If you don't know how to train a dog within 15 minutes, by yourself, don't have one. They are easy to train and want to please people. If you're a reckless idiot, the dog will be too. Get the dog's attention. There is never a reason to hit one either. If you need to make sure it's listening, one sheet of rolled up newspaper will do, not two, not a whole paper or section. It makes a loud pop and you can't even feel it. Abuse this, or the dog and it will eventually bite.
I don't like pits myself, but the breed is perfectly fine, it's almost always the owner who is the problem.
The only people I know who don't like dogs have serious problems and dogs don't like them either, for good reasons. What fate? You ate the last one, didn't ya? I think the wife should get rid of you.