Roping A Deer-------(Names have been removed to protect the Stupid!)
Actual letter from someone who farms and writes well!
"I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The
first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since
they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of
me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff
at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet
away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a
bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it
home. I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
Thecattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They
were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up --
3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end
of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared
at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would
have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you
could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I
took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on
the rope and then received an education. The first thing that I learned
is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while
you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that
rope. That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for
pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt
in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some
A deer - no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled.
There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it
jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it
occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an
idea as I had originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not
have as much stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it
was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me
when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this,
since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in
my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just
wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if
I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely
die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all
between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would
venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head
and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's
momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me
across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that
there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of
responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer
to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in
between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before
hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I
started moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bitten by a
horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and
shakes its head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a
deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.
While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached
up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my
final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with
their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right
about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an animal - like a horse - strikes
at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing
to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards
the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can
escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such
trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a
different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit
you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because
the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and
knocked me down. Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it
does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the
danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and
down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and
covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the
deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they
bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.
Found on another forum.
"But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." - Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of Virginia, 1782
Arguing with a truck driver is like wrestling with a pig in mud, eventually you realize the pig enjoys it.
OMG! I work with a deer hunter. He uses a bow. And one time he killed one (or so he thought) and when he walked upto what he thougth was a dead deer it stood up and started chaseing him. He wend down into a gully and the deer slid, my coworker grabed his knife and jumped on the deer and slit its throat! he said it was one of the scaryest time of his life. This is hillarious.
I thought it was strange that he had deer feeding at his cattle feeder, but he felt he had to capture one and feed it to fatten it up. Seems like they were doing that just fine without his help.
I grew up on a farm, they will walk up and eat right with the cows. I never had the thought of, lets throw a rope around its neck. Shoot it yes, hit it with a truck yes, among other ways of killing it.
Does anyone swerve to hit animals on the road?
2000 Wrangler Sport
2 in Procomp SL 1 in BL
33 in Procomp MTs
if he was going to try this he should have tried to get a fawn they don't fight we took one in once when i was a kid mother got hit by a car and we bottle raised it ad let it loose but for that reason they get big and mean
some say why i say
its a jeep thing u wouldn't understand
I would have thought that if you really just HAD to rope a deer, you would anchor the rope to a post or tractor or farm truck ball hitch but not your waist. Someone needs to fix this guy so he doesn't contaminate the gene pool.
Ok, call me a skeptic, but I'm guessing this was some sort of creative writing assignment and never actually happened. This person has a moderate command of the written word.......do you think someone with this amount of intelligence would really attempt to rope a deer? I can see this happening in the backwoods of some hillbilly state......or in a trailer park. I'm guessing that this letter would be in crayon and in horribly butchered, grammatically incorrect English if it did indeed happen.
Makes for a good read though!!
Americans sleep safely in their beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do them harm...
Happiness is a Barrett M82A1 .50 caliber and a target at least a click out........
I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you with tears in my eyes, if you f**k with me, I'll kill you all.....