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KBR97 04-11-2009 10:05 PM

The Official CHUCK NORRIS Thread
Chuck Norris once sneezed while vacationing in mexico...he caused a hurricane in florida...devastating:doh:

**edit....this should be made sticky...could potentially have lots of crucial information eventually.
It could be a matter of life and death.

KBR97 04-11-2009 10:10 PM

KBR97 04-11-2009 10:14 PM

koorslitek0wb0y 04-11-2009 10:15 PM

Ditka can whoop chuck with both hands tied behind his back and blindfolded wearing a 100 ball and shackle.

joemd60 04-11-2009 10:16 PM

Chuck Norris Facts

KBR97 04-11-2009 10:22 PM


Originally Posted by koorslitek0wb0y (Post 353489)
Ditka can whoop chuck with both hands tied behind his back and blindfolded wearing a 100 ball and shackle.

you know thats not true...I bet you chuck norris is hiding in your bushes right now cause he heard you say that.

joemd60 04-11-2009 10:33 PM

YouTube - Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris in Rome - Way of the dragon

AzTJ 04-11-2009 10:39 PM

There is not a chin behind Chuck Norris's beard, just another fist.

koorslitek0wb0y 04-11-2009 10:43 PM


Originally Posted by KBR97 (Post 353492)
you know thats not true...I bet you chuck norris is hiding in your bushes right now cause he heard you say that.

thats ok cause i have the Ditka security system...

MR.CLIFFORD 04-11-2009 10:53 PM

If you google search Chuck Norris it will return zero results. You don't find Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris finds you!

cavediverjc 04-11-2009 11:14 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't read books.....he just stares at them until they give up all their information.

Chuck Norris is the only man who can un-scramble an egg.

cavediverjc 04-11-2009 11:16 PM

Every night before the Boogey Man goes to bed, he looks under his bed and in his closet for Chuck Norris.

There is no truth in the Theory Of Evolution.......we're all just a bunch of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

ccain 04-11-2009 11:23 PM

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pisses.

cavediverjc 04-11-2009 11:27 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't get cancer, cancer gets Chuck Norris....

There was an old rumor about Chuck Norris getting beaten by a pirate. Come to find out, Chuck Norris started that rumor to lure in more pirates....

ccain 04-11-2009 11:29 PM

Mr. T and Chuck Norris walked into a bar. The bar was immediately destroyed because no simple structure can house that much awesome at one time.

jpdocdave 04-12-2009 07:25 AM

chuck norris doesn't sleep, he waits

jpdocdave 04-12-2009 07:45 AM

chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding

jpdocdave 04-12-2009 07:49 AM

chuck norris CAN lick his elbow

how many tried to do it after reading that?? c'mon, be honest. and please post video.

jgano23 04-12-2009 07:49 AM

chuck norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

jpdocdave 04-12-2009 10:35 AM

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO

KBR97 04-12-2009 10:51 AM

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

-Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

krisbman 05-03-2013 08:55 PM

When Chuck Norris does pushups he doesnt push his body up, he pushes the earth DOWN!!!

Senior Chief 05-03-2013 08:59 PM

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries...

brandon-99tj 05-04-2013 08:19 PM

Chuck Norris CAN slam a revolving door!!

Senior Chief 05-05-2013 08:54 AM

Chuck Norris doesn't lie - he changes the facts..

Raif 05-05-2013 01:50 PM

Clint Eastwood > Chuck Norris.

BlueRidgeYJ 05-06-2013 12:20 PM


Originally Posted by Raif (Post 3721828)
Clint Eastwood > Chuck Norris.


A small lesion fell off Chuck Norris while visiting San Francisco as a young boy. When it sat in the sunshine for a day, it evolved into a 15 year old boy - named Clint Eastwood.

Global warming isn't what y'all think - chuck got cold, so he turned the sun up.

blackrubi003 05-06-2013 03:54 PM

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 4 people......then the grenade exploded.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi trucks gas tank as a joke, that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Milspec1 05-06-2013 07:18 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin, just another fist.

KSJeepBrah 05-06-2013 07:30 PM

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

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