|09-11-2009 01:48 PM|
This is a PERFECT example of these online forums haha
How Many Internet Mail List Subscribers Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed;
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently;
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs;
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs;
53 to flame the spell checkers;
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames;
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb";
another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive;
156 to write to the list administrator about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list;
109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to Litebulb-L;
203 to demand that cross posting to Grammar-L, Spelling-L and Illuminati-L about changing light bulbs be stopped;
111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mail list;
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty;
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs;
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and to post the corrected URL's;
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list;
33 to link all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers and then add "Me too";
12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy;
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three";
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ;
44 to ask what is "FAQ";
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago on Usenet?"
143 to ask "what's Usenet?"
|09-11-2009 01:41 PM|
How Real Jeepers Remove the Cork From a Bottle of Wine. . .
1. Call buddies and have them come over with their Jeeps (fully loaded and ready for action)
2. Air down tires to 0 psi
3. Lay wine bottle down in soft ground (sand, wet mud, etc)
4. Drive onto bottle so that it is firmly secured and cannot move (better use a Spotter for this step; one wrong move and the whole operation could be ruined!)
5. Dig a small hole with your camp shovel under the mouth of the bottle, just big enough for a Dixie cup to fit underneath
6. Pull out your tire chuck and air hose, and connect to your York on-board air system
7. Locate an extra tire valve and some JB Weld from your spare parts box
8. Using your Leatherman Multi-Tool, cut off the rubber end of the tire valve and file the metal shroud to a sharp point
9. Punch a hole through the cork using the cleaning awl from your tire repair kit
10. Quickly jam the valve stem through the cork and secure with JB Weld
11. Beer break
12. Call girlfriend and tell her dinner will be a little late
13. After JB Weld has hardened, attach air chuck to tire valve and "pressurize" bottle until cork pops out
If that doesn't work . . .
1. Use your valve stem removal tool to remove the stem from the tire valve
2. Retrieve a can of starting fluid and waterproof canister of matches from your spare parts box
3. Spray a generous amount of starting fluid into the tire valve and remove one match from the canister
4. Yell "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!" and toss lighted match towards tire valve opening
5. Make sure no one is in the line of fire . . . $h!t . . . use Leatherman tool to remove tire valve from buddy's forehead, who wasn't listening and seems to be stuck on Step #11 above anyway, as there are a heck of a lot more empty beer cans on the ground than you remember just a little while ago!
6. Temporarily patch hole in buddy's forehead with Duct Tape and take him to the Emergency Room
7. Talk to cute nurse
8. Call girlfriend and tell her dinner will be a bit later still; ask if she wouldn't mind take-out
9. Obtain a 1/2-inch or larger self-tapping eyelet from your spare parts box and screw it into the cork, which is still firmly wedged inside of the wine bottle
10. Secure with a generous application of JB Weld; don't want this baby slipping out like the tire valve!
11. Beer break
12. Have buddy with new Warn HS9500i winch play out about 20 feet of cable and attach hook to eyelet in cork
13. Throw cardboard from empty case of beer over winch cable for safety
14. Slowly take up slack in cable and continue to pull until cork pops out of bottle
15. Dammit! Promise buddy to pay for the damage caused by the wine bottle traveling at slightly subsonic speed through his windshield
16. Take buddy back to Emergency Room for treatment of lacerations from shattered glass
17. Talk to cute nurse again and get her phone number this time
18. Call girlfriend to see if she will be free next Friday; offer to take her out to dinner
19. Stop at the Corner Store and buy another case of beer
20. Call cute nurse to see what time she gets off work; ask her if she likes beer. Great!!
21. Throw bottle of wine in garbage can!
|09-11-2009 11:21 AM|
|09-10-2009 11:42 PM|
x2 on the knocking back a few with some good friends.
|09-10-2009 11:36 PM|
|09-10-2009 09:18 PM|
so, exactly how does a cop know which license plate to run?
|09-10-2009 08:14 PM|
|09-10-2009 08:10 PM|
|Hondarider||My wife says that if you substitute Mountain Dew for beer...you will have accurately described 1 weekend per month for the ten years we've been married. She's absolutely correct. I think I'm going to start using the Jiffy Lube.|
|09-10-2009 07:39 PM|
|09-10-2009 07:35 PM|
|09-10-2009 07:34 PM|
|09-10-2009 07:34 PM|
|09-10-2009 07:24 PM|
This here is a true story...I'm sure you can relate
How to Change the Oil in Your Jeep. . .
