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Old 10-10-2007, 08:32 AM   #1
I luv bourbonz!
 
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Location: Bartlett, TN
Posts: 3,089
Zen Advice...

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not
walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me
either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
broken fan belt and leaky tire.


3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're
going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like
everyone else.

6 Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a
mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for
you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all
day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the
windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side
and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.

19 Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.

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Old 10-10-2007, 08:41 AM   #2
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Quote:
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
missing a couple of car payments.
Sage Advice

~Lev

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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."
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Old 10-10-2007, 08:39 PM   #3
amy
Kalashnikitty

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Quote:
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
No, some people seem weird from the get go.
__________________
Good girls go to Heaven. Jeep girls go where ever they want.
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Old 10-15-2007, 02:00 AM   #4
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Posts: 2,708
here's one...
'man who stand on toilet is high on pot'
__________________
Keepin the peace.

The difference between sport and combat is that in combat you bury the one who comes in second.

THANK YOU VETS!
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Old 10-15-2007, 03:58 PM   #5
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Location: Lower California
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 02Prove View Post
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not
walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me
either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
I never knew anyone was listening to me, to quote me like that. (sniff) I'm touched.
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I'm not gonna go over that......

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