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Old 04-21-2013, 10:58 PM   #241
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Well single dad sanctuary I guess I could use some advice or support ....like many other americans I was laid off and became behind on child support and even spent some time behind bars because of it....so the last time I went to court I was headed to school to become a certified harley technician ....during my schooling my child support was not to be held against me I must add....so I go to school ...graduate with honors....and am slowly getting my own shop going ...and now my problem ....even though I sent payments in while in school and missed only 2 payments after graduating and looking for a job they want to put me back in jail for non support ....this is my first summer out of school which is my best chance to make money ....so if they lock me up again then that's just more time I will get behind and many costumers I will loose...im at my wits end with this and on the verge of a mental breakdown ....any advice?

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Old 04-21-2013, 11:10 PM   #242
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Well single dad sanctuary I guess I could use some advice or support ....like many other americans I was laid off and became behind on child support and even spent some time behind bars because of it....so the last time I went to court I was headed to school to become a certified harley technician ....during my schooling my child support was not to be held against me I must add....so I go to school ...graduate with honors....and am slowly getting my own shop going ...and now my problem ....even though I sent payments in while in school and missed only 2 payments after graduating and looking for a job they want to put me back in jail for non support ....this is my first summer out of school which is my best chance to make money ....so if they lock me up again then that's just more time I will get behind and many costumers I will loose...im at my wits end with this and on the verge of a mental breakdown ....any advice?
Talk to a lawyer...that's your best bet.

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Old 04-22-2013, 03:05 AM   #243
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Talk to a lawyer...that's your best bet.
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Old 04-22-2013, 03:40 AM   #244
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Old 04-22-2013, 05:14 AM   #245
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I hate to say it but they are right about talking to a lawyer.....and I know it takes money to get a lawyer to get it into court......IMO it is a vicious circle that is encouraged by the legal people...you can't get into court with out a lawyer....but you need to go to court to preserve the situation you are in so you can get ahead/ caught up but can't afford a lawyer to get there.

I have no faith in lawyers/ court or government...sorry to be a "downer" but that is the facts from my perspective...get a lawyer involved....might try using the county or child support enforcement office..and get it documented so that if you do end up going to court..there is a record of you trying to fix/ avoid a bad situation/ be responsible. That might do you some good with a fair court.

Good Luck!!
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Old 04-22-2013, 06:37 AM   #246
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I hate to say it but they are right about talking to a lawyer.....and I know it takes money to get a lawyer to get it into court......IMO it is a vicious circle that is encouraged by the legal people...you can't get into court with out a lawyer....but you need to go to court to preserve the situation you are in so you can get ahead/ caught up but can't afford a lawyer to get there.

I have no faith in lawyers/ court or government...sorry to be a "downer" but that is the facts from my perspective...get a lawyer involved....might try using the county or child support enforcement office..and get it documented so that if you do end up going to court..there is a record of you trying to fix/ avoid a bad situation/ be responsible. That might do you some good with a fair court.

Good Luck!!
I also just don't see the point in putting someone in jail if they have no job to pay child support....unless they are a dead beat like my sister's x husband who isn't actively looking for a job and gets under the table to avoid paying it. Other wise, that's like repairing someone's home because they lose their job, it just doesn't make sense to me.
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Old 04-22-2013, 07:38 AM   #247
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I also just don't see the point in putting someone in jail if they have no job to pay child support....unless they are a dead beat like my sister's x husband who isn't actively looking for a job and gets under the table to avoid paying it. Other wise, that's like repairing someone's home because they lose their job, it just doesn't make sense to me.
I agree ...why put ne in jail when I get my daughter every chance I get and have her all summer ... not to mention I send just about every penny I make into child support....and yet now they want to put me back in jail during my busy season ....unfortunately I live in a small town and could only afford the $25 court appointed attorney and sadly around here they are all in cahoots with each other.....very seriously considering just not going to the court hearing
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Old 04-22-2013, 07:51 AM   #248
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I agree ...why put ne in jail when I get my daughter every chance I get and have her all summer ... not to mention I send just about every penny I make into child support....and yet now they want to put me back in jail during my busy season ....unfortunately I live in a small town and could only afford the $25 court appointed attorney and sadly around here they are all in cahoots with each other.....very seriously considering just not going to the court hearing
Don't do that! That would be a very bad idea. Then they really will put you in jail for not showing up to your court date.
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Old 04-22-2013, 07:54 AM   #249
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I understand that but seems like im screwed no matter what way I turn
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Old 04-22-2013, 08:10 AM   #250
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I understand that but seems like im screwed no matter what way I turn
But at least you tried. And you wouldn't have that on your record. The lesser of two "evils" you could say.
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Old 04-23-2013, 07:47 PM   #251
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Just found out my 24 yo daughter is moving across the country in July. Damn.
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Old 04-23-2013, 07:58 PM   #252
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Just found out my 24 yo daughter is moving across the country in July. Damn.
Ow man that sucks......but I KINDA understand...my youngest as you know is in the Army and I think is planning on doing it for a career so lots of away time.......I do hope she comes home when she retires.....but I figure someday maybe she will be back in the States and there will be a place on the way or close to her to go wheeling like Co Ca Az I know those 3 states have bases.....so Where is YOUR daughter going?
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Old 04-23-2013, 08:05 PM   #253
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She's leaving GA for NV. Really long story behind it.

