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Old 05-23-2007, 10:04 AM   #1
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Would you remarry?

A Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question.

---------------



WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?



HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!'



WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'



HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.'



WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?'



HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'



WIFE: 'You would?' (with a hurt look)



HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)



WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'



HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.'



WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?'



HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?'



WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'



HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.'



WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'



HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do'



WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'



HUSBAND : 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'



WIFE: 'Would you take her golfing with you?



HUSBAND: 'Yes, those are always good times.'



WIFE: 'Would she use my clubs?



HUSBAND: 'No, she's left-handed.'



WIFE: -- silence ------



HUSBAND: 'Shit.'

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Old 05-23-2007, 10:21 AM   #2
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funny chris.....

now let's hear the one and only thing he could have said at the very beginning so that he didn't get in trouble

"No baby, I would curl up into a ball and die without you by my side." (I'm sure there's a fatal flaw in this statement though)

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Old 05-23-2007, 10:29 AM   #3
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Old 05-23-2007, 11:09 AM   #4
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Well, I would have said, "Hell no. I'm selling everything and running off to a tropical island (with my jeep), live in a hut and sip Corona the rest of my days."
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Old 05-23-2007, 11:18 AM   #5
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live in a hut and sip Corona the rest of my days."
Hell yea! I'll' bring the limes.....

Anyway, funny story but for some reason I could feel that ending coming.

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Old 05-23-2007, 12:41 PM   #6
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funny chris.....

now let's hear the one and only thing he could have said at the very beginning so that he didn't get in trouble

"No baby, I would curl up into a ball and die without you by my side." (I'm sure there's a fatal flaw in this statement though)
I'm sure there is a fatal flaw in everything that any husband says to his wife. I swear - I can manage to get in trouble just by saying "Hi" sometimes.

Eric
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Old 05-23-2007, 04:42 PM   #7
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You know, it's not what you say but how you say it.
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I'm not gonna go over that......

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Old 05-23-2007, 04:55 PM   #8
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I've always said "Nothing will ruin a relationship faster than communication" .
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Old 05-23-2007, 05:30 PM   #9
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I'm sure there is a fatal flaw in everything that any husband says to his wife. I swear - I can manage to get in trouble just by saying "Hi" sometimes.

Eric

Stick with groping, can't go wrong with that.
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Old 05-23-2007, 07:26 PM   #10
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Old 05-23-2007, 07:27 PM   #11
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I tried "why would I want to do that AGAIN?!?!?"



(It didn't work either)
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Old 05-23-2007, 07:30 PM   #12
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Because you probably screamed "Oh dear lord no, I'd rather stick an icepick in my ear" and started to cry.
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Old 05-23-2007, 07:33 PM   #13
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Dang, Tiny!

I guess I missed ANOTHER bug!
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Old 05-24-2007, 02:06 AM   #14
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Wow! you all give a newly engaged guy so much to look forward too... of course so is everyone else.
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Old 05-24-2007, 08:58 AM   #15
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Wow! you all give a newly engaged guy so much to look forward too... of course so is everyone else.
It's not too bad, just don't plan on making any more decisions... EVER! About ANYTHING!
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Old 05-28-2007, 04:50 PM   #16
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Yeah pal...what he said! ^^^
Get used to it!
And here is just a little primer to get you used to the inner-workings of the married man. Watch and learn!

The MAN Song

Sad but true...

I always had the last word around the house and it was usually "Yes Dear!"
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Old 05-28-2007, 06:45 PM   #17
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You guys are just choosing the wrong girls. See, you see a woman who's all done up, long fingernails, jewelry. And she smiles a lot, she's nice to you, giggles at your dumbass jokes, and you get all stupid. Then there's the chick who torments you, beats you at pool, tells you to get your own sandwich, and can open a beer on the edge of a table. She ain't going to change. She'll be as mean to you after as she is before. Those nice ones are just faking. We're all mean, like bobcats. Some of us just embrace it and let fly.
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Old 05-28-2007, 07:09 PM   #18
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You guys are just choosing the wrong girls. See, you see a woman who's all done up, long fingernails, jewelry. And she smiles a lot, she's nice to you, giggles at your dumbass jokes, and you get all stupid. Then there's the chick who torments you, beats you at pool, tells you to get your own sandwich, and can open a beer on the edge of a table. She ain't going to change. She'll be as mean to you after as she is before. Those nice ones are just faking. We're all mean, like bobcats. Some of us just embrace it and let fly.
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Old 05-28-2007, 07:24 PM   #19
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Tiny....Will you marry me?
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Old 05-28-2007, 07:32 PM   #20
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I don't think my fella would take too kindly to that. And yes, I'm mean to him.
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Old 05-28-2007, 10:55 PM   #21
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I'm ;ost so what going on here and whos groping who? groping is good it leads up to biiger and more eventful things....
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Old 05-28-2007, 11:13 PM   #22
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Lost? Sounds like you're right on target.
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Old 05-28-2007, 11:41 PM   #23
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Oh no no no don't be mistaken Tiny ,please ,I'm not lost for "that" I'm lost when it comes to this thread I'm never lost for that maybe tempoarily disoriented, but never lost.
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Old 05-29-2007, 12:39 AM   #24
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Groping mean chicks...what an idea. Seriously, Tiny's got it right, high maintenance fake chicks turn out meaner, get one who is herself and a little fiesty (sp).
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Old 05-29-2007, 12:42 AM   #25
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I agree one hundered persent and no means yes the second time..haha
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Old 05-29-2007, 01:04 AM   #26
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I agree one hundered persent and no means yes the second time..haha

Not exactly, Mike. Not exactly. My groping comment was meant purely to be used on a loved one. Last uninvited grope I got from a stranger earned him an elbow to the chest and then the face. And that was before I turned around.... course, he was pretending to put me in a headlock.
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Old 05-29-2007, 10:26 AM   #27
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I don't grope stangers just my wife but when I wake her up she no I'm sleeping, so technically with my wife no means yes the second time

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