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Old 08-15-2013, 09:50 PM   #1
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Old timer sayings

Lets list some old sayings we've heard from our old timers whether we understood them or not.

My dad always told me "You're pi$$ing up a rope"!

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Old 08-15-2013, 09:56 PM   #2
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When I was a kid, I heard this:

"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

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Old 08-15-2013, 09:58 PM   #3
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I've been farther up a tree than you've been out of town
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Old 08-15-2013, 10:02 PM   #4
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I've been busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest!
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Old 08-15-2013, 10:05 PM   #5
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You couldn't get laid in a woman's prison with a fist full of pardons.
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Old 08-15-2013, 10:59 PM   #6
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Can't teach an old dog new tricks."
"Like two peas in a pod."
"Birds of a feather flock together."
"Happy as a clam."
"Don't count your chickens before they hatch."
"Eye for an eye."
"Can the leopard change his spots?"
"Beauty is but skin deep."
"All that glitters is not gold."

Jant
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:10 AM   #7
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They don't know sheep sh__ from coffee grounds.

That (advice) and a nickel will get ya a cup of coffee.

You can also get to your a__hole through your elbow.

Call a spade a spade.

If you can't stand the heat, get outta the kitchen.

Come Hell or highwater...

Good Lord willing, and the creek don't rise.

More stubborn than a Missouri mule.

Crazy as a cat.

Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself.

Buy land - they ain't makin no more of it.

When asked how he wanted his money from the bank, my Grandfather always replied, "slowly".
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Old 08-16-2013, 07:28 AM   #8
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Supper. I hate that word.
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Old 08-16-2013, 08:11 AM   #9
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My grandpa always said you can tell if its gonna rain if the breakfast bacon is curling up in the pan. WTF
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Old 08-16-2013, 08:16 AM   #10
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"That'll fly like a lead balloon."

"That's how the cows eat the cabbage." This one still makes no sense to me.
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Old 08-16-2013, 08:32 AM   #11
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My gramps always called us a buncha "Haanyacks"

Hotter than a half fu**ed fox in a forest fire

Sweatin like a french whore in church

Hotter than two rats fu$$ing in a wool sock

Couldnt pull a limp d!!k outta a jar of vaseline

Rainin like a cow pissin on a flat rock

Colder than a witches t$t in a brass bra face down in a snow storm

SH!T THE BED

And my fave... I wouldnt piss up her ass if her guts were on fire!
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Old 08-16-2013, 10:34 AM   #12
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I don't know how old this is but a buddy says it's an old Texas saying....
I'm so hungry I'm fartin' fresh air.
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Old 08-16-2013, 10:59 AM   #13
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Old 08-16-2013, 12:15 PM   #14
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A eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
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Old 08-16-2013, 12:18 PM   #15
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My dad always said youre as handy as a small pot!
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Old 08-16-2013, 12:19 PM   #16
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my grandpa used to tell me "stop gallivanting around"

i never heard anyone use "gallivanting" but him. It is english, but OLD English. lol
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Old 08-16-2013, 12:23 PM   #17
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Handy as a hip pocket in a t-shirt.
Ugly as the back side of a mud fence.
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Old 08-16-2013, 12:27 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dawhitesJKU View Post
my grandpa used to tell me "stop gallivanting around"

i never heard anyone use "gallivanting" but him. It is english, but OLD English. lol
x2
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Old 08-16-2013, 12:27 PM   #19
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"bee's Knees" drives me insane
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Old 08-16-2013, 12:50 PM   #20
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Useless as tits on a boar
Shit fire, and save the matches
Gag a maggot on a gut wagon

And I learned that a "Fur piece" is a long distance and not a mink stole.
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Old 08-16-2013, 12:53 PM   #21
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You Can wait until the cows come home.
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Old 08-16-2013, 01:00 PM   #22
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Early to bed and early to rise, will make you healthy, wealthy and wise.
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Old 08-16-2013, 01:20 PM   #23
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I don't know whether to shit or go blind

I quit hearing this after I answered "close your eyes and fart" a few times.
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Old 08-16-2013, 01:22 PM   #24
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If you use all your tools for hammers, pretty soon you just have a toolbox full of hammers...
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Old 08-16-2013, 01:43 PM   #25
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Crazy as a sh*t-house rat
Slicker than owl sh*t
Throw the baby out with the bath-water

are just a few of the odd sayings I've heard growing up from elders.

Oh, and my favorite: "Paska linnut laulavat" which is Finnish for "The shit birds are singing"...don't know what that means, but my Finn grandma said it all the time. She was a hoot.
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Old 08-16-2013, 02:11 PM   #26
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"Uglier than a mud fence"
"Sharp as a bowling ball"
"If you're gonna be stupid, you better be tough"
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Old 08-16-2013, 02:39 PM   #27
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My grandma would tell me as a kid life is like a fart in a bag. When you open it up it stinks.
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Old 08-16-2013, 02:46 PM   #28
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It takes one to know one.
If the shoe fits, then wear it.
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Old 08-16-2013, 02:53 PM   #29
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Dog gone it!
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Old 08-16-2013, 03:08 PM   #30
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Some of my Mom's gems:

"If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"
"Eat your dinner, there are starving children who would love to eat that."
"Go play in the street".
"Oh no you are not running away. If anybody in this house is running away, it's gonna be me"

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