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DaisyCutter 03-06-2012 10:28 AM

"Act of Valor" Movie Rant
 
WARNING: This may Tick you off.



I was warned that the acting was questionable. Navy SEALs aren't actors everyone says.
I was warned the plot is thin, barely adequate enough to stitch together multiple firefights in the jungle, desert, etc.
Despite the warnings, I still paid my $9.50 in hopes of seeing a movie that was at least a smidge more technically realistic than the typical Hollywood garbage.


Contrary to my hopes, I think Act of Valor was by far the most "Hollywood" war movie I've ever watched.
Countless times I considered leaving the theater, but after paying $9.50 I wanted to be able to blast it in it's entirety.


Sheit that really bothered me while watching a realistic movie utilizing authentic Navy SEALs:

Freaking gratuitous headshots everywhere. Snipers are doing scoped headshots to badguys on the run. I suppose that's only ho-hum when you're so good you can pull off a headshot and have your victim fall within one MOA so that your underwater buddy can catch the 200# carcass and silently lower it into the drink. What kind of projectile do I need in order to control the direction my victim falls? How many times does the typical SEAL practice the 200# underwater carcass catch? It would seem like a beitch to master that move. And if your shooter makes the victim fall over at even a fraction of an angle in the wrong direction, all that practice would be for naught.

Why does every bullet impact have to require the same "bug squishing" sound effect? I was pretty damn drunk when watching this movie, and I still couldn't ignore the juvenile sound effects. Maybe the squishing noise is why it's called "popping" someone when you shoot them? I dunno. The airplane tires squeaking on the dirt airstrip a mile off in the distance was another brilliant idea.

Frigging fireballs. I want to find the director of "The A-Team" and kick his ass for teaching everyone that high explosive generates a huge fireball. Every vehicle, boat, explosive vest, etc... required a huge fireball, and the fiery explosions spanned from 5 minutes in, to within 5 minutes of the ending.

Do Navy SEALs really approach a target walking upright on flat ground, totally silhouetted by a full moon? Do they still need night vision under a full moon, while standing next to a huge fireball? I suppose I'd use night vision at noon if I had it. Do they really stealthily search for bad guys door-to-door at midnight, or would they simply use FLIR and see which house contains a bunch of children sleeping... and which one contains a guy building suicide bomber vests at his workbench at midnight? That way you could avoid the whole door-to-door thingy.

One thing for sure is that those Navy SEALS were brave, after your boat buddy takes an rocket propelled grenade to the chest, and it doesn't immediately detonate, you just casually pick the high explosive ordinance up, pronounce it a dud, and start waving it around. Then you hand the grenade off to another buddy who happily grabs it up and wanders off. I'm not a SEAL. I'd be doing well to sheit in my pants, hold my breath, yell, "fire in a hole" and fling the grenade in a safe direction. And yes, if I have to pluck the rocket off your chest, you better believe that you get to clean out my trousers for me. It's called reciprocation.

Next on my list, is this suicide bomber thing. The whole drill where you come across a person who's wearing an explosive vest and holding a detonator. I've personally had training for this scenario. Not SEAL "scoped headshots on the run" training, just beat cop training... but when you come across a person wearing a suicide vest and holding a detonator, THIS IS WHEN YOU SHOOT SOMEONE IN THE HEAD. The director and his SEAL actors managed to overlook the one scenario which wouldn've been a mandatory headshot. Luckily for Hollywood SEALs, they can outrun Hollywood high explosive, and the subsequent Hollywood fireball. I'm pretty sure that suicide bomber made the damn bug squishing noise when she detonated.

Another problem I have is when a room is pronounced "clear" without searching it. Just because you killed the one person actively engaging you, doesn't mean there isn't someone else waiting for you. I know your buddy is shot up a bit, and it's good that you want to be all tender and hug him after shooting the bad guy who got him. But please check the rest of the room and down the hallway before just turning your back on all that unchecked and unsecured real estate.



