The Severely Politically Incorrect Thread - Jeep Wrangler Forum
Jeep Wrangler Forum

Go Back   Jeep Wrangler Forum > General Discussion Forums > Off-Topic

Join Wrangler Forum Today


Reply
 
Thread Tools

Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about them on WranglerForum.com
Old 01-09-2009, 10:12 AM   #1
Pushy, Loudmouthed, and Ballsy
 
Dare2BSquare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Driving Around Arkansas In My Black XJ
Posts: 6,177
The Severely Politically Incorrect Thread

Quote:
Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui."

Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!

Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture wars, the Retrosexual movement. Formerly known as NORMAL!

The Code :

A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.

A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you are a God.

A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman.

Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)

A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.

A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be.

This falls under the "Dealing with It" portion of The Code.

A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.

A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little wuss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot.

A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.

A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".

Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part, or loss of major body part on your truck.

When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.

A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner.

A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.

A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank.

A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land. Except on his truck--that would happen because of a "force of nature", and then the retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT, or do both.

A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.


A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.

A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT !

A Restrosexual Man is Normal.

There. I feel much better now! (Belch)

Can I get an "AMEN"?

__________________
99 XJ Sport
4.0l
AW4
NP231
d30/C8.25
3" Skyjacker lift
31 x 10.50 General Grabbers


http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...are/TMLogo.gif Are all fishermen liars, or do only liars fish?
Dare2BSquare is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 10:18 AM   #2
I luv bourbonz!
 
02Prove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bartlett, TN
Posts: 3,089
I feel testosterone raging through my veins just reading that.

__________________
"So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey."
W. C. Fields
02Prove is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 10:29 AM   #3
Jeeper
 
afrats's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 1,531
Send a message via MSN to afrats
Amen!!!
__________________
My strength is made
perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9


afrats is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 10:41 AM   #4
I HAVE A BELLYBUTTON!

WF Supporting Member
 
cavediverjc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: On the grassy knoll...
Posts: 6,997
Good stuff!! I see that discrimination against 2LTs is across the board. Love it.

__________________
Americans sleep safely in their beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do them harm...

Happiness is a Barrett M82A1 .50 caliber and a target at least a click out........

I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you with tears in my eyes, if you f**k with me, I'll kill you all.....
cavediverjc is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 12:43 PM   #5
Pushy, Loudmouthed, and Ballsy
 
Dare2BSquare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Driving Around Arkansas In My Black XJ
Posts: 6,177
So, let's take this thread to the next level.

Officially making it a Top Ten of Manly Things thread.

To start off simply list the top ten manly vehicles of all time. Whoever posts number one, names the next top ten manly list.

10) John Deere Tractors
__________________
99 XJ Sport
4.0l
AW4
NP231
d30/C8.25
3" Skyjacker lift
31 x 10.50 General Grabbers


http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...are/TMLogo.gif Are all fishermen liars, or do only liars fish?
Dare2BSquare is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 12:52 PM   #6
Jeeper
 
Unlimited's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Gone.... and most likely forgotten.
Posts: 3,044
9) Bass boats
Unlimited is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:03 PM   #7
Pushy, Loudmouthed, and Ballsy
 
Dare2BSquare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Driving Around Arkansas In My Black XJ
Posts: 6,177
8) Love em, or hate em, Monster Trucks are manly.
__________________
99 XJ Sport
4.0l
AW4
NP231
d30/C8.25
3" Skyjacker lift
31 x 10.50 General Grabbers


http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...are/TMLogo.gif Are all fishermen liars, or do only liars fish?
Dare2BSquare is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:14 PM   #8
Wrecktrician
 
4point's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Central Sierra
Posts: 7,351
7. Toyota Prius
__________________
Just getting to work is an adventure.
4point is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:16 PM   #9
Pushy, Loudmouthed, and Ballsy
 
Dare2BSquare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Driving Around Arkansas In My Black XJ
Posts: 6,177
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4point View Post
7. Flat Toyota Prius (with tire track stripes)
Fixed.
__________________
99 XJ Sport
4.0l
AW4
NP231
d30/C8.25
3" Skyjacker lift
31 x 10.50 General Grabbers


http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...are/TMLogo.gif Are all fishermen liars, or do only liars fish?
Dare2BSquare is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:17 PM   #10
In a trailer in the woods

