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-   -   5 minute manager (http://www.wranglerforum.com/f6/5-minute-manager-13762.html)

sgnellett 12-05-2007 10:11 AM

5 minute manager
 
5 minute management course

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
-
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel. "
-
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?"
-
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.

:rofl: :doh: :rofl:

02Prove 12-05-2007 10:22 AM

Sooo true.

skeeter 12-05-2007 10:47 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7fmy0JOHBg

Dare2BSquare 12-05-2007 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skeeter (Post 167111)


That one is Debruins proofed.

debruins 12-05-2007 07:16 PM

haha
i wasnt gonna watch it but then u said that so i did

sgnellett 12-06-2007 09:17 AM

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
-
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.

02Prove 12-06-2007 09:21 AM

:rofl:

debruins 12-06-2007 10:30 AM

hahaha

Jase 12-06-2007 10:48 AM

:rofl::rofl:

sgnellett 12-09-2007 12:12 AM

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas
, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
-
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
-
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
-
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

sgnellett 12-09-2007 12:13 AM

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and
do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
-
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

jjseel 12-09-2007 03:22 AM

Thanks, snig!

sgnellett 12-10-2007 09:21 AM

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
-
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.
-
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
-
Moral of the story:
Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

foxinthemudd 12-10-2007 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sgnellett (Post 169318)
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
-
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.
-
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
-
Moral of the story:
Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

I like this one...:D

RIPBiker13 12-11-2007 12:44 AM

I had a great joke but it's not for public eyes. I would get banned...

foxinthemudd 12-11-2007 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RIPBiker13 (Post 169670)
I had a great joke but it's not for public eyes. I would get banned...

I want a PM!:wavey::crash:

ms04sahara 12-11-2007 12:58 PM

good stuff sgnellett. all are good but #3 for sho.

RIPBiker13 12-11-2007 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foxinthemudd (Post 169705)
I want a PM!:wavey::crash:

18+ only kids! :crash:

foxinthemudd 12-11-2007 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RIPBiker13 (Post 170117)
18+ only kids! :crash:

PM SENT TO YOU AS WELL! I liked that one you sent :D:rofl::rofl:

RIPBiker13 12-11-2007 11:06 PM

That was great! :rofl::rofl:

foxinthemudd 12-11-2007 11:10 PM

thanks I have a ton more but I didn't want to take the time to write them out. :D lazy...ya know :D

RIPBiker13 12-11-2007 11:13 PM

I sent you another one. :D It sucks typing them out! :rofl:

foxinthemudd 12-11-2007 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RIPBiker13 (Post 170196)
I sent you another one. :D It sucks typing them out! :rofl:

that one is good I heard it a long time ago. But the ball is back in your court now enjoy! :wavey:

sgnellett 12-11-2007 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RIPBiker13 (Post 170196)
I sent you another one. :D It sucks typing them out! :rofl:

Quote:

Originally Posted by foxinthemudd (Post 170222)
that one is good I heard it a long time ago. But the ball is back in your court now enjoy! :wavey:

Um, Hello? :wavey:

RIPBiker13 12-11-2007 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sgnellett (Post 170227)
Um, Hello? :wavey:

:flipoff:

We're cops, so we bond well!

RIPBiker13 12-11-2007 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foxinthemudd (Post 170222)
that one is good I heard it a long time ago. But the ball is back in your court now enjoy! :wavey:

OMG I can't stop laughing! :rofl::rofl:

foxinthemudd 12-11-2007 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sgnellett (Post 170227)
Um, Hello? :wavey:

:wavey: HI!:wavey:

RIPBiker13 12-11-2007 11:48 PM

I'm trying to remember more! That was great! I'm STILL chuckling...

foxinthemudd 12-11-2007 11:50 PM

I got a ton of them I just really hate typing them out.

foxinthemudd 12-11-2007 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sgnellett (Post 170227)
Um, Hello? :wavey:

See Sgnellett we didn't forget about you :wavey::D:flipoff:


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