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Old 02-17-2013, 07:12 PM   #121
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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Hats off to you. Fortunately for me mine is older. Idk how I'd do it with a 3 yo.

He and I are still giggling over wheeling today.

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Old 03-01-2013, 09:31 PM   #122
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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Sadly they were beaten badly in the playoffs. I just said "nothing will want you to succeed more that a hatred of losing."

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Old 03-03-2013, 10:00 AM   #123
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Took the kids to mongolian grill last night. Worth the price just to see what pigs people really are!!!
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Old 03-03-2013, 02:31 PM   #124
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My son (5) just came to me crying about going home. He hates the apartment his mom just moved him into. Hates her boyfriend/fiancé/DotM just as much. Luckily, we talked to her and she's letting him stay until Wednesday. He told her he just really loves his daddy and wants to spend more time with me. I must admit, I teared up a little. I love that little boy.
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Old 03-03-2013, 03:32 PM   #125
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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^^^ feel for you.

We went wheeling again today. Got stuck bad in a pool. He loved climbing out on the board and standing on the tire to hook the winch on.
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Old 03-03-2013, 03:55 PM   #126
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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Old 03-03-2013, 03:57 PM   #127
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Single Mommy here.... just wanna drop in a note to say how much I respect you Daddys... I have a few guy friends that do the same and they are amazing people Keep doin an awesome job!
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Old 03-03-2013, 03:58 PM   #128
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Bummer gettin' stuck....good on ya not wheelin' alone.....so many people think it is "no big deal"
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Old 03-03-2013, 04:02 PM   #129
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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Great group from the local GA section. Had a blast today.

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Old 03-07-2013, 01:34 PM   #130
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Question for my fellow single dads. My 5 1/2 year old son has decided that he doesn't want to live with his mom anymore. He was supposed to go home Sunday, but threw an absolute fit and finally told my mom that he wanted to stay with me and not go home. I called the ex and she agreed to let him stay here until yesterday. We went to meet her and about a half an hour before we got to the meeting place, he sulked up again and said he was never going with his mom. She got there a little late and we all stood there and talked. He kept telling her he was never going home with her and that he was staying with me forever. She agreed to let him stay with me for a little while longer, until next Sunday, when he would be going back from that weekend's visitation. On our way home, he begged me to let him live with me.

Here's what I think is going on. His mom just moved him from Little Rock to Russellville, AR so they can live with her boyfriend. This is the fourth guy she has moved him in with in three years. In total, he's been moved around about ten times in the past four years. They never live anywhere for very long. He comes here and I am still living in the same house that he came home from the hospital to. This has always been a stable environment for him. He has all of his toys, a TV, a computer, everything he could possibly want here. I think he is responding to the highly more stable environment that he has with me. I think he needs the stability and structure that I provide. He craves it. He is the sweetest little boy in the world and I am nowhere near about to tell him he can't live here. I told him flat out that he would have to talk to his mom and see if she will let him. Basically putting it all off on her. Is there anything else you guys could suggest I do?
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Old 03-07-2013, 01:54 PM   #131
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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My first question is are there papers indicating custody?

I'm not a lawyer, never even played one on tv.
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Old 03-07-2013, 02:23 PM   #132
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My first question is are there papers indicating custody?

I'm not a lawyer, never even played one on tv.
Yes, she has custody. But I'm pretty sure that if he can talk her into it, she's sign over custody to me.
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Old 03-07-2013, 03:07 PM   #133
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I know u were lookin for guy advice... but as a chickie fdom the "dark side" (lol) I agree with you totally.

I have been d almost 3 years.... my kids have only met one "serious" boyfriend I had but waited 6 months...

He wanted me to move in, but my kids were not ready for that... so I said not now cuz of them n well we broke up because of it....

I date... some I keep longer but it is a priv. to meet my kids....

You are right... totally selfish of her... d is a change as it is... moving around n no stability is worse...

That is one of the reaaons he wants to live w ya....

Persue it.. u have a good case...

Good luck
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Old 03-07-2013, 03:49 PM   #134
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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kab720, there's no "darkside" on this

River, that sucks dude, there are a lot of things involved obviously. I'm sure I'll leave a lot out and not say some of it right, there's alot of details we don't know.