Pull in to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3,000 since the last oil change
Drink a cup of coffee
Fifteen minutes later, pay $25 and leave with a properly maintained Jeep
Go to NAPA Auto Parts and pay $30 for oil, filter, hand cleaner, scented tree air freshener, and numerous other items you realize you need
Discover that your used oil collection container is full; take it to the recycling center
Spend 20 minutes trying to locate your floor jack and jack stands; no luck
Have a beer; you don't really need to jack up the Jeep anyway
Place used oil collection container under the engine
Pull out socket wrench and socket; the 5th one you try is finally the correct size
Unscrew oil drain plug
Drop drain plug in oil; splashing hot oil all over you (and the garage floor) in the process
Wipe off face with dirty shop rag and sprinkle kitty litter on garage floor where oil splashed
Have another beer while oil is draining
Look 15 minutes for oil filter wrench; no luck
Poke oil filter with a Phillips screwdriver and twist it off
Wipe oil off of your arm with same dirty rag used in step 9; sprinkle more kitty litter on floor
Buddy shows up; finish off 6-pack with him. Screw the oil change; finish it tomorrow!
Next day, drag full oil collection container out from underneath the Jeep
Sprinkle more kitty litter on oil spilled during step 15
Have a . . . wait, no beer left, drank it all yesterday
Walk 2 miles to Corner Store; buy more beer
Apply a thin coat of clean oil to gasket and install new oil filter
Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine
Remember drain plug from step 8!
Scramble to find drain plug in oil collection container
Hurry to replace drain plug before entire quart of fresh oil drains all over floor
Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame; band head on floor board in reaction
Begin cussing fit and throw wrench across garage
Clean up and apply Band-Aid to knuckles
Sprinkle kitty litter on one entire quart of fresh oil now pooled under the Jeep
Have another beer
Dump in remainder of oil into engine
Realize that while you were under the Jeep, it would have been a good time to grease everything, bleed the brakes, replace those dry-rotted body spacers, and find out where that hideous clanking noise is coming from
Drive back to NAPA and buy another $150 worth of parts that either won't fit, will break when you try to install them, or will be saved for a later project (all of which will have long been misplaced by the time you are ready to start subject project)
Drive Jeep (1-quart low of oil) for 7,000 miles; then return to Step 1
|09-10-2009 07:22 PM|
|09-10-2009 07:16 PM|
Jeep Mechanic Joke
Three mechanics were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first mechanic finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried. Turning to the other two, he says, "At Ford, we are trained to be extremely thorough."
The second mechanic finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turns and says, "At Chevrolet, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."
The third mechanic finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder: "At Jeep, we don't pee on our hands."
|09-10-2009 07:09 PM|
|09-10-2009 07:04 PM|
|Levinoss||That is one of my fav pictures.|
|09-10-2009 07:01 PM|
sorry guys im bored at work...i just get a kick outta some of these pictures, feel free to post your funny jeep stuff
|09-10-2009 06:55 PM|
|09-10-2009 06:53 PM|
how about this body lift?
|09-10-2009 06:52 PM|
|cavediverjc||Well, when you're weird enough to do that to a Jeep, the dogbone probably makes sense!!|
|09-10-2009 06:51 PM|
What Dog Bone?
So i found this jeep picture on google....kind of weird...not quite sure what the dog bone has to do with anything?