Issues that get honorable mention for Hollywood stupidity:

Kicking the windshield out of a truck going 50 mph. Big flat sheet of glass, aligned perpendicular to the windflow, nuff said. It was cute though.

Boats don't have a spring loaded gas pedal like a car. When you shoot the boat operator, the boat doesn't stop.


Lastly:

Didn't any of these SEALs, the director, or even the editor, watch this pile of steaming dung once before releasing it. Because after several rum & cokes I still managed to see the wounded SEALs handgun go to slide lock midway through a firing sequence near the end of the <del>video game</del>, er.. movie. Ya, he's pulling the trigger and going *bang-bang* with the slide locked back. I think he actually drops a tango using this method.




It wasn't until I got home from the movie that it dawned on me what I really had watched. This wasn't a movie. It wasn't a realistic depiction of anything. It was simply a propaganda military recruiting tool, conveniently released in Spring to attract a bunch of "Call of Duty" playing generation X-Box'ers into the recruiting office between now and high school graduation. The use of genuine SEALS is a blatant advertisement.



:popcorn:

the Kolector 03-06-2012 10:50 AM

:popcorn:

Something tells me, regardless of wether I agree or not, that this thread will turn ugly. I hope not.

Another Guy In A Jeep 03-06-2012 10:55 AM

Its a movie.

daggo66 03-06-2012 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Another Guy In A Jeep (Post 2109682)
Its a movie.

Bingo!

Mr. Sinister 03-06-2012 12:20 PM

Hollywood ruins everything. Next.

DaisyCutter 03-06-2012 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Another Guy In A Jeep (Post 2109682)
Its a movie.

I was gullible for believing all the "this is genuine" propaganda. I'm irked that I bought in, and I needed to rant a bit.

GREEN-MACHINE 03-06-2012 01:16 PM

excellent movie review dasiycutter,, now the real question, did you like the movie or not,,,, you never answered that.

123 03-06-2012 01:32 PM

i liked the movie alot the seals can make crazy shots like pirates being on one boat with a hostage and seals on another boat (waves moving each vessel up and down) and pulling off headshots i have seen a rpg hit a t wall and not go off it just stuck in there so we call e.o.d. out and they disposed of it much more carefully but it was picked up and moved

so yes far fetched as it may be some scenes r possible but what i liked most about the movie is the seals were seals and i didnt see anything they did that was wrong like how they react to fire r take cover not trying to argue just figured i would be the first to provide another view

cavediverjc 03-06-2012 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123 (Post 2110241)
i liked the movie alot the seals can make crazy shots like pirates being on one boat with a hostage and seals on another boat (waves moving each vessel up and down) and pulling off headshots i have seen a rpg hit a t wall and not go off it just stuck in there so we call e.o.d. out and they disposed of it much more carefully but it was picked up and moved

so yes far fetched as it may be some scenes r possible but what i liked most about the movie is the seals were seals and i didnt see anything they did that was wrong like how they react to fire r take cover not trying to argue just figured i would be the first to provide another view

Your response is barely legible. Try using punctuation and the occasional period to avoid run-on sentences. If you wish to be taken seriously, you must present yourself seriously.

EDIT: FWIW, I'm not trying to be a jerk. I'm just trying to give you a heads-up on making your posts a little more readable.

cavediverjc 03-06-2012 02:03 PM

And Daisy Cutter, for everything you ranted about, for every flaw you saw in that glorified recruiting stunt...THAT'S the reason why I chose not to watch that movie. I had a feeling it was going to be nothing but CRAP and thanks for the heads-up. I'm glad I didn't spend any money on it. For those of us who have seen REAL combat and have ACTIVELY engaged the enemy, it's almost impossible to watch a movie like that. The tactical errors are EVERYWHERE. I guess big-time movie producers no longer hire consultants when filming a combat movie. Hopefully your movie review will help others decide not to spend their money on this movie.

