Ten million sperm and YOU were the fastest ?"

Good one!
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:43 PM   #40
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"Because I said so"
"Don't quit your day job"
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Old 08-16-2013, 06:41 PM   #41
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A picture is worth a thousand words.
Practice what you preach.
Don't burn your bridges behind you.
First thing first.
Don't put all of your eggs in one basket.
Pick your Battles.
Don't wish your life away.
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Old 08-16-2013, 06:45 PM   #42
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You can short stroke a long shaft but ya cant long stroke a short shaft.
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Old 08-16-2013, 06:50 PM   #43
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"If that ain't country..... grits ain't groceries"

"She was so bowlegged... She couldn't catch a hog in a ditch"
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:04 PM   #44
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Quick as a whistle
In a coons age

I keep remembering the ones my Grandma told me. She was born in the early 1900's south of Atlanta, and was raised by her ol' ways mom & grandma - I can't repeat her classics here, they aren't "PC", but they were great.
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:09 PM   #45
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...and who hasn't heard...

"I brought you into this world, I can take you out!"
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:11 PM   #46
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"I'm gonna beat you like a red-headed step child"
"You just opened up a can off whoop-a$$"
"the whole 9 yards" - which actually refers to the length of a .50 cal belt in the B17's during WWII and not football.
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:15 PM   #47
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LOL! I learned most of these from my dad:
When pigs whistle-or fly, I've heard both
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
Playing poker with a pinochle deck
The elevator doesn't go to the top floor
Dumber than a box of rocks
Two bricks shy of a load
Too big for his/her britches
Do bears sh*t in the woods?
Good enough for government work
That'll fix your wagon
If brains were gunpowder, he couldn't blow his nose
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Ol' Yeller TJ
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:21 PM   #48
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Just a fur piece down the road.....

"Just cut me off and call me shorty"...
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:28 PM   #49
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OlYellerTJ's quote, "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer" got me thinking:

Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.
The light's on, but nobody's home.
A few eggs short of a dozen.
A few cards short of a deck.
A few fries short of a happy meal.
The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
His battery isn't fully charged.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heal.
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:32 PM   #50
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Useless as tits on a pigeon.

If it's petty don't sweat it. If it's sweaty don't pet it.

If you don't like the smoke don't start the fire.

It's not how deep you plow that matters, it's how long you stay out in the field.
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:57 PM   #51
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It's not what you do for a living, but rather how well you do it!
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Old 08-16-2013, 08:08 PM   #52
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"You can't have your cake and eat it too," doesn't really make sense until you reverse it - "You can't eat your cake and have it too."
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Old 08-16-2013, 08:39 PM   #53
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Cooler than the other side of the pillow.
Dumb as a box of rocks.
Hotter than a 5 gallon bucket of hell stewed down to a quart.
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Old 08-16-2013, 08:50 PM   #54
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Apparently every parent has always walked to school uphill both ways in the snow
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Old 08-16-2013, 08:54 PM   #55
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Apparently every parent has always walked to school uphill both ways in the snow
Yours too!!!
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Old 08-16-2013, 10:47 PM   #56
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shit fire...save the matches
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Old 08-16-2013, 10:57 PM   #57
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Character is what you do when no one is watching
Measure a man by how he treats those from whom he can gain nothing
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Old 08-16-2013, 10:58 PM   #58
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One from the farm...
You gotta make hay when the sun shines.
Meaning: when the time is right, take care of business b/c you don't know when you'll get another chance
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Old 08-16-2013, 11:01 PM   #59
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One of my Mother's from her Grandfather....."Watch the pennies and the Dollars will take care of themselves".

"Just like the chickens coming home to roost, every lie will out (become known)...eventually!!!"
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Old 08-16-2013, 11:36 PM   #60
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My father-inlaw would say "that is heavier than a dead preacher".

Friend of mines sister (not a looker) got a boob job. He said "that's like putting rims on a pinto"

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