To thy trails we come, Thy maintenance be done In Garage, As it is on the trail. Give us this day our daily drive, And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those that trespass on us, And lead us not unto illegal closures But deliver us from Sierra Clubbers For thine is clearance, The articulation, And the traction forever. Amen
Three mechanics were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first mechanic finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried. Turning to the other two, he says, "At Ford, we are trained to be extremely thorough."
The second mechanic finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turns and says, "At Chevrolet, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."
The third mechanic finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder: "At Jeep, we don't pee on our hands."
[*]If you use a hose to clean the inside and the outside[*]You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station[*]When the best route from point A to point B is through the rockpile or over the mountain[*]When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark[*]You roll it over and don't get upset[*]Your mom and sister can't get in without help[*]You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb[*]You get custom pin-striping from trail brush[*]If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts[*]When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days[*]When you take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail? I don't see a trail!"[*]When you've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ, and XJ to your spell-checker[*]When you can see OVER a Suburban[*]You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up[*]When your Nerf bars battle rocks and win[*]When it rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off[*]When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless[*]When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break[*]If your Parts Dept. is on blocks behind your house[*]When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again[*]You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield[*]You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents[*]Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints[*]Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling[*]You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other[*]Winter comes and your can't remember where you left the roof[*]You spend more on car washes than on insurance[*]Even worse the car wash won't let you in[*]You fix almost everything yourself[*]When you feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser[*]When you have all your credit card numbers memorized[*]When you slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground[*]If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snow storm and get paid for it[*]Your "Significant Other" refuses to get in it[*]You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway[*]You are dating your mechanic to get a discount[*]You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily[*]You can't hear your $200 stereo over the noise of your tires on the highway[*]You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep[*]Any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel[*]You carry a set of steps with you at all times[*]You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud[*]You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage[*]You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident[*]You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep[*]You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm[*]You're constantly getting passed on the highway[*]Your wallet is always empty[*]When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Jeep
Just found it on the Net, no harms
Don't forget to add:
you know you drive a jeep is you drive up the steep grass hills to get to your neighborhood instead of taking the off ramp or the neighborhood entrance.
Make Sure Everyone is Dead within hearing and sight range. Only then, you can say any area is cleared.