Thanks for your write-up! :thumb:

123 03-06-2012 02:18 PM

I apologize for not using punctuation it is something I need to work on. :flowers:Botttom line is I liked the movie and you did'nt I should have never gotten on your thread.:surrender:

Megafriday 03-06-2012 02:19 PM

Suspension of disbelief is the name of the game. Now, put those critical thinking skills away!

khende 03-06-2012 02:37 PM

I just finished the book derived from this screen play and did not think it was a great book. I will wait to see the movie on DVD.

IndyJeepMan 03-06-2012 02:40 PM

I lost you at... "drunk at a public movie theatre".

Aunt Flow 03-06-2012 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndyJeepMan
I lost you at... "drunk at a public movie theatre".

I didn't get much past that either.

Flea Bite 03-06-2012 04:44 PM

It’s a lot of movie but the actions of the men moving through the fear and making their sacrifices of war- Valor. However Monsoor Family God Bless you all, Mike will never before forgotten!

danatkins 03-06-2012 05:01 PM

to the OP do you know any seals. I've talked with plenty of sharpshooters and no doubt in my mind that a well trained person with a sniper rifle could get a headshot at 200 yards on a running target ;-)

Flea Bite 03-06-2012 05:11 PM

Well while I am @ it CPL Palmer, MSG Mack, CPL Anderson,SPC Graves and all the other Brothers I have lost... You will NOT be forgotten! I guess you need to have Valor to understand! Sorry I guess it did get under my skin a little. God Bless your freedom to be drunk in a movie theater...

DaK 03-06-2012 05:14 PM

We tend to skip most military movies... Being a SQUID myself, flyer and experience on the flatops... I just can't stomach Hollywood's interpretation and glammerification of life at sea or any other life of a military person. Why I refuse to see Battleship... Dang things have been decom'ed for over 20 yrs and now you make a movie? IJUTS

OIIIIOersCreepers 03-06-2012 10:08 PM

lol this "review" cracked me up. good laugh. i had a bad suspicion of it and thats why i havent seen it yet for full price. i have been trained in some of these scenerios and i agree with what you are saying in your post....which ruins so many tv shows and movies for me. i just laugh or go "what the hell you got to be kidding me!" or "yeah, no".
when it comes down to it i will see this movie for entertainment purposes, which usually is the case for 90% of all military movies.

Wrangler06 03-06-2012 10:21 PM

wow, i actually read your whole review.. did you really notice all those tiny little things? did you even get the whole picture and meaning of the movie? i hate when people nit pick like that....if you could direct a movie better then why don't you do and do it?...i thought it was one of the best movies ive seen in a while...you dont think a navy seal could catch a 200lb man and lower him into the water like that? you dont think a seal sniper could drop a man with a headshot 200 yards away? id say they could...loved the movie..but then again i didnt pay 9.50..only paid 8
just like you i had to get my rant out ;]

armygreen 03-06-2012 11:17 PM

AWESOME RANT DaisyC, thank you! :appl:
you've saved me money, time, and frustration.

i rant enough as it is with movie posters with the horrid "finger inside the trigger guard" as i try to teach everyone i know about actual gun safety.

retardation like this from an everyday action movie is unenjoyable enough,
but from this particular movie based on how they hyped it, is sad, wrong, offensive, and will probably help get some stupid kid killed someday.

klkb 03-06-2012 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cavediverjc

Your response is barely legible. Try using punctuation and the occasional period to avoid run-on sentences. If you wish to be taken seriously, you must present yourself seriously.

EDIT: FWIW, I'm not trying to be a jerk. I'm just trying to give you a heads-up on making your posts a little more readable.

Thank you.

I suppose this is the same reason why real surgeons didn't watch ER, or real cops didn't watch NYPD Blue. It's entertainment, not a documentary. I think if you go into it expecting all kinds of realism then you're setting yourself up for great disappointment.

nick50471 03-06-2012 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by indyjeepman
i lost you at... "drunk at a public movie theatre".