WF Supporting Member
 
Barrie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Greater downtown Brownsville,Kentucky
Posts: 40,062
Send a message via AIM to Barrie Send a message via Yahoo to Barrie
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4point View Post
7. Toyota Prius
Now that's just plain wrong! Of course it would give the Monster truck something to run over.
__________________
2006 Unlimited Soft Top


Skillfully disguised as a responsible adult


Barrie is online now   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:20 PM   #11
Wrecktrician
 
4point's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Central Sierra
Posts: 7,351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dare2BSquare View Post
Fixed.
You forgot "Powder Blue"
__________________
Just getting to work is an adventure.
4point is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:22 PM   #12
Pushy, Loudmouthed, and Ballsy
 
Dare2BSquare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Driving Around Arkansas In My Black XJ
Posts: 6,177
7 B.) Chariot.
__________________
99 XJ Sport
4.0l
AW4
NP231
d30/C8.25
3" Skyjacker lift
31 x 10.50 General Grabbers


http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...are/TMLogo.gif Are all fishermen liars, or do only liars fish?
Dare2BSquare is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:23 PM   #13
Genius!

WF Supporting Member
::WF Moderator::
 
Coyote_94YJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 20,803
Send a message via ICQ to Coyote_94YJ Send a message via Yahoo to Coyote_94YJ
The prius doesn't count.

6)Any tractor truck built by Kenworth, Freightliner, Mack, or Peterbilt.
Coyote_94YJ is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:27 PM   #14
In a trailer in the woods

WF Supporting Member
 
Barrie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Greater downtown Brownsville,Kentucky
Posts: 40,062
Send a message via AIM to Barrie Send a message via Yahoo to Barrie
#5) D9 Cat Dozer.
__________________
2006 Unlimited Soft Top


Skillfully disguised as a responsible adult


Barrie is online now   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:29 PM   #15
Genius!

WF Supporting Member
::WF Moderator::
 
Coyote_94YJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 20,803
Send a message via ICQ to Coyote_94YJ Send a message via Yahoo to Coyote_94YJ
I like the D10 better.

Coyote_94YJ is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:30 PM   #16
I HAVE A BELLYBUTTON!

WF Supporting Member
 
cavediverjc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: On the grassy knoll...
Posts: 6,997
AC-130 Spooky/Spectre........raining death for all who oppose!!!
__________________
Americans sleep safely in their beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do them harm...

Happiness is a Barrett M82A1 .50 caliber and a target at least a click out........

I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you with tears in my eyes, if you f**k with me, I'll kill you all.....
cavediverjc is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:31 PM   #17
Wrecktrician
 
4point's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Central Sierra
Posts: 7,351
Quote:
Originally Posted by coyote_94yj View Post
I like the D10 better.

Very manly!!!
__________________
Just getting to work is an adventure.
4point is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:32 PM   #18
In a trailer in the woods

WF Supporting Member
 
Barrie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Greater downtown Brownsville,Kentucky
Posts: 40,062
Send a message via AIM to Barrie Send a message via Yahoo to Barrie
Quote:
Originally Posted by cavediverjc View Post
ac-130 spooky........raining death for all who oppose!!!
amen!
__________________
2006 Unlimited Soft Top


Skillfully disguised as a responsible adult


Barrie is online now   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:42 PM   #19
Genius!

WF Supporting Member
::WF Moderator::
 
Coyote_94YJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 20,803
Send a message via ICQ to Coyote_94YJ Send a message via Yahoo to Coyote_94YJ
3) The Cat 797B Dump Truck

Coyote_94YJ is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:52 PM   #20
Jeeper
 
afrats's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 1,531
Send a message via MSN to afrats
2) Aren't we forgetting...JEEPS!!!!
__________________
My strength is made
perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9


afrats is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 01:56 PM   #21
Wrecktrician
 
4point's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Central Sierra
Posts: 7,351
1. Wrangler TJ's

Most manly footwear:
__________________
Just getting to work is an adventure.
4point is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 02:21 PM   #22
Jeeper
 
Unlimited's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Gone.... and most likely forgotten.
Posts: 3,044
10) Crocks (just ask Jack)



Jack Nicholson and George Bush wear them!
Unlimited is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 02:33 PM   #23
I luv bourbonz!
 
