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Old 04-11-2009, 10:05 PM   #1
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The Official CHUCK NORRIS Thread

Chuck Norris once sneezed while vacationing in mexico...he caused a hurricane in florida...devastating



**edit....this should be made sticky...could potentially have lots of crucial information eventually.
It could be a matter of life and death.

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Old 04-11-2009, 10:10 PM   #2
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:14 PM   #3
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:15 PM   #4
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Ditka can whoop chuck with both hands tied behind his back and blindfolded wearing a 100 ball and shackle.
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:16 PM   #5
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:22 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by koorslitek0wb0y View Post
Ditka can whoop chuck with both hands tied behind his back and blindfolded wearing a 100 ball and shackle.
you know thats not true...I bet you chuck norris is hiding in your bushes right now cause he heard you say that.
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:33 PM   #7
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:39 PM   #8
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There is not a chin behind Chuck Norris's beard, just another fist.
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:43 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KBR97 View Post
you know thats not true...I bet you chuck norris is hiding in your bushes right now cause he heard you say that.

thats ok cause i have the Ditka security system...
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:53 PM   #10
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If you google search Chuck Norris it will return zero results. You don't find Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris finds you!
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Old 04-11-2009, 11:14 PM   #11
I HAVE A BELLYBUTTON!

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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.....he just stares at them until they give up all their information.

Chuck Norris is the only man who can un-scramble an egg.
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Old 04-11-2009, 11:16 PM   #12
I HAVE A BELLYBUTTON!

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There is no truth in the Theory Of Evolution.......we're all just a bunch of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Americans sleep safely in their beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do them harm...

Happiness is a Barrett M82A1 .50 caliber and a target at least a click out........

I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you with tears in my eyes, if you f**k with me, I'll kill you all.....
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Old 04-11-2009, 11:23 PM   #13
Really?

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Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pisses.
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Old 04-11-2009, 11:27 PM   #14
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There was an old rumor about Chuck Norris getting beaten by a pirate. Come to find out, Chuck Norris started that rumor to lure in more pirates....
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Americans sleep safely in their beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do them harm...

Happiness is a Barrett M82A1 .50 caliber and a target at least a click out........

I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you with tears in my eyes, if you f**k with me, I'll kill you all.....
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Old 04-11-2009, 11:29 PM   #15
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Mr. T and Chuck Norris walked into a bar. The bar was immediately destroyed because no simple structure can house that much awesome at one time.
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Old 04-12-2009, 07:25 AM   #16
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chuck norris doesn't sleep, he waits
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Old 04-12-2009, 07:45 AM   #17
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chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding
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Old 04-12-2009, 07:49 AM   #18
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chuck norris CAN lick his elbow

how many tried to do it after reading that?? c'mon, be honest. and please post video.
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"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president."
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Old 04-12-2009, 07:49 AM   #19
that's what she said

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chuck norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Old 04-12-2009, 10:35 AM   #20
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO
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"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president."
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Old 04-12-2009, 10:51 AM   #21
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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

-Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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Old 05-03-2013, 08:55 PM   #22
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When Chuck Norris does pushups he doesnt push his body up, he pushes the earth DOWN!!!
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Old 05-03-2013, 08:59 PM   #23
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Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries...
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Old 05-04-2013, 08:19 PM   #24
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Chuck Norris CAN slam a revolving door!!
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:54 AM   #25
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Chuck Norris doesn't lie - he changes the facts..
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Old 05-05-2013, 01:50 PM   #26
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Clint Eastwood > Chuck Norris.
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Old 05-06-2013, 12:20 PM   #27
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Quote:
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Clint Eastwood > Chuck Norris.
Lmfao.

A small lesion fell off Chuck Norris while visiting San Francisco as a young boy. When it sat in the sunshine for a day, it evolved into a 15 year old boy - named Clint Eastwood.

Global warming isn't what y'all think - chuck got cold, so he turned the sun up.
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:54 PM   #28
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 4 people......then the grenade exploded.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi trucks gas tank as a joke, that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Old 05-06-2013, 07:18 PM   #29
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin, just another fist.
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Old 05-06-2013, 07:30 PM   #30
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

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