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Dare2BSquare 08-31-2009 06:08 PM

My Pet's Journals
The doggie journal....

8:00 am - Dog food!
My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride!
My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk Bones!
My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dog food!
My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people!
My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Dare2BSquare 08-31-2009 06:09 PM

The cat's journal...

Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe. For now................

TooTallTolar 08-31-2009 06:13 PM

:rofl:Where did you come up with that?

tiny terror 08-31-2009 06:17 PM


BLACKTOOTHGRIN 08-31-2009 06:56 PM

How true it is! :rofl:

I think the only thing that keeps house cats from killing us is their size.
And that's one of the many reasons I don't have a cat! :D

jgano23 08-31-2009 07:50 PM

i got that in an email a while back and i damn near peed myself reading it. those "journal"
entries are so true about both. i showed the email to my dad and he thought it was great. whenever my dog comes up to my dad at work with her tail wagging he laughs and says, "my favorite thing."

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