02Prove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bartlett, TN
Posts: 3,089
Lineman Boots

/thread
__________________
"So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey."
W. C. Fields
02Prove is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 02:44 PM   #24
I HAVE A BELLYBUTTON!

WF Supporting Member
 
cavediverjc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: On the grassy knoll...
Posts: 6,997
Ripple-soled desert boots with just a splash of haji blood on the right toe....
__________________
Americans sleep safely in their beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do them harm...

Happiness is a Barrett M82A1 .50 caliber and a target at least a click out........

I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you with tears in my eyes, if you f**k with me, I'll kill you all.....
cavediverjc is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 02:56 PM   #25
Pushy, Loudmouthed, and Ballsy
 
Dare2BSquare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Driving Around Arkansas In My Black XJ
Posts: 6,177
7) Shoes? We don't need no stinkin shoes!!!!!
__________________
99 XJ Sport
4.0l
AW4
NP231
d30/C8.25
3" Skyjacker lift
31 x 10.50 General Grabbers


http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...are/TMLogo.gif Are all fishermen liars, or do only liars fish?
Dare2BSquare is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 03:20 PM   #26
Genius!

WF Supporting Member
::WF Moderator::
 
Coyote_94YJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 20,803
Send a message via ICQ to Coyote_94YJ Send a message via Yahoo to Coyote_94YJ
Quote:
Originally Posted by cavediverjc View Post
Ripple-soled desert boots with just a splash of haji blood on the right toe....
That should be #1 on the top ten.
Coyote_94YJ is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 03:43 PM   #27
Pushy, Loudmouthed, and Ballsy
 
Dare2BSquare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Driving Around Arkansas In My Black XJ
Posts: 6,177
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4point View Post
Most manly footwear:
Ummmmm, this is not what I expected in a Retrosexual thread.
__________________
99 XJ Sport
4.0l
AW4
NP231
d30/C8.25
3" Skyjacker lift
31 x 10.50 General Grabbers


http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...are/TMLogo.gif Are all fishermen liars, or do only liars fish?
Dare2BSquare is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 03:49 PM   #28
Wrecktrician
 
4point's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Central Sierra
Posts: 7,351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dare2BSquare View Post
Ummmmm, this is not what I expected in a Retrosexual thread.

Sorry...........
__________________
Just getting to work is an adventure.
4point is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 04:31 PM   #29
Genius!

WF Supporting Member
::WF Moderator::
 
Coyote_94YJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 20,803
Send a message via ICQ to Coyote_94YJ Send a message via Yahoo to Coyote_94YJ
I dunno, I feel a theme coming on.

6) Caterpillar boots.









I like where this is going.
Coyote_94YJ is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Old 01-09-2009, 04:44 PM   #30
Jeeper
 
Unlimited's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Gone.... and most likely forgotten.
Posts: 3,044
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dare2BSquare View Post
Ummmmm, this is not what I expected in a Retrosexual thread.
And pray tell, what exactly did you expect?

Unlimited is offline   Quote Quick Reply
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Jeep Wrangler Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



« hey | Fawk yeah! »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Offical WF Beer Review Thread... ccain Off-Topic 56 07-06-2013 02:49 PM
How to Multi-Quote Scout Off-Topic 27 02-16-2012 03:47 PM
Which Thread is that? nicolas-eric TJ General Discussion Forum 24 11-28-2007 07:04 PM
Politically Incorrect Warning Dare2BSquare Off-Topic 2 11-05-2007 06:45 PM


logo carid shop wrangler parts carid fender flares custom wheels store avs deflectors at carid

» Network Links
»Jeep Parts
» Featured Product

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:05 AM.



Jeep®, Wrangler, Liberty, Wagoneer, Cherokee, and Grand Cherokee are copyrighted and trademarked to Chrysler Motors LLC.
Wranglerforum.com is not in any way associated with the Chrysler Motors LLC