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Old 12-17-2011, 02:55 AM   #1
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you know it's a hick bar when

You stop in to see the owner and it has been awhile and one family member in the bar asks so who are you?

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Old 12-17-2011, 03:03 AM   #2
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when all they have is the beast on tap....

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Old 12-17-2011, 03:12 AM   #3
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You can put 10 people together, and still not have a full set of teeth.
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Old 12-17-2011, 03:43 AM   #4
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You can put 10 people together, and still not have a full set of teeth.
LOL! for sure!!
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Old 12-17-2011, 07:22 AM   #5
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when everyone is carrying a gun
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Old 12-17-2011, 08:39 AM   #6
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When the snacks on the bar are REAL animal nuts.
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Old 12-17-2011, 08:56 AM   #7
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I live in the country, right on I-25 though, and there is a bar across the interstate from my store and in the summer months you'll find goats in the bar. I have no idea of their purpose in the bar since I've been banned from the bar going on 10 years now.

Yes, I can see the humor in it, goats are allowed in my local bar but I'm not.
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:15 AM   #8
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The original 60's lighted sign out fron is covered with a hand painted banner with the new name.

The parking lot is gravel, with nothing in it but pre-90s pickups and an El Camino.

The dumpster is by the front door, along with some old folding lawn chairs and a big brown stain from baccer juice.

The juke box full of 70s country music sits next an empty cigarette machine.

The concrete floor still has some patches of some brown looking vinyl tile here and there.

The menu consists of pickled bologna, pickled eggs or pickled hot dogs served with pretzels from the piggly wiggly across the street.

I could go on, but I'd rather not get into how I know this stuff.
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:19 AM   #9
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the jute box has 45 records and not cd's or mp3's
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:33 AM   #10
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Years ago, while driving to the grand canyon for some hiking, 250 miles from nowhere in every direction... I saw one brightly lit sign on a pole outside an old wood panel shack proudly declaring "Ice cold beer, Guns, and Ammo!".
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:37 AM   #11
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Quote:
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the jute box has 45 records and not cd's or mp3's
He doesn't mean 45 different records.
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:42 AM   #12
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He doesn't mean 45 different records.
more like 4 or 5 records.
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:45 AM   #13
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When there are more 4-wheelers in the parking lot than vehicles.

When there are more animal mounts on the wall than seats.
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:59 AM   #14
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in winter you drive you snowmobile there.
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life is too short to be taken seriously all the time,,,, go buy a MR.potato head and have some fun.
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Old 12-17-2011, 11:45 AM   #15
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When theres a sign above the bar that says "sexual harrassment will not be prosecuted, it will be judged"
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Old 12-17-2011, 12:55 PM   #16
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When you can see the bar from the urinal.
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Old 12-17-2011, 12:56 PM   #17
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When it's a strip club and you don't want to see any of the girls naked.
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Old 12-17-2011, 01:43 PM   #18
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When the dancers are chewing tobacco, and she has a tatoo that says "I know what to spit and what to swallow"
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Old 12-17-2011, 01:52 PM   #19
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Every vehicle in the parking has a gun rack.
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Old 12-17-2011, 01:53 PM   #20
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You see allot of dirt on the floor and realize it IS the floor.
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Old 12-17-2011, 01:57 PM   #21
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When it's a strip club and you don't want to see any of the girls naked.
I think I know that place....
Usually leave before the show.
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Old 12-17-2011, 02:00 PM   #22
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When sitting at a booth requires moving a transmission first.
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Old 12-17-2011, 02:50 PM   #23
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When the dancers are chewing tobacco, and she has a tatoo that says "I know what to spit and what to swallow"
Win! There's a keeper!
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Old 12-17-2011, 02:51 PM   #24
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When sitting at a booth requires moving a transmission first.
You drinking in my garage too?
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Old 12-18-2011, 12:47 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PecosRiver
I live in the country, right on I-25 though, and there is a bar across the interstate from my store and in the summer months you'll find goats in the bar. I have no idea of their purpose in the bar since I've been banned from the bar going on 10 years now.

Yes, I can see the humor in it, goats are allowed in my local bar but I'm not.
Whatcha do to get banned? And goats?
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Old 12-18-2011, 09:48 PM   #26
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when you order a white russian and the bartender looks at you funny and calls you a fag.
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Old 12-19-2011, 07:40 AM   #27
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When the bartenders teeth are greener than your lawn.
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Old 12-19-2011, 07:46 AM   #28
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When the bartenders teeth are greener than your lawn.

And you have to "reach out and kick old green teeth right in the knee".

Apologies to Charlie Daniels.
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Old 12-19-2011, 02:22 PM   #29
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Every vehicle in the parking has a gun rack.
and they are full.

-------------------------------

When you can't rty a pickup any of the females, because you are related to all of them.
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Old 12-24-2011, 07:13 PM   #30
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When the waitresses have more toes than teeth.

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