At 5.5 years old, I think he knows a lot more of what's going on that people will give kids credit for. He sees his mom moving around, different guys...... and there is no stability there. You ever see Christmas Vacation where Ruby Sue is taking about her house never being parked in the same place. That stuff is tough on a kid, hell it can be tough on adults. I think he wants his bed in the same place, he wants to stability in who is going to be around, and who he can play with. To be able to make long-term friends at a location and now school. He may like one BF and not another... too many changes for him.

Review the papers you signed and agreed on. I would talk to a lawyer so you know your rights before approaching her to sign over custody. I'm sure you'll need a lawyer involved for that anyway. Approach her with him living with you and visiting her on the weekends. But then have the backup plan ready to go.

She may balk if all of a sudden she thinks she's going to have to pay you child support, and you will be getting the tax credit. The point is, your son is 5 and can't and shouldn't be used a pawn. If your gut is telling you he's better off with you (and you are the stable parent) then you need to pursue that avenue. You should also know your son well enought to know if he's playing one parent off the other to take advantage of something.

One thing my lawyer told me in the divorce was Document, Document, Document.
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Old 03-07-2013, 05:03 PM   #135
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Please understand I am not saying that what you are saying is not true....IF you decide to pursue this, and other than "poor choices" not a stable environment.....it will be a very hard fight to switch custody....unless she agrees.

(it is easier obviousley if there is abuse or drug or alcohol issues)


The Key, in my mind, is to "not run her down" to your son, not saying that you would but it is easy to do, even when we don't mean to do that.

I know from experience that switching custody is a long hard road where the Lawyers are making the money and telling both people what they want to hear.

Maybe no support for either parent would work for a while?

Maybe a "simple modification to joint custody" and he chooses where he lives would be the easiest route to start..with reasonable visitation ...for both.....if she cares about your son, and doesn't want to deal with him being unhappy, she MIGHT go along. If she sees your son as a tool to hurt you, it is not easy to work them. I think that you may not care as much about the support and tax breaks, I know I didn't, as the kids being happy.


FWIW went through similar things with my daughters, they have now chosen who is in their life, (they are on their 20s and 30s) and that kinda bothers me that they shut their mom out...but kids learn quickly who is the "better" person and who they want in their life.

Good Luck and Prayers for your family.
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Old 03-07-2013, 05:12 PM   #136
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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Good words jp
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Old 03-07-2013, 06:00 PM   #137
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He and I have the best relationship we can. He loves his mom, but he does prefer the sanctuary of being at home he has been telling me for a while that he wants to live here.

I am going to have a long talk with his mom next time I see her. She does seem to be in the mood to do what is best for him. I have no problem giving her a very liberal visitation schedule and will tell her up front that I do not want a dime of child support. As far as the tax breaks go, she can have that as well. The money is of no consequence to me. His well being is the only thing that matters.

She takes him with her on dates. He sees her making out with her flavor of the month. He has walked in on her and her boyfriends "wrestling" several times. I'm sorry, but a 5 y/o doesn't need to be exposed to that. He has not met my girlfriend, although he likely will this weekend. We have been seeing each other for a year and while I have mentioned her, they have never come close to meeting.

He and his sister are the only people that really matter to me. I have done everything I can to give them stability at my house. We have rules, bedtimes, game time, play time, and everything else. He loves it here. If I can talk his mom into it, I will bring up the joint custody thing and let him choose where he stays between now and when school starts. Then he will have to make a decision if he wants to go to school here or there.
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Old 03-07-2013, 06:13 PM   #138
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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I'll say that's just no good for any kid.

I said I didn't want a dime of support in the divorce but they made me calculate it in and include it.
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Old 03-07-2013, 06:58 PM   #139
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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Here is one of my finer parenting moments. I said, Hey crawl out and hook the winch on. He almost fell in getting back in the Jeep. Lol

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Old 03-12-2013, 07:37 PM   #140
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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Ok Dads, I'm seeking opinions before I say what I told him.

After taking a few years off football, he's been lifting in the a.m. with the team and is excited for football.

