I thought a trip report would have surfaced today but apparently this one is going to have to start with me.....
A few months ago, I planned a Moab trip with a few friends. As time passed the trip evolved into a much different direction Moderate wheeling and ample vs simply seeing what bad ideas of trails we could get ourselves into. As the original crew "had things come up" it tapered into a very solid batch of friends from this board to hit the trail with.
List of partners in crime:
(as far as I'm concerned their first day running Hell's Revenge and enjoying 80 degree weather didn't actually happen or count.... The trip was my idea and they showed up first...)
After my arrival we tossed down some cocktails and went to play pool. My dog decided to work on her choir practice while in Cyril's RV and my passed out gf slept through it... This was not something I took great pleasure in learning about later. I had an in depth discussion with Latte (the dog) about this unacceptable behavior later... the blank stare I received gave me great confidence that it will not occur again....
Day #1.) Rusty Nail (Gold Bar Rim>Rusty>Golden Spike fun section>Gold Bar:
Woke up feeling the fact that I skipped dinner and consumed a handful of delicious adult beverages the prior evening. A reduced bar tab and increased efficiency in reaching the desired state of mild intoxication had seemed a much more reasonable trade off the prior evening than in the morning when trying to ward off the grogginess, headache, and fabulous taste of hops which remained through 2 rounds with crest and a medium bristled toothbrush... It seems hangovers earned in Moab have learned a lesson in resilience from the red dust that will never fully wash out of our vehicles. Fortunately, a relaxed preparation + coffee and some McDonald's breakfast resolved this....
Great day on the trail, great weather, fast tempo. The winch came out once when Larry got his rear passenger tire wedged between 2 rocks. It was bound up pretty good and to avoid potential complications at the beginning opted to winch sideways and he ran the rest of the trail clean. That was the only rope pulled for the day. We played on all the optional side stuff and the only line we couldn't pull was somewhere above double whammy *correct me if i'm wrong*
TrailDamage.com - Gold Bar Rim
TrailDamage.com - Rusty Nail
TrailDamage.com - Golden Spike
Due to the incredibly cold weather that night, we broke out a deck of cards, and after introducing the crew to "twisted tea" and Crazy 8's (card game like uno), we sat up joking, drinking, and losing to game after game to Jess until 4am....
Day #2.) Woke up to COLD weather.... quick breakfast stop and off to BFE. Dropped into the system and headed straight to Helldorado. There was another group of jeeps in the area and had a dozen or so spectators watching as Cyril, Craig, and I ran through the entrance. Everyone made it with no issue and quite quickly... It was a great start despite the snow flurries that were falling. Each of us pulled a line at the waterfall. Craig scraped his soft top frame a tiny bit through the squeeze and I put a dent in my rear quarter panel just before the waterfall hugging a rock a bit too close to try and "avoid getting as tippy" to appease the girlfriend.... clearly this wasn't the best idea in the world.
TrailDamage.com - Helldorado
HERE IS WHERE THE DAY GOT INTERESTING:
Day #2, Part #2..... Britney Spears, there was Lube, a probe, a wound, and lot's of fluids..... Let's just say this was not as pleasant as it may have sounded....
Somehow, I was elected to go first. I left "sloppy seconds" to the rest of the crew.... I buckled up to the sound of Britney's irritating drone of music flowing out of another vehicle. I was quite pleased my V8 makes hearing much of anything else nearly impossible. I walked up the approach to the first big section of the trail. I was just too narrow to squeeze between the 2 boulders and with the 100" wheelbase, wasn't getting the traction I needed to pull the line over the top of it. I'm sure experience also played a role in my failure.... I ended up backing off it and Cyril ran the entire trail clean. We played with a few ideas and between the three of us were able to find a line that worked by cresting a teeter tottering coffin shaped rock at the top and using it to pull out of the last hole..... Next up, Craig.... at the approach, the sidewall of a nearly brand new MTR/k slit wide open.... I would have thrown a tantrum and been pissed for the rest of the day.... Not Craig. Out came the Powertank Brand tire repair kit... (I mention the brand solely in hopes someone has the same kit and will post a picture of the instructions).... This proved VERY entertaining..... The instructions in no fewer words instructed you to "probe the wound" "liberally lube the probe and stuff something in the hole", etc.... it was dramatically more explicit and humorous than I can recall. It yielded entertainment for the duration of the trip..... Craig: Thank you for sacrificing a fresh $600- tire+patch kit for some childish laughs from the rest of us....
Tire patched: time to turn back? I think not...... Up and over the large SUPER tippy line. As Craig started to square up to the top obstacle before you turn back downhill we noticed a significant leak. Apparently when a tranny skid was installed the included hardware was too long and had punctured his tranny oil pan. We assumed the tranny itself had cracked and literally looked like it had gotten scared and urinated all the fluid out of the jeep very rapidly removing all functionality out of the unit. *fast forward 7-8 hours* 2 tow straps were consumed by the sandstone and the cold had returned. We were able to build a few large rock piles and extract his tj out in reverse the way he had entered. Despite a long day, a cans of miller high life and constant wise cracks kept spirits high and we got off the trail. Larry came with the rescue vehicle and got us all off the trail safely. I'm astonished he never had so much as a single drip considering he had run Carnage, Penrose, South Dakota, and every other trail with the bolt all the way into the drain pan.... Either way I was very relieved when we dropped the skid the following morning and discovered this was the only issue and will hopefully be an easy fix.
Trail Damage doesn't even have this trail listed.... from my understanding it is the hardest trail in BFE that has proven to be drivable.... 2nd'd only to black flag which I have never read has been driven... here is a video (not from our group, just random youtube video) but you can match up the photos:
Day #3.) I was fortunate to wake up at 9:30 with no hangover.... My buddy George had made it into town and met us to run Pritchett. The entire trip was about noon-4:30pm.... Highlights of the day.... Loads of the stupid pedal, I winched "Chewy" as my wheeling testicles had not yet dropped for the day and after 3 attempts pulled line..... Larry did the same. George's wheelbase proved too much for a solid line on the rock pile bypass and he was forced to pull cable there. We all pulled line once (Cyril didn't, but stacked rocks.... He was comfortable with this as he ended up back where he started pre-stacking and walked the line anyway).... *cough* rock stacker *cough* No other cable or strapping was needed.
TrailDamage.com - Pritchett Canyon
Day #4.) George and I headed out for Metal Masher at about 9:30 and made it back to camp to hit the road home around 1:00pm.... Great trail, zero winching, and walked up all the optional stuff including Rock Chucker. I was pleased with this as once I got up it, the initial line didn't seem to be working. I was not thrilled about the idea of backing off so when the jeep walked up after I worked the wheel to the right I was more relieved than actually pleased BEAUTIFUL trail and weather though.
TrailDamage.com - Metal Masher
Things I learned:
1.) Craig is very skilled with Lube, a probe, and wounded holes.... even though it was his first time, he seemed like it was his calling.....
2.) Cyril does NOT need a v-8..... He drives so damn fast I barely got any of the photos I wanted unless I had a desire to try and Baja along the edges of cliffs to catch up. Hence, you all missed the greatest moments I think some one here should swap in a 2 stroke lawnmower engine or v-2 to slow him down
3.) Don't gamble with Jess unless you want to lose.....
4.) Britney Spears is a C*NT .... She definitely is a 3 beer+ girl and will potentially take up a solid portion of your day and night...
5.) Pack more than one camera... put one in everyone else's jeep.... drive first or second in line.... and do it slow... then you will get some photos of yourself out of the trip as well
6.) The rest of you missed out and should have come!