Quote:

Originally Posted by aunt flow

i didn't get much past that either.

x3

fan of fanboys 03-06-2012 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wrangler06
wow, i actually read your whole review.. did you really notice all those tiny little things? did you even get the whole picture and meaning of the movie? i hate when people nit pick like that....if you could direct a movie better then why don't you do and do it?...i thought it was one of the best movies ive seen in a while...you dont think a navy seal could catch a 200lb man and lower him into the water like that? you dont think a seal sniper could drop a man with a headshot 200 yards away? id say they could...loved the movie..but then again i didnt pay 9.50..only paid 8
just like you i had to get my rant out ;]

To be fair, just bc someone thinks/believes a person did a bad job (this case directing) doesn't mean they believe they are better.

When Tom Brady has a bad game I may criticize but il under no illusion I woulda done better.

armygreen 03-07-2012 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by klkb (Post 2112453)
Thank you.

I suppose this is the same reason why real surgeons didn't watch ER, or real cops didn't watch NYPD Blue. It's entertainment, not a documentary. I think if you go into it expecting all kinds of realism then you're setting yourself up for great disappointment.

welp it's the moviemakers fault here based on how they marketed it.

george lucas never marketed star wars as remotely realistic,

this movie clearly is,
as was "Saving Private Ryan", and "Platoon",
and most people (viewers not professional reviewers) said both those movies did infact have a lot more realism than your average war movie. Same for "Black Hawk Down" if that's what it was named, i forget the actual movie name but you probably know the one i mean.

bottom line a movie is supposed to be enjoyed, and i for one simply don't enjoy fake-ish movies unless it's intended to be, like "Scary Movie", a spoof of horror films.

the orignal "Night of the Living Dead" was truly scary to me and a lot of people,
i'm convinced that has a lot to do with why it became such a classic still talked about today.

Have you ever seen the very first Bond movie? it has gritty fight scene with Sean Connery and some whitehaired German looking guy (looked like Rutger Hauer but long before his time), that movie and that fight scene were really enjoyable to watch -FOR- their realism and not bullsht you see in most fight scenes. it remains today a talked-about scene for those reasons, it's actually kind of ugly and violent like a real situation of grappling for your life, not Price Line Negotiator Judo Chops.

i'm glad this rant was posted and i read it, now i know that movie isn't worth my time. it was clearly marketed as "worth my time", the movie Platoon was certainly worth my time , as others i mention.

:popcorn:

s3nt3nc3d 03-07-2012 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by armygreen (Post 2112447)
AWESOME RANT DaisyC, thank you! :appl:
you've saved me money, time, and frustration.

i rant enough as it is with movie posters with the horrid "finger inside the trigger guard" as i try to teach everyone i know about actual gun safety.

retardation like this from an everyday action movie is unenjoyable enough,
but from this particular movie based on how they hyped it, is sad, wrong, offensive, and will probably help get some stupid kid killed someday.


I agree...

I think some people are missing the OP's point thinking he's insulting the men and women of our military and that's not at all what he's getting at...he's insulting Hollywood for putting such a "movie spin" on the military which insults the military and as an effect is insulting to him. And while I have never been in the military, I do have many friends who are/have been...and I think seeing something like this marketed as being "realistic" or "something Navy SEALS do on a daily basis" would be quite insulting to them as well.

Bloopers in a movie really add up...and for something as realistic as this is supposed to be, you definitely don't want a lot of super noticeable bloopers or unrealistic action.

lovecheese 03-07-2012 01:40 AM

When a military movie comes out... people automatically jump to the YOU ARE NOT A PATRIOT if they say the movie sucks. I will go see this movie to make my decision up myself.

Just because he didn't like it doesn't mean he's not a patriot. Hell, I dislike a lot of military movies and I'm in the military.

Flea Bite 03-07-2012 09:49 AM

Act of Valor was inspired by true U.S. Navy SEALS stories | Arts | National Post

Flea Bite 03-07-2012 09:53 AM

Rare Mikey Monsoor memorial footage - YouTube


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