He also just turned 16 and is excited to have money and a job (which he fortunately has connections for.)

Football will definitely limit some work potential for Spring training and obviously the upcoming season.

What advice would you give to your child?
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:02 PM   #141
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Ok Dads, I'm seeking opinions before I say what I told him.

After taking a few years off football, he's been lifting in the a.m. with the team and is excited for football.

He also just turned 16 and is excited to have money and a job (which he fortunately has connections for.)

Football will definitely limit some work potential for Spring training and obviously the upcoming season.

What advice would you give to your child?


I am sure people will be all over the board on this...and a lot of it depends on the maturity of your son...

On one hand leave it totally up to him with the understanding of what he will be "giving up" no matter what he chooses...and you will back him 100%.

The other side, the bonds that guys/ people create in situations where they work hard for something even if they "don't win State or whatever" is something teaches people about friends, relying on other people and working together. These are bonds that MAY last a life time.

If he chooses to do "both" he may quickly discover that "it is not worth what he is getting out of one or both", that is the point where you need to be the parent and either decide which he chooses or, teach him about commitment and following through on his word.

The last question is for you...How "good" is this job? Is it something that could turn into a career? Does it give him "ample" ready cash which you can not afford to replace? Or is it a "dead end" that is more something to do for cash?

No real answers for you but trying to point out things to consider.

Good Luck!!! (man I am glad my kids are grown!!)
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:15 PM   #142
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All things to consider. Thanks for your input.
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Old 03-12-2013, 11:34 PM   #143
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My boy plays varsity soccer and is on the Portland Oregon club team plus he takes honors english, math, etc. He also has a job at a golf course. I support him in everything he does, school first, sports second and work last as far as obligations. The way i see it is academics and sports will get my boy through school and onto a career.
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Old 03-12-2013, 11:53 PM   #144
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I played Varsity Golf (not the same, I know) in high school my Freshman and Sophomore years. The summer after my Sophomore year, I got a job. When it came time to start school my Junior year, I had the chose between signing up for athletics or keep my job. I chose the job. That said, this May, I will have been at the very same job for 15 years. I am at the top of the small company I work for. The only person I answer to is the owner, and that is really only to turn in my hours. I did not take a dead end, grocery sacking job like most people my age at the time did. But because of my work schedule, I never got the opportunity to go to university. I will be starting this Fall and leaving a job that I have spent half of my life doing. I'd say push him towards the sports and then let him work late evenings and weekends if that's what he can handle. Just my 2 cents.
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Old 03-14-2013, 07:18 PM   #145
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Basically, I told him he'll only be able to play football for a couple more years but he'll have to work for 45+ years.

He wants a car and to pay for his insurance. I tried to counsel on being upfront with the boss but to recognize he has a business to run.

There is obviously a lot more to it but that's the gist of it. We'll see what happens, thanks for the advice.
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Old 03-14-2013, 07:22 PM   #146
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Good Luck!! Teenage years are tough on Parents and KIDS!!
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Old 03-14-2013, 07:24 PM   #147
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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My gray is spreading rapidly. Lol

It would help me a lot if he were mobile. But that scares me to death too.
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Old 03-15-2013, 12:59 PM   #148
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I am a woman who was raised by a single dad. From my point of view, you guys are all saints. I've always felt that way, but I feel it even more now that I have my own son. For those of you with daughters, hang in there!!
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Old 03-15-2013, 06:24 PM   #149
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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I am a woman who was raised by a single dad. From my point of view, you guys are all saints. I've always felt that way, but I feel it even more now that I have my own son. For those of you with daughters, hang in there!!
Yeah, Daughters are fun. Not! Mine is now 24 heading for Savannah for St Patty's. Technically she's my stepdaughter but I raised her for 19 years so she's mine.

My man took the job and I have to take him back in the am to do the paperwork. First job besides mowing lawns. Boss said he'd be cool when football starts so just goes to show it's who you know.
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Old 03-15-2013, 08:49 PM   #150
Mmmm. Good Toast.

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Not for the queasy.

Weight lifting fail on my boy. What's wrong with this picture? Smells horrible, just saying.

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