I've raised her since she was 4 and just broke down but tried to hold it.

I saw it coming, just didn't expect it this soon. I hugged her trying to hold back tears and said we'll talk tomorrow night. Got to regroup.
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Old 04-23-2013, 08:14 PM   #254
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She's leaving GA for NV. Really long story behind it.

I've raised her since she was 4 and just broke down but tried to hold it.

I saw it coming, just didn't expect it this soon. I hugged her trying to hold back tears and said we'll talk tomorrow night. Got to regroup.
It's tough man I know but we gotta let them grow up...doesn't hurt to break down when they are there.....Question for ya...gonna PM....
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Old 04-23-2013, 08:23 PM   #255
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One of my best memories is car shopping with her last December. We picked out a car and grabbed the salesman for a test drive.

He looked at the car and said "This is a stick." She just looked at him and said "My daddy taught me right." What could I do but smile.

They grow up, but tonight was a bit out of the blue. I apologize if I sound like a tool but I'm a bit taken aback this evening.
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Old 04-24-2013, 06:17 PM   #256
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One of my best memories is car shopping with her last December. We picked out a car and grabbed the salesman for a test drive.

He looked at the car and said "This is a stick." She just looked at him and said "My daddy taught me right." What could I do but smile.

They grow up, but tonight was a bit out of the blue. I apologize if I sound like a tool but I'm a bit taken aback this evening.
no apologies necessary, my son is looking forward to learning to drive a stick in the Jeep... as soon as he gets his license back
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Old 04-24-2013, 06:43 PM   #257
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Hi guys, not really a single dad (I'm re-married as is my ex-wife), but my son grew up being bounced back and forth between the two of us.

It was a hell of a rough road, but my son is now 19 and finishing his first year of college. I never thought I'd see the day he was in college, but its really happening. I just hope he sticks with it. He wants to get his general studies out of the way and get his Associates the. Go on to the fire academy and become a fireman. He's wanted that since he was a kid so I'm happy to see him follow his dreams.

Anyway, i just thought I'd pop in and say 'hi'.
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Old 04-24-2013, 08:17 PM   #258
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Hola knuckle.

She's grown, I get it. I just don't like the circumstances behind it.
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Old 04-25-2013, 08:52 PM   #259
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Do y'all remember being 16 thinking your parents are idiots? Lol.
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Old 04-25-2013, 09:04 PM   #260
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Do y'all remember being 16 thinking your parents are idiots? Lol.
Hell yeah, im 38 and still think my parents are idiots!!!
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Old 04-25-2013, 09:15 PM   #261
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I drove cross country with my dad at 31 years old and had some great talks. My perspective on life changed completely.

I gained respect for my dad in ways I can't express in words. I only can dream of being half the man my dad is. Just saying, it's a different way of life now.
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Old 04-26-2013, 04:14 AM   #262
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Do y'all remember being 16 thinking your parents are idiots? Lol.
Haha! Yep! I can remember that. Thinking you know "everything"...geez, if I knew then what I know now...
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Old 04-26-2013, 04:28 AM   #263
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I have respect for my dad in ways I can't express in words. I only can dream of being half the man my dad is. Just saying, it's a different way of life now.
X2 man, my dad is one of my best friends. I can always go to him for advice.
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Old 04-26-2013, 04:49 AM   #264
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I actually just happen to stumble upon this and thought I'd share. I was a single father for about a month or so right after my son was born. Be thankful for your kids, I was at only 18. Losing him is the one thing I've lost Id give anything to have back.
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Old 04-26-2013, 06:02 AM   #265
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I have been fortunate...after too many years thinking my parents didn't know what the real world was like.....I got the opportunity to make amends...and grow a relationship again....mom had 7 strokes before she died and dad and I were determined she wouldn't be in a nursing home, so I moved them in with me....4 years ago. I couldn't and didn't want to send dad back to the family home, when mom did pass away, so he has stayed with me, and my wife of almost one year now, understands he will always be here.

I got a second chance and got very lucky...saw something on FB about not taking the chance to give someone a hug and than never having that chance again.......
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:01 PM   #266
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I have been fortunate...after too many years thinking my parents didn't know what the real world was like.....I got the opportunity to make amends...and grow a relationship again....mom had 7 strokes before she died and dad and I were determined she wouldn't be in a nursing home, so I moved them in with me....4 years ago. I couldn't and didn't want to send dad back to the family home, when mom did pass away, so he has stayed with me, and my wife of almost one year now, understands he will always be here.

I got a second chance and got very lucky...saw something on FB about not taking the chance to give someone a hug and than never having that chance again.......
My Dad died when I was 18 and he wasn't around much before that. When my son was born I promised myself it wouldn't be that way for my son and myself, and after my ex and I separated I was even more determined to be a major part of my son's life. For the past 15 years I've managed to keep my promise. After next year he'll be heading off to college, and while it will only be three hours away, it will be a major adjustment for me... not sure how well I'll handle it.

Take every opportunity you can to spend time with your children... time spent with your children can never be taken away from you, but, a moment passed on can never be recaptured.
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:31 PM   #267
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Take every opportunity you can to spend time with your children... time spent with your children can never be taken away from you, but, a moment passed on can never be recaptured.
This
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:39 PM   #268
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This
Ditto
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Old 04-27-2013, 05:58 AM   #269
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Take every opportunity you can to spend time with your children... time spent with your children can never be taken away from you, but, a moment passed on can never be recaptured.
That is so true!

I might add, take time with your parents too because missed time can never be recaptured.

I'm 47. My dad had an 18 month battle with brain and lung cancer and a battle that he ultimately lost. I was there every single moment I could be - basically moving back in my my parents. I was there when he took his last breath. That was 8 years ago.

"Life" happened and my current wife and I moved 900 miles from "home" about 5 years ago to maintain a relationship with my son (ex moved and took him with her). It's not the first time I've uprooted and moved my life for my son.

Anyway, my mom died two months ago after a series of falls and diabetes related illnesses and while I was there as much as I could have been, to me it still wasn't enough. I'm wrestling with that now and am questioning a lot of my decisions.

My son, who lives with his mom, has had to deal with a lot of "bad" in his life when it comes to death. His other grandfather passed away very suddenly about 9.5 years ago. While my ex doesn't do much to help my son get through these kinds of tragedies, it's refreshing, in a sense, that he comes to me. Even though my son doesn't live with me, our bond is something that he and his mother will never have. He's in college now and in the last five or six years, he's really come to understand how a father-son relationship really works.

I'm very proud of how my son is turning out. He's doing well in college, holds down a full time job, has his own vehicle and a very sweet girlfriend that really keeps him grounded!
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Old 04-27-2013, 03:53 PM   #270
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That is so true!

I might add, take time with your parents too because missed time can never be recaptured.

I'm 47. My dad had an 18 month battle with brain and lung cancer and a battle that he ultimately lost. I was there every single moment I could be - basically moving back in my my parents. I was there when he took his last breath. That was 8 years ago.

"Life" happened and my current wife and I moved 900 miles from "home" about 5 years ago to maintain a relationship with my son (ex moved and took him with her). It's not the first time I've uprooted and moved my life for my son.

Anyway, my mom died two months ago after a series of falls and diabetes related illnesses and while I was there as much as I could have been, to me it still wasn't enough. I'm wrestling with that now and am questioning a lot of my decisions.

My son, who lives with his mom, has had to deal with a lot of "bad" in his life when it comes to death. His other grandfather passed away very suddenly about 9.5 years ago. While my ex doesn't do much to help my son get through these kinds of tragedies, it's refreshing, in a sense, that he comes to me. Even though my son doesn't live with me, our bond is something that he and his mother will never have. He's in college now and in the last five or six years, he's really come to understand how a father-son relationship really works.

I'm very proud of how my son is turning out. He's doing well in college, holds down a full time job, has his own vehicle and a very sweet girlfriend that really keeps him grounded!
Sounds like you are on the right track with your son, I feel very much the same way about the relationship I have with my son. Fortunately, I have to say I couldn't pick a better person to be his mother (she's just not the ideal person to be my wife) and between her and I my son is growing into a person I am so proud of. As for the part about spending time with your parents, I just finished up my second 58 hour work week and I hadn't talked to my parents in a couple weeks so I decided to go spend some time with them after work today and there was my son visiting his grandparents... so, I got to spend time